Fate Remix
by XXZabanya
Summary: Shirou summons a certain Hunter as his partner as he fights a new Grail War. Based on the challange from Jouaint.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Start

As Shirou sat in his classroom, Kuzuki Sensei giving his lecture, he began recalling the events of last night and all the chaos that happened. Turning his head to the side he sees the upper class girls going about their P.E. class. A part of him still can't believe the level of insanity that transpired not even 24 hours ago. The part of him that does accept what happened understands that he is in way over his head, But he also knows that if he doesn't commit, then many innocent people will be dragged into a war of colossal proportions. Looking at his left hand to confirm the stigma that binds him to the war and to his new partner in this mess, only one thought crossed his mind

"I have to stop them."

* * *

-2 Months Ago-

Illyaviel von Einbern stood in the middle of the falling snow which she barely noticed as she stood staring at the carnage around her. One minute, she was surrounded by wolves with nothing but the instinctive desire to tear her to shreds and feed on her flesh, and then a bright light surrounded her. She knew that this was the light that would bring forth her servant Hercules, the most powerful servant, but then to her surprise and horror, instead of a giant hero capable of annihilating anything in its path, was a teenage girl wearing a sailor fuku, carrying a shovel.

With thoughts of disappointment and fear of impending death on her mind, she failed to notice the insane roar coming from the servant.

Lifting the entrenching tool up over her head she charged forward bringing down the shovel and smashing it on the wolves completely pulverizing them and leaving a massive crater in the ground. Quickly moving on to the remaining wolves she crushed, slashed, and impaled everything in sight that was not Illya.

The petite homunculus stood in shock over the display of raw violence, she knew that a Berserker would be brutal in a fight but the savage and crude method this servant fought in was far beyond what she had imagined. Looking over to see the deranged servant, Illya saw her just as she was burying the massacred beasts.

Berserker looking over at her Master, looked at her, and then tilted her head allowing her perfectly parted blood soaked hair to cover her dilated eyes revealing only her mad grin. As the two stared at each other, one thought of her coming revenge against the one who robbed of everything she cared for, the other cared only to kill to see red, to hear cries and to feel wet. Then breaking the silence between them, Berserker, in a voice that sounded like two people speaking through a broken megaphone, gritted out one word, "Master."

* * *

-2 Weeks Ago-

Luviagelita Edefelt was ecstatic for a many reasons.

First of all, for the last two years she's been in the same school slowly getting closer to her lovey (self-imagined Hunkalicious Bishounen) Shero (Shirou) Emiya.

Secondly, as one would expected of the next head of her family, her magecraft has exceled beyond what is expected of young magi her age, which was good for the last reason she was so happy.

The upcoming Holy Grail War.

With the red mark signifying my participation appearing on her hand only a day ago and from learning the details about the Grail Wars from her knowledgeable butler August, she wasted no time in preparing for the summon.

"Well, I don't have a catalyst to call any specific servant, but it's not like it a prerequisite. I'll just do the basic summoning spell, not like I can call any low class servant, unlike someone else I know." So with that bit of self-assurance she proceeded to the complicated circle of blood ahead of her and began the incantation. As she continued the spell, the room became flooded with light too bright. Closing her eyes but finishing the spell, Luvia pored all her available prana reserves into the circle.

Once the grandiose lightshow subsided Luvia carefully peeked through her shut eyes just in time to see a tall, black, muscular man dressed in leather, chainmail, and a cape. His lustrous black hair pulled back with the right side completely white, and on his forehead some kind of Egyptian crest in the shape of a snake. In his hand was a large, pale, gold staff. At one end, a shell shaped bulb and at the other end an oval shape with a purple crystal at it center. His very presence, from the way he carried himself to his cold expressionless stare spoke one thing, he was a True Warrior, a warrior who has seen and survived many cruel battles. He looked at me raising one eyebrow and in a strong, deep, but polite voice he asked "I am the Servant Lancer summoned for this Holy Grail War. I ask, are you my Master?"

* * *

-2 Weeks Ago, elsewhere at the same time-

Iori Mutou was confused and by confused she meant really really freaking lost beyond all reason. One week ago she was a normal high school girl without a care in the world, passing every day with her family and friends. Then _it _happened, she met her new big brother. After which she's been surrounded by halberd wielding revenge nut, brain washing psychos controlling armies of brain-dead zombies, and of course who can forget her brand new pickpocketing, giant scissor swinging, creepy, perverted, stalker big brother, Soushiki Zerozaki.

After his brief fight with Naguma Sawarabi and my (poorly thought out) decision to stop 'running away' I go with him, thinking I may have grown just a bit.

I soon came to regret my decision.

After several days of boarding and changing trains without any clue as to where we were going, I learn we were going to Kyoto to find his (our) little brother. Then at some train station, we were attacked by all things, ninjas! Yeah, real life shuriken throwing, wall climbing, and dart blowing ninjas. During the fight which Soushiki handles, I lose sight of him as he single handedly pushes them back with his pair of scissors. While trying to catch up to him, I get struck by a stray dart, fall in an empty cargo train, and pass out just as it takes off and then wind up in some city call Fuyuki City.

Of course it gets better once I get off, not.

Once I get off the station some giant of a man in come straight to me and in a creepy robotic voice asks "Are you a Zerozaki?" so obviously I run. I run until I think it is safe, but when I turn to check, not only is he still coming, he brought back up, all of them doing some weird wall formation synchronized running! It occurred to me then that they were more of the same kind of marionette that my family was turned into, which meant only one thing, they're going to keep chasing me till I got tired and caught.

As I ran Kengo, my real brother's words echo in my ear telling me "to stop running."

I know I should but I don't know how? Can I really face them? No, that's not correct, the mindless zombies chasing me are not what I am running from, I'm really running from is **_myself. _**The person that scares me the most is the monster that I could become, the bloodthirsty killer that sleeps just under the surface that is me. I know that I can take care of my chasers, but I'm worried about becoming like that perverted Soushiki san or like his (our) problematic younger brother, Hitoshiki Zerozaki.

I shouldn't be thinking about this now because otherwise I'll 'Crash!' trip. While running into a back ally like they do in the movies to try and lose them, I like some kind of clumsy school girl stupidly tripped over my own feet, land head first in a trash can leaning on the wall and then suddenly am surrounded by 11 very blank looking faces. "Kyaaaaa" I scream, I know no one will come but it was the only thing I could think of doing. As their hands start to reach for me as if in slow motion, I imagine my family, how caring they were and how cruelly they were killed. They couldn't even die as my family, they became some kind of disposable tool, just like them, just like them, just like them….."

JUST.

LIKE.

THEMMMM!"

I finally lash out, the only thing I can think of is how Naguma Killed my parents, Killed my sister Hatsubame, made me killed my best friend, Jion, Killed my brother, Kengo, they Killed everyone, everyone I KNEWWWW! Like an animal I jumped on my hands and feet and vault up in the air grabbing on to a protruding window ledge. I pull myself up like a chin up bar, build my strength then push off the ledge headed straight for the mook below me, my joined feet slamming directly at his face. I feel a crack underneath me, it feels like stepping on loose pebbles at a riverside, my blood surges with the impact like a massive syringe of epinephrine being shot into my heart, I start seeing red. They swarm on me from all sides as I land on the nimbly on the ground, my fury and bloodlust driving me to face them. I grab the trash can lid near my feet and toss it like a Frisbee at the inbound mook to my side "Clang", with that ringing sound he is popped off his feet and fall head first on the ground with a loud crack, the improvised projectile falling to the ground next to him. Leaping head first, I tighten my Right hand forming a knife hand, I throw my entire weight behind my thrust, but the mook is faster than me. It steps to my right side catching me by grabbing my extended elbow, I'm caught, I try to kick him but another slips below me restraining my legs.

The rest swarm on me to hold me down on the ground. I'm caught, I can't move, it's the end, they're going to kill me I know it. 'I'm nothing but a cutthroat Zerozaki after all.' As they stare lifelessly down on me. I see the two fallen mooks rise, their still alive, their faces looking like a Picasso painting, but still alive. This can't be it, I can still do more "I won't let you kill me, I'm not done, not by a longshot, I will keep living no matter what I need to DOOOO!"

!?

Suddenly a bright light blinds my eyes. A powerful burning sensation on my right hand draws me away from my battle cry. It hurt, it really burned, but what was it? A familiar sound pulls my attention from my hand just in time to see for the second time in a week body parts flying in all directions as some impossibly fast ….Whoosh? fly's by, dismembering all of the mooks on top of me. I get on my hand and knees just in time to see a heavy boot step in front of me. Looking around I see my attackers in pieces, which are pouring and spewing blood into a deep pool forming all around me. I'm not scared of my mysterious salvation but rather feel strangely excited over the gory scene forming around me.

I snap myself out of my creepily growing ecstasy and look up to see the tall, dark, bloodied form of my strange hero. Strange because despite it being something like -6° Celsius he was in a thin sleeveless black shirt, gray pants, and carrying two n shaped knives that hoop over his fist. On his shaved head was a pair very dark lens goggle obscuring his eyes which I could practically feel stabbing at me.

"Uh, thank you." I slowly stutter out before he offers me his hand which I take (Wait, where did those claws things go?) and pulls me up on my feet, "Seems I was a bit late for the party. I'm Assassin, and as I can figure 'he points at me, or my rather my hand' you are my Master." Oh God No, not another freak playing some weird, kinky, role playing game!

* * *

-11 days ago-

Walking down the street there are two girls walking around attracting a great deal of attention from the crowd around them. Wait, that's not correct, looking behind them one can see a poor young man dressed in clerical clothing, well not that you can tell with 15 bags and suitcases he was either barely carrying or slowly dragging along as he followed the girls.

Looking back on the girls ahead you can tell at a glance they were both exotic beauties, the first girl being in her late teens dressed in a nun habit with striking white hair that hung just past her shoulders and cold yellow eyes enjoying and praying for the plight of the abused escort behind them.

The young girl next to her, looking equally as eye-catching with her short blond hair, blue eyes and for some odd reason in -4°C weather with winds that felt even colder, a pure white strap sundress that stops like a miniskirt, reveling snow white skin which looked as if she had never seen a ray of light in her life, and strap sandals that patter lightly along as she walks beside her Master.

"I can feel it, others such as ourselves that are called to fulfill a wish are slowly being drawn together. Soon the Holy Grail War shall begin." the young blond girl spoke in a soft light tone.

Her paled haired companion replied "Then you should be more excited Caster, soon your wish, whatever it is, will come true. Until then we should pray for forgiveness for whatever sin our enemies may commit along the way." Folding her hands, Caren Hortensia prays to her Lord to forgive those that get in their way.

* * *

-One week ago-

"Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yessss, soon Rider I will show them! I will show them all my true strength! NO MORE will anybody dare look down on me as if I was nothing just because I was not born with Magical Circuits or any capacity to use magic, THAT RIGHT I WILL WINNN AH HAH HAH HAH HA!" As his _Master's_ continued his annoying and rather repetitive ramble about revenge, control and some disobedient girls, Rider leaned back on a black car, under the street light one can see an Illinois license plate with "I4Z 0892" on it.

Rider pondered how he got involved with such a useless _"Master"_ if only in name. Realizing that he was all but alone in this War, considering his inept _"Master," _he was going to have to planout how to not only how to supply himself with more sufficient amounts of prana, but also how he intended to fight the other Servants to end this as quickly and efficiently as possible.

While Shinji continued his pointless shouting, Rider wiped away the dripping blood around his mouth, after which the two stepped into the Charger then set off to dispose of the bodies wrapped up in plastic in the back trunk.

* * *

-3 Days Ago-

One glance and anyone could tell that Rin Tohsaka was not happy but purely pissed.

Normally she carried herself with grace and dignity, just as her Father would have wanted. But now she was practically ready to blow up with a hair-trigger.

"That drill-headed, scheming, egotistical, cheating, lying, spoiled, testosterone filled, condescending, big breasted bitch!"

Stamping around her Workshop, Rin has been screeching abusive words for the past few hours as she waited for midnight to arrive

"If that Edelfelt bitch thinks she got a strong Servant well then wait till** I** start flaunting **MY** Servant around like some kind of peacock with sky high plumage! Once my magic hits its zenith tonight I am going to summon the strongest servant the Holy Grail Wars have ever seen!"

With all the screeching and yelling she was doing, Rin completely ignored that tiny terrified voice of reason tugging at the back of her mind saying something was wrong.

But alas the moment of truth came, and one bright flash followed by a big and loud bang above her alerted Rin that something went wrong. Beginning with her losing her cool, to her forgetting that the clocks in her house were set to the wrong hour and ending with her summoning the Servant who practically invented the reason for the face palm.

Rin's personal Holy Grail Hell began.

Rin, standing and staring at her Servant first got the impression that she had summoned Saber, the strongest class, based on the broad sword on his back.

All her hopes were dashed when he spoke,

or rather sang

"Yeah, Servant Archer is here so all you other servant better watch out, you better not cry, you better look out I'm telling you why, cuz Team Blue & Red are making their list and checking it twice, we're gonna find ya gardless if you've been naughty or nice cuz Team Blue &Red are comin for Yaaaaa!"

While Archer did his rather silly song with even sillier dance Rin was frozen in place out of sheer terror, but not because her servant wasn't Saber and it wasn't because of what she felt was the beginning of a very long, long line of terrible corny jokes. No, her terror came from the fact that her servant was proudly standing in front of her, full frontal fully exposed. Rin guessed that the explosion literally blew him out of his wolf shaped helmet, blue armor, and the rest of his clothe but for some inexplicable reason left only his Chinese broad sword in it sheath on his back and his hair in a perfect short pony tail.

But she didn't care about that, not as she stared at him, her face redder than a freshly picked tomato.

Archer finally noticing her gawking stupidly at him, opened his mouth "Hey, what a pretty Master I got. I can imagine your shock to see such a dazzling, handsome Servant, but I am sorry to tell you I am already in a committed relationship with my sweet, sweet Susu. Oh, I miss you already."

Rin with a shaking hand pointed to the cause of her discomfort, and when Archer realized his nudity ran for cover, but not before tripping on practically everything between him and the smashed couch he landed on.

After an awkward minute, then two Archer poked his candy red head out "Um, sorry Master but could you pass me my clothe 'clapping his hands together' please." And like her Servant, Rin was begging too "Oh Root, how can this be I of all masters summone CLOWN for a Servant!" As his Master fell to her knees, passing out from the pure shock foaming at the mouth , Archer could only say one thing "Now come back Boomerang."

* * *

-1 Day Ago-

Shirou was late, and with the human equivalent of a ravenous wild tiger going in and out of his house, being late with food spelled disaster. "Fujinee is going to kill me for being late." It really couldn't be helped really though, his friend Shinji Matou asked him to help clean up the Archery Dojo for him.

"Clang, clang, Veem, Veem."

"Huh, what's that noise?" Stepping out around the corner to get a look at the source of the sound, though in retrospect I began realizing that was a bad idea. "What the?" Just as I saw two people fighting with flashing lights and swords, a ball of light flew towards him creating a cloud of smoke.

"Wah." Turning around and running into the school, Shirou tried to get away from what he felt was extreme danger. "This should at least buy me some time to figure out how to get away." My feet pounding the hallway with loud thuds trying to carry me away from what I knew was something way over my head.

Suddenly behind me I hear "I apologize for my cruel actions, but anonymity is most pertinent in our battles and we spare no witnesses." An electric buzz then "Veem" followed by a burning sensation on my back, I fall to the ground, pain flooding my body which all of a sudden grows colder, more distant, like I can reach it, just not grab it.

* * *

This was bad.

Ssomeone was still here and now Edelfelt's Servant is after them. Damn it, this whole Grail War was a mess for me. From losing her cool and summoning the King of clowns and fools, Archer, who absolutely will not tell me his name feigning amnesia due to the explosive summon, but then talks nonstop every chance he gets, physical form, spirit form, day, night, awake, even when I sleep! Damn, I swear I can hear him and his terrible jokes in my dreams!

The morning after Summoning Archer the first thing everyone noticed was my big, red forehead from face palming myself all night because of the botched Summon. Edelfelt especially enjoyed my new personal hell, and after 2 hours of arguing, we agreed to not fight just yet until some of the other Servants start appearing.

Of course not even 2 days later am I verbally ambushed by not just Servant Rider (who was kind of hot), but also his wormy little master Shinji who had the sheer gall to offer an alliance. I gave him the expected decline, but then when he wouldn't take no for an answer even trying to threaten to assult me and that _I_, the head of the Tohsaka family, belong to him, Yeah right, not even if the whole world lost all reason and order would I want to have anything to do with that egotistical, nauseating, little brat.

In response, I gave him an appropriate answer in the form of my shoe jammed up between his legs with all the force, skill and experience my Chinese kenpo allowed me. Sure I heard something pop, though it's not my problem. His Servant however remained uninteresting even as I possibly castrated his Master, he did nothing but watch, he was either a very patient or very apathetic character to watch even Shinji take that much abuse and do nothing.

After that incident I noticed Archer act a bit more cautious with how much he joked around.

I guess Shinji served some use after all, who'd of thought it.

The following morning I met with Edelfelt who also had a run in with Servant Assassin (with only brief confrontation between the two servants before Assassin fled) and figuring that with over half of the servants present it would be a good chance to settle our score that night.

Meeting on the sports field that night I couldn't wait to show that smug face who really was in control of this school.

As soon as the fighting started both she and I couldn't keep our surprise from showing on our face. Archer began by tossing a blue Boomerang at Luvia's giant of a Lancer, who swatted the spinning projectile away and then charged straight at Archer Firing some kind energy from the pale gold staff. Archer weaving in and out of the continuous fire drew his pitch black broad sword and began closing in on Lancer.

"Strange, I have never heard of an Archer who uses such weapons in combat. Indeed, are you truly an Archer? "

"Well who can say. According to my Master I fall under the Clown class rather than Archer. Hiya! Ya!" Within range Archer began slashing and stabbing at Lancer who parried all of his fast strikes.

They exchanged several volleys of sword striking, staff parrying, and counterattacking, Archer dodging, and then getting back in range to repeat the dance.

Lancer broke the cycle with a fast over head spin of his staff, followed by a wide arc from the blunt weapon, driving Archer back. Just in time for Lancer to block the returning Boomerang which unbelievably still flew back to its owner.

"Ah, Boomerang you always come back!" As Archer begins to coddle Boomerang, Luvia shouts to her lifelong rival.

"It seems that you found someone who not only understand you but seems to act like you too. You're perfect for each other so why don't you two run of and have a happy life together. Don't worry about Shero san I'll take good care of him." As she finishes her banter with a wink, Archer refutes her before Rin gets the chance to.

"Hey, Lancer's Master hate to disappoint you lovely ladies but this handsome devil is already taken, so sorry but no.

Beside I feel like I'm walking with death just by being around with her, I mean seriously what you did to that other Master, was that some kind of Tohsaka family field goal special like "Super Starlight Kick!" or was it an ability you were born with. No really that is not the kind you should do. I heard a pop, I literally heard a popping sound when you kicked him, it's not natural! A good kick from a girl can sometimes be used on creeps like him, but come on, something like **_that_** should _**never**_ be used on guy-kind, like ever!"

Even Lancer with his stoic demeanor slightly cringed upon hearing that. Archer seeing the reaction took the chance to charging at him with his sword in one hand and Boomerang in the other "Gouwwa!" Lancer immediately pointed his weapon and began firing again, while Archer avoiding the shots tossed his Boomerang at Lancer knocking the staff fire away from him. "hah! Take that Ahhh!" Just when Archer got in close with his sword, Lancer, his staff still reeling from the blow, twisted around and aimed using back end of the staff at Archer's head. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Archer fell on his back then rolled to avoid the heavy swing.

"Well seems that golden light stick of yours has more than one business end, huh." But Lancer wasn't their? "What the?" turning around Archer caught sight of Lancer chasing some kid into the school. "Hey, hey, I thought we were supposed to grow up from school not run back to it! Get back here!" Archer gave chase with the forgotten two masters following.

* * *

Lancer left with Luvia before she got to the scene sparing her from seeing the gory mess before Archer and Rin arrived. "Damn, I thought there wasn't anyone left here at this hour."

She let out another long sigh. "But it can't be helped, at the least I can is to relive your pain as you die."

She approached the body kneeling down to check the body, but turning the body around She paled. "No?!"

Seeing Shirou's face all her words got caught in her throat. "Why you?" Archer standing behind her asked "Someone you knew?" But the only reply he got was her pulling out a large jewel. "Hey hold on, you sure you want to do that, I mean with as stingy as you are is it really a good idea to use that Jewel?" But she already began her spell, and once she finished healing the boy and depleting her jewel, left with Archer complaining loudly behind her.

* * *

Luvia walked down the street with a displeased look on her face. "We still could have taken them." She repeated to her invisible partner.

"We were discovered by an outsider. It was logical to deal with the outsider then flee the scene before others came to search for him was it not?" Luvia let out another exasperated sigh "Yes, it's important to maintain secrecy, but that does not mean killing everyone who sees us. It _was_ only one person. We could have captured him and erased his memories, _without killing him_!"

"…Indeed, perhaps I acted rather rashly, I apologize Master."

"Well it too late now. We can leave it to Tohsaka to clean the mess, it _is_ her duty as the supervisor of this land after all." Suddenly Lancer straightens like a dog fixed on it pray while retaking his physical form.

"Master, it would appear as though the boy did in fact survive."

"What really, that's good. Now listen Lancer I want you to go check up on the boy. I'm sure someone like Tohsaka would have taken care of his memory making sure he won't remember, but just in case, go and make sure, it's the least you can do after all."

"Indeed it is."As Lancer began to leave, Luvia gave one last order. "Oh, and if he does remember to bring him back, don't kill him again." With that Lancer went to search for the boy he just killed.

* * *

"Man, I'm sore." Shirou complained again after getting home. "What happened? What was that light show? Some kind of afterschool show? Or maybe a gang brawl that got out of hand? No. it was definitely something Supernatural, not just some kids beating the hell out of each other for fun, not their at Homurahara. But then what, spirits? No, from the amount of damage they were doing meant that they were real and they were too powerful to be regular magi. So then who,

or better yet **_what_** were they?"

Walking through his house with a thousand thoughts in his head he barely notice that no one was home. "Sakura and Fujinee must have left, it is past midnight after all. Boy they are going to be mad in the morning. I Can't worry about that now, I should call the police..." "And tell them what? 'Ghosts are attacking Homurahara Gakuen.' yeah that'll go over well. I may have some friends in the police department, but they definitely will not believe him if he tells them that." Scratching the back of his head Shirou tried to think of a plan of action when he heard a voice.

"Indeed, it seems that you still do remember what had transpired at the human's Facility of Education, But do not worry, we shall take care of that."! Shirou spun around just in time to see the same killer giant behind him, in his hand a bluish metal snake that looked ready to take him out. Then the snake let out a cry followed by a flash of blue light aimed at him.

* * *

"Damn it Archer Why didn't you tell me sooner!"

As Archer and Rin ran through the night they both thought the same thing, 'Shirou/that kid is still in danger. Lancer was probably still after him trying to silence him.'

"Me? I thought you already knew that when you brought him back to life! And another thing why do you know where this guy lives?! Wait don't tell me, yes that's it isn't it, you 'bang bang bang' Ahhh! Stop shooting me I'm you partner remenberrrr?! Kyaaa!?" The rest of the way was filled with the sound of rapid shooting and girly screams.

* * *

"Ahhhh what the hell is going on?!"

After avoiding the killer giants first shot Shirou found himself running through his house in some twisted version of laser tag. Three more flashy shots flying past his head and hitting the TV causing it to spark, and then exploded in a fortunate puff of smoke.

Using the improvised smokescreen, Shirou took the chance to run out the house, heading to the nearest exit, which happened to be the backyard when he spotted an umbrella leaning on the wall (must be Fujinee's). Grabbing the impromptu weapon he jumped out the screen door avoiding more flash shots, making an ungraceful landing on his hands and knees. Turning back he still saw his violent visitor pointing that damn hand snake. A shot was fired at him still on the ground, instinctively he brought up the umbrella in his hand to intercept the flash, which to his surprise protected him! Getting back on his feet, because he wasn't going to be caught lying down against someone who attacked him out of nowhere twice, he blocked several more shots from the mysterious giant shooting him with 'is that some kind of phaser?' Then the giant spoke.

"Come with me if you want to live!"

"Wa?" was the only sound Shirou got out before Lancer started shooting again. Blocking the shots with the umbrella, Shirou found himself on the defensive with his hands growing numb from the impacts. His defense didn't last long once Lancer quickly moved in front of Shirou and delivered a powerful kick which sent him flying into the tool shed.

"You have good skills, well refined reflexes and from what I can sense, a small amount of magic. Indeed, perhaps you are meant to be the next Master."

'Master what? Wait, He knows of magic...'

'Well of course he knows magic who the hell else would fight like that! Aliens?!' As that realization and the pain of being kick finally dawn on him, Shirou begins to blackout.

Lancer slowly walks over to recover the boy and bring him back to his Master, the kick he delivered should be painful enough to prevent any more resistance. He'll knock the boy out to prevent any more struggles on the way back His Master can choose what will happen to the budding magus when he returns. But before he can enter the shed he is distracted by a loud crashing sound that came from inside.

* * *

How could this happen?

His head was fuzzy.

How did an ordinary day turn in to a fight for my life?

His body was still ringing from the kick he received.

I'm not ready to die, not when he has so much to do, people to save! I can't die, not before I've protected other, Sakura, Fujinee, my friends at school and work. I need to protect them, just like Dad did!

"Just like a real HERO!"

With that shout, the room suddenly flooded with a light like the one that over the last two months heralded the coming of legends.

It crashed into the shed with flashing lights and a loud warning alarm blaring in protest, it's wheels bent underneath it, the black hood depressed with the falling debris from the damaged roof of the shed. Despite being covered in dust, its plates still read KAZ 2Y5. 'Great what else can happen?' Shirou thinks as he regains consciousness due to the loud crash going so close to his head. ' First psychoses playing knight, then getting killed, coming back to life, and oh yeah being attacked by my killer _again,_ and now a car flying through my roof!?'

The driver side door soon opens and stepping out of the wreck a man in his late-20s, dressed in a beat-up old leather coat, turns to me, points and says "I assume your my Master, cuz Saber is ready to **GANK SOME FREAKS!"**

* * *

Gilgamesh sat in the pews of the Kotomine Church with a glass of wine resting in his hand. He was disappointed that his Saber had not appeared. However over the course of the last two months a new Jewel of worth has appeared, something he intended to make his, no, that he intended to reclaim, after all everything of value in this world belongs to it one and only King.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note

I should have mentioned this in the last chapter but the girl who is Assassins master, Iori Mutou is from the manga Zerozaki Soushiki's Humanity Test by Nishio Ishin (the same guy who made Bakemonogatari and Madaka Box).

Disclaimer I do not own Fate Stay Night, Fate Hollow Ataraxia, Zerozaki Soushiki's Humanity Test, or any of the servants.

Chapter 2: To Wait

Dad always said to be patient. As a Hunter, me and my brother have done many jobs were patients was necessary. From having to wait in the Impala for several days to knowing the right cards to play when gambling, you learned to keep your cool.

I can admit that I have lost my head in certain rare cases, but hey who hasn't, right. So facing the crushing reality that was the wreckage of my beloved Impala, naturally like many others I have only one response. "**SON OF A BITCH!**"

Shirou Could only sit and stare at the new stranger before him. "No, no, no! Hang on Baby I'll get you fixed up so don't worry. Gah! Son of a bitch!"

Well at least compared to the rest of the night he isn't trying to kill me. "I'm going to kill whoever did this!"

Well at least not yet. But then something tore his attention from the mashed car and before Shirou knew it he was being carried away behind the car just before yellow flashes flew past their heads. Impacts started slamming into the car leaving holes and scorch marks.

"Ah, you son of a bitch I'm warning you I'll tear you limb from limb if you keep that up." Saber roared, and then the shooting stopped?! Saber turned to me and said "Wow that a first, someone who actually stops shooting when you ask."

Outside the big guy shouts at us, "Unknown servant, I am Lancer and my purpose here is to recover the boy. If you are his servant than both of you come forth so we may do battle in earnest! If however you hold no relation then I command you to hand over the boy and leave this area at once!"

Saber again turned to me again then asked "It a little late to ask but _are_ you my master? Cause if you are, then I wanna know what you want to do about Mr. Flash stick over there." Pointing at my hand we both see some kind of mark tattooed on my left hand that looked like a sword with wings for the hilt. "When did that get their?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

I've had it, standing up I walk around the immobile automobile, out the shed and stand before Lancer. Saber rushes to me and with a face that all but said I was an idiot and yelled "Are you crazy he's gonna!? Damn!" turning to face Lancer, he tried to put on a composed and threatening look, but failed looking more like he was squinting so he can see the picture in a 3D image.

"So we do battle then." Lancer prepared his staff. Saber drawing from his leather coat a double barrel shotgun and a bowie knife stood ready to fight "Come get us you giant son of a bitch!"

"Stop!" I shout, and then both of them stare at me. "Please, just tell me what it you want." Standing their looking at Shirou then looking at each other, Saber and Lancer stood there waiting for the other to make a move.

* * *

"You idiot I can't believe you got me lost!" While his Master continued to yell at him for problems that are obviously not his fault, Archer continued to retort back. "Well excuse me for just pointing out the obvious, but seriously if you don't know the way then you should just say so. No reason to just keep running around like picken, fuh."

Rin began pointing her finger again, Archer putting up his hand "Ok, ok, how about we get to your little crushes house before it's too late, huh does that sound like a plan." Rin putting away her finger only nodded as they turned around and headed to the Emiya house. "What's a picken?"

* * *

Well after one mess followed by another we three, we happy three, we band of brothers continue peacefully down the street, not.

First I am not happy, secondly it not three but four we just can't see Assassin since he went ghost or something.

Lastly for reasons I do not care to answer we aren't even close to walking down the street since we were in a car, that Soushiki found, which Assassin broke into and hotwired to start, and which is now being driven by my new little (or big) brother Hitoshiki Zerozaki at over 90 miles an hour weaving between other cars because 'it was cool'. Well at least we were brothers, or at least two brothers, one sister, and some kind of spirit.

After being saved by Assassin from the marionettes, Soushiki and Hitoshiki decide that moment to find me and misunderstand the situation. Believing the Assassin was trying to kill me, they attacked him.

With Soushiki slashing at Assassin with his scissors and Hitoshiki using two knives to try and stab him, Assassin stepped back on the trash can lid by his feet knocking it up and catching it like a skateboard blocked the incoming attacks. After blocking several strikes, the three jump away from each other, Soushiki by the opening of the alley, Hitoshiki somehow hanging onto the wall with his knives, and Assassin jumping next to me while dropping the Swiss cheese lid.

Soushiki was the first to talk "I must say I certainly never expected to meet a killer of you caliber in this rather peaceful city, tell me what is your name?"

"Who cares about his name Sou onii, let's just kill him and get it out of the way, after all he did threaten our new sister right?"

"True, but as I've tried to tell you over and over, when you kill you should always show a certain level of respect."

"Che, you and those test of yours really are pointless, and like _I_ say 'Just kill'."

Assassin seeming like he had enough interrupted them. "You know, as fascinating as your debate on the philosophy between killers and murders is, I'm sure our creepy guest above us would care for something, hmm, a bit more bloody."

At that we all look up to see a figure staring down at us then jump down landing away from us. "Well look at this 1, 2, 3, 4, Zerozaki's here just ready for me to take your heads."

At that we all stare at Assassin in shock. Him a Zerozaki no way, no wait maybe it just like me, after all it not like were related by blood but rather by bloodshed. He must have the disposition, the disposition to kill.

The new arrival continued "I must say while I am curious as to why you all…"

"Die"

The three of them immediately charge the ranting Idiot, poor fool he never stood a chance. So as I stood watching Soushiki tear into him with giant scissors, Hitoshiki's stab with numerous knives, and Assassin ramming him with the open end of the trash can severing his chest from the rest of his body.

So as we stood there, blood everywhere and some guys mutilated chest in a can, the rest of him scattered around (except his head which Hitoshiki was tossing around) Soushiki broke the silence. "Since it seems you were protecting my little sister from that hitman rather than harming her, I think we can sit and listen to why your here."

After a long discussion of magic, Epic Heroes, the Holy Grail Wars, and wishes, and 2 weeks later we find ourselves here in this car. "I got to say this is some car, you sure got great taste Sou." Assassin commented becoming visible in the backseat next to me.

"Yes, though I'm more surprised at this car, a foreign car like this just lying around, got to say, some find. Whoever the owner was sure had great taste." Soushiki said

Hitoshiki replied "Yeah, totally, to find a 2006 SRT Dodge Charger here of all places, major score." 'But we stole it!'

* * *

Rin swore under her breath staring at the scene around her. Scorch marks and a large hole in the roof of the shed made it looked like a battlefield. This is bad, Shirou was gone. "Lancer must have gotten here first. He's dead."

Falling to her knees, Rin couldn't get her thoughts straight. 'Why did this happen. Why him, why did he have to get dragged into this this mess, damn it!'

"He's not dead." Archer said.

"What!?" Rin shouted barely holding back her tears. "Master, look around do you see a body, or any blood for that matter?" Rin looked around. 'Hey, yeah where's the body. Other than some damage to the area there was no sign that Shirou was involved. ' "If you remember back at the school when Lancer first killed the kid, there was a lot of blood from the hole on his back when he got shot."

Getting back on her feet, she noticed Archer going around looking with calm and calculating eyes as opposed to his usual goofy attitude. "But now there is no sign that the kid got hit by his attack. No blood or a body."

They walked into the house, and I asked "He could have taken the body with him." Archer still looking around walked down the hall. "No, I don't think so. If he had the time to take the body, then he would have taken steps to clean up some of the mess he made chasing him down, like maybe burning down the house."

Stopping at the doorway to the living room, Archer continued "It started in here, some kind of electric shots were fired, 'he took a shooting pose aiming at wall the shattered TV laid.' but missed and hit this television set causing it to explode. Take a wiff, you smell that, it's smoke. The kid probably used the smoke and sparks from the small explosion as cover to run down this hall."

We walked down the hall when I notice a hole in the screen door ahead. "As he ran he must have grabbed an umbrella here, 'Pointing to the wall' then kept running till he reached this screen door and jumped thru."

I finally had to speak out. "There no way you can tell that there was an umbrella here, or that he picked one up while he ran."

Suddenly he put something on my head. It was a greenish cap with a revolving glass that seemed to extend forward, pulling the glass in front of my eye, he pointed at a part of the wall. "If you look here with this magnifying glass you should see small drag marks on the ground."

I kneel down and like he said there were really small scratches on the floor that look like they were made by a dull tip being dragged. "Master don't forget I'm Archer nothing gets past me. 'he pulled out a large dragon pipe and began blowing bubbles.' The umbrella is outside really banged up, he must have started to put up a fight then and there and managed for a bit, but soon got overwhelmed and was struck hard enough to blast him thru the doors of the shed, after which I can't tell exactly what happened but from the looks of it, that black car in the shed dropped in thru the roof."

Dropped in thru the roof? "Uh, I'm sorry, but why do you say that?"

Squeezing into the blocked shed Archer pointed around the wheels of the car "See how the wheels are bent like that, the only way it could happen is either a heavy weight on top or a high fall. If it was a heavy weight, the roof of the car would be depressed. Also see all this debris underneath the car, it's from the roof. If the hole had been blown with the car already inside then a lot of it would be on the roof not underneath. Also judging from the size of the hole, it would fit the size of the car perfectly if it came from above." Archer then sat down leaning on the car. "While I don't know why a car came in thru the roof, unless the driver got lost looking for a better parking space?… Right 'He said with a dejected look'. Well what I do know is that he and someone else took cover behind this car while they took heavy fire, and from the looks of these marks, it was Lancers weapon."

"How do you know there was someone else?" Glancing to his side he answered "Because there are two smudges on the side of the dusty car, one is from Shirou who has a small back, and another from someone who is bigger with a broader back."

Stepping out of the shed Archer continued "At some point the two hiding behind the car slipped away and are now somewhere out there, either still being chased by a psycho with a laser stick or caught going who knows where."

That last comment was the last bit of motivation she needed.

"Ahhhhhh! That's it, Archer get ready. We're storming Edefelt's mansion and forcing her to call off her attack dog." Watching her run off Archer could only chase after her. "Though I'm more worried about whose servant came in the flying car? And what was that sound I heard in the shed?"

* * *

In a modest hotel in the middle of Fuyuki City, Caren Hortensia finished her daily prayers. Picking herself up, she steps up and closed in on her silent roommate. Caster was sitting at the dining table drawing again in her sketch book.

Looking around dozens of similar sized removed pages littered the top of the table and the walls around her. A variety of pictures were drawn on each of them ranging from a single person to savage images that almost looked like hell plaster itself onto the page.

"Master, the next Servant, Saber has been summoned."

"Good, all this waiting around was beginning to try my patients. So Caster, what is this one's identity?" Passing her several hand drawn pictures, Caren began to look over them to see if anything looked familiar. So far she's looked at what seemed a hundred pictures all showing stranger and more confusing images she had never seen before.

Images such as Pyramids with unusual birds flying around in pitch darkness, and a classroom filled with girls sharing the same but different faces. It appeared these pictures were no different, a picture of two men drinking sitting on a black car was not very helpful. Looking around, she recalled some of the other strange pictures she had of the other servants.

One was of a large wild looking man with beautiful silver colored eyes being hunted across a frozen wasteland. Another was of a tall man with no eyes at all ruthlessly stabbing into the mangled body of some unknown monster. She wondered if the servants summoned really were heroes, it was hard to tell from what she was seeing.

The image she was first shown of Archer was the weirdest. They were of a teen boy? with a ponytail lying on his/her stomach and no pants, surrounded by candles holding a rose in between his teeth. What was just as strange is that they were two completely different pictures of Archer. The other was of a regal looking man with red eyes clad in glorious gold armor, his arms crossed over his chest with a wall of swords behind him.

For some reason, she calmed down when she saw that the master of the gold Archer was a priest with nothing but black covering his heart like a parasite, 'Obviously my father but still is troubling to know.'

The other Masters were all girls ranging from prideful and flamboyant to lonely and disturbed.

Caster refused to draw a picture of herself 'Perhaps she's just shy.' Leaving the newly summoned Saber and his Master.

Looking at the new picture Caster just handed her of Saber she expected to see a knight from a story book or a king in royal colors, seeing the truth she almost couldn't help but do a double take to check.

Indeed nothing like she expected. Rather than someone with a noble visage she saw dirty looking (but handsome) grease monkey hunched over tinkering with the engine of some piece-of-crap car.

Putting the Saber picture down Caren asked "Caster is this correct?" she blankly responded "Yes. I also have the Master drawn, if you wish to see." Placing a picture of a red haired (and also handsome) teen with honest looking eye. She noted that he was tinkering with an air condition like his Servant. "What is this, team mechanic?" Caster tilted her head and stared at Caren. After a while she replied "You recall that Masters tend to summon heroes similar to them, especially if they do not use a catalyst."

As Caren thought of this, she began to wonder how Caster and she were similar?

Putting that thought aside she began to think, Even with so many clues given she was completely incapable of discerning the identities of any servants even her own. At most she could figure the ethnicity or era of three servants. Archer wore Chinese clothing and sword, Lancer appeared to be from ancient Egypt based on the symbol on his forehead, and Assassin appeared to be a barbarian from medieval Europe. This War has barely begun and already it promised to be a carnival of events filled with the strange and the exciting.

"I guess we'll wait and see what happens."

* * *

I can't believe that happened. It was right here and I remember precisely.

It.

Was.

Right.

Here.

Normally when someone has their car stolen they panic, they bawl, but most of all they get mad. Naturally I do none of the above, after all how can I when I'm missing a few _important pieces_.

I can't say the same for my _Master_ who is yelling and cursing at me for me being a useless servant who can't match up to his supposed grand level. Damn it, this would be so much easier if my original Master had decided to keep to her responsibility's, but whatever he had more pressing issues to contend with than some kids squeamishness.

One being that he can't seem to call back his Noble Phantasm.

The Charger, containing most of my weapons and tools, Noble Phantasm or not, should have return to me when I call, but it doesn't. Without it, I can't bring out a majority of my equipment in the trunk. That leaves me with Rubys' knife, my Taurus 9mm with one extra clips of silver, holy water blessed, iron tipped hollow-point ammunition, a silver pocket knife, and my Iron Claw blade (which I can't remember the last time I ever used).

All in all, useless. Unless I used one of my true Noble Phantasms (which I couldn't because of this useless, powerless _Master_), I was screwed. While most of my equipment can harm a Servant. I would need access to the rest of my weapons when confronting more than one Servant.

For the time being I should shut the idiot up before he draws any unwanted attention and find a place to lay low while searching for the Charger. Regardless, I've got a good starting point. First the Charger is a rare foreign model, here in Japan it will stick out in a crowd.

Secondly the car was a Noble Phantasm, meaning that the only people capable of taking it were either a powerful magus with magic capable of breaking or severing contracts, or a Servant with some kind of plunder ability. Otherwise the car would have returned to him with the bastard inside.

At present neither option was very appealing. Best case scenario he finds the car and kills whatever brainless magus thought they could get away with his car. Worst case, it was in the hands of an enemy Servant, which meant he would have to go under armed and unprepared to fight and get it back.

"Damn it you worthless piece of shit Servant, you better find that car! I am not walking anywhere unless it's in that car! Hey are you listening to me, hey Rider!" "Shut up. We better get moving, _Master_."

* * *

More Authors notes

Just to clear up some things in this chapter. First there is a picken, obviously it fictional from the show. Secondly about Riders weapons, they are canon except for the bullets, I just made them up, they have a point but I will explain that later. Lastly starting next chapter I will be posting servant stats minus certain spoiler Noble Phantasms at the end.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Lost in Translation

Shirou was still confused but at least things were finally slowing down enough that he had time to think.

Back at his house when Lancer and Saber were facing off and it became clear that neither of them was going to attack the other. Lancer recommended seeing his Master to help clear up the confusion I had about the whole situation.

I agreed but Saber didn't.

He thought it was too dangerous to go to the base of an enemy, that it might be a trap or something. After convincing him that there was no need for them to set a trap if he came to kill me here, he reluctantly agreed to go, but not before recommending I take a weapon just in case. I obviously declined at first but his persistence forced me to compromise into taking a small knife he gave me which he said was made of iron.

After following Lancer for several blocks we arrive at the gate of a mansion. We were greeted by an old gentleman in a butler uniform who brought us inside and had us wait in the living room.

I was stunned to see that owner of the large western house was none other than Luvia Edelfelt, one of the star students at Homurahara Gakuen.

Upon seeing me with Lancer she presented a strange mixture of glee, dread, and urgency I had never seen her show at school before. Saber, upon seeing both the mansion and then Luvia practically had dollar signs popping out of his eyes.

Luvia immediately took Lancer away saying she'd be right back which left me with Saber who was already reclined on a sofa.

"I wonder what that was about." I ask.

Saber sitting up turns to me with a serious face replies "Don't know. But anyway I think we have some more important things to discuss right now."

He was right. With the way this night was, I had to start playing catch-up on the situation with Masters and Servants that was happening. "Ok then, where do we begin?" I ask him.

"First. Do you know that chick?" He begins.

"Yes, I know her from school." I respond to his question. "Why?"

He points his finger at me then to the direction where Luvia took Lancer. "Marry her." He said

"…. W-Wha?"

Ok out of everything he could have possibly said, that was something I never expected.

"Marry her." He said again.

"H-hold on. Aren't you going to talk about what just happened? Y-you know, with the light sticks and and and the Servants and the the t-trying to kill me part, huh? What about all that?!" I splutter out.

"Which is why I am saying to marry her. It will solve all your problems and then some." He casually says.

"HOW?!" Saber put his hands up defensively "Just listen for a sec. If you get hitched then you will be partners in this fight and that will make it that much easier to win. Right?"

"Win what?! You still haven't explained anything!" I glare at Saber "This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that she's rich would it?"

He casually reclines back in the sofa "Wha, Ptfff yeah right. What I'm saying is to form an alliance with her and her Servant. Yeah, me in it for the money what gave you that idea?"

Soon the same man that greeted us by the gate came in with a tray of snacks and tea. "I apologize of the interruption and the wait, but the mistress had some important matters to discuss with Her Servant."

I tried to be polite "No it's no problem sir. I'm sorry for the being an inconvenience." Saying that I look over at Saber who was already diving into the snacks. "Oh man, this is amazing. What is this?"

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Do not worry Emiya dono, it is no trouble at all. And you do not need to refer to me as sir, you may address me August."

"Sure, but could you not refer to me so formally. It's kinda awkward, Shirou 's just fine."

"Certainly." After which he bowed and left.

"Can I call you Shirou too?" Saber asked with a mouth full of pastries.

I collapse into a couch and with a sigh reply "Sure."

As I waited with Saber who was gorging himself on the pastries, I was wondering what was taking so long. 'What are those two talking about I wonder? It's been like 15 minutes.' Just as I thought that Luvia came back with Lancer, who now wore a similar uniform like August.

"Sorry for the wait." She said first. "I had a few things to discuss with my Servant. From what he told me you don't know what is happening, right?"

With everyone's attention on me I just nod. "I thought so. Ah this really is a problem. Oh right, I almost forgot to ask but Lancer told me that he detected magical traces from both you and your house, that means you know Magecraft right?" She asked me really fast not even trying to hide her excitement.

"Yes I do know, but I'd say I'm really just a third rate mage. I barley have any ability to use magic." I reply.

"Wow I can't believe I never noticed. I guess that's the reason you were so experienced when it came to the incident at our school two years ago when I arrived, right?"

Recalling the incident I couldn't help but start to get nervous and proud at the same time. "No, like I said I'm a failure as a Magus, but you are right that I do have experience with death."

Saying that really got everyone's attention and with Saber and Luvia closing in on me, however I felt there were more important things to talk about rather than my past. "Sorry, but can we leave it at that for now. I really want to know about what happened at school. With Lancer and the fighting."

Luvia's expression hardened a bit "Right, seeing as how your both a Magus and a Master you have the right to know what you are now involved in." The atmosphere in the room suddenly felt more serious.

"First, as you probably have figured I am also a Mage. Fuyuki City is currently in the middle of a supernatural tournament known as the Holy Grail War. Seven Servants are summoned to fight with their Master and win possession of the Holy Grail."

"Wait the Holy Grail, like the one from stories and legend?"

She shook her head "I doubt it the original Grail from legend, but it can be confirmed by the presence of our Servants here who are Heroic Spirits from the past such as kings, knights, and warriors, that it is an object of great power. It is said that the winner of the War is allowed one omnipotent wish from the Grail."

Whoa, this was unreal. Holy Grail, Heroic Spirits, a wish. It's sounding more and more like a dream, but it wasn't and I didn't have time to think of useless things like that.

I look over at Saber who has been listening and watching as our host talked. He was a hero? It been my dream to be a superhero but looking at the reality of a real hero was weird. It excited me to see a real hero, but confused me to wonder how this guy was a hero? He really didn't look or act like one.

I brought my attention back to Luvia and asked. "You said it was a tournament, why is that?"

"It is because the Seven teams of Servants and Masters have to fight and kill each other to gain possession of the Grail."

"What!? Kill? Are you serious? You're going to kill people?" I ask. She shook her head.

"No not if I can help it. Please don't misunderstand this but for any Magi, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to measure their skill and prove their worth as a Magus. I'm not saying that I won't kill someone if I need to but consider this. What if the Grail falls into the hands of someone who would use it for destruction?" she explains.

"So you're trying to prevent that?" I ask

"That's just a part of my reason. I do want to prevent any kind of tragedy. I do also seek the recognition one gets for being the winner, but only to strengthen my family's name. I myself have no wish for the Grail."

"But still."

We remained silent for a while. Soon Saber had enough and had to speak up. "You know, I can imagine how you feel about this kid. I know, Sounds like Crap right. Kill others just for a stupid wish, you'd have to be a real monster to enjoy this, but I don't think that's what the girl here is trying to say. You heard her she's got to stop any malicious ass from getting their hands on it."

Lancer also spoke. "Indeed, we do not fight for any evil reason but there are reasons that we do fight that are important to us. You yourself appear to have a reason as to why you wield power."

He's right I do have my own goal that I fight to achieve.

I look over at Luvia. "I know that this is hard to accept but I hope you understand that I am not fighting for the pleasure of it, but for my obligation as someone chosen. However I can't say there isn't something personal I hope to resolve before this is over."

At that last comment Luvia face took a deadlier look, around her an aura of sheer malice seethed from her, her hair beginning to rise maliciously and her eyes flashed with a demonic red.

I jump in my seat sensing her darkening aura. It seemed that I wasn't the only one that sensed her murderous intent caused Saber and Lancer start scooting away from her.

"Shirou, she's turning. Do something." Saber whispered over to me as he takes cover behind the sofa.

"No way. You're the hero, you do something." I know I'm borderline suicidal but If I have learned anything from practically living with Fuji nee is that when women are like this, then the only logical course of action is to give them what they want or stay the hell away.

"You're her hus-, I mean friend, you do something." Ignoring what Saber was going to say we both turn to Lancer who has taken cover by the doorway. We signal him to do something but he just shakes his head.

Ok, this is pathetic, we got two Heroic Spirits and a hero wannabe and none of us wants to go near Luvia. Hah, I guess if anyone's going to do anything questionable, it may as well be me.

I slowly step up from behind my sole protection and crawl over to Luvia who hasn't realized the level of murderous intent she is was releasing or the disturbing laugh she was doing. "Ah, Edelfelt San?"

Noticing me she sends a sharp glare at me which feels like a sword being thrust into my face and I fall flat on my butt. When she notices that it's me her demeanor lightens. "Ah Emiya san is something the matter? Why are you sitting there?"

I could hear Saber snickering behind me.

"Nothing, just trying to get comfortable." I replied lamely.

She giggled at that and soon Luvia reached out her hand to help me up. "Thanks."

"It's no problem, but if you do want a place more comfortable then I'm sure we could find someplace more appropriate."

I could feel the encouraging thumbs up Saber was beaming to me.

"No, it's all right. I should be getting back home."

Just as I say that I feel something like a ringing in my head.

"Uh, what is that?" I ask.

Lancer responded. "Master, two intruders have rushed onto the premise and one is a Servant." At that the four of us head out to the main entrance.

* * *

Rin raced over to the Edelfelt Mansion with Archer just behind her. 'Damn it, that Edelfelt bitch isn't getting away with it this time!'

We soon arrived at the mansion. When I pointed out the target Archer rushed ahead of me and began his attack.

Drawing his sword he slashes thru the gate and in a diving roll lands in the middle of the yard. "Cheya. Lancer hope you're ready for round 2 cause I'm bringing my S game!"

Archer stayed there for a while, when I drew closer, he looked at me "Maybe they're not home?" He asked.

Then the sound of running drew us to the door. "Archer, get ready." The two of us assumed a back-to-back fighting stance but when the door swung open I was surprised to see not only Shirou but someone else next to him.

"Yeah, thought so. Another Servant." Archer said low enough that I could just hear. "What do you mean 'you thought so'?" I demanded. "Ugh, never mind that Archer, you can worry about it later, we got something more important now."

Focusing back on the four standing by the doorway Luvia spoke up. "Rin, I knew you were rude but to come over in such a violent manner, it can only mean I was right and you were raised by gorillas."

"Shut it Edelfelt. What did you do to Emiya kun, and whose Servant is that?" I yelled back.

"You come here like a mad dog and expect me to answer you? Perhaps I should teach you some manners." She calmly replied.

At that we start pointing our index fingers readying our respective Gandr's at each other.

"Um Tohsaka san what are you doing here?" Shirou asks obviously confused by my presence here.

"Well Shirou from the looks of it she's also a Master, that is her Servant next to her and I'm sure she's attacking us, or at least her." The stranger replies while pointing at Luvia. "Ok Saber, I get that but why?" Shirou asks.

"Eh" Saber just shrugs at the question.

Shirou then runs in between our line of fire. "Ok I not sure what is going on but I'm sure we can talk this out. I mean were friends here right?"

"Wrong!" The two of us yell in tandem.

"We may as well finish what we started at the school, huh Edelfelt." I declares with a fierce smile on my face.

"For once we agree, Tohsaka." Luvia responds with the same savage grin.

Shirou looks over at the three Servants present who each were slowly backing away from us. "Come on someone help me stop them." All three shake their heads. "Really?"

"Shirou maybe you should get out of there." Saber suggests. "Shirou Emiya it may not be wise to stand there." Lancer advises. "Yeah kid you better get out of their before my Master goes all kung fu fighting on your balls." Archer warns.

"She wouldn't." Saber asks. "Indeed Rin Tohsaka would." Lancer answers. "Dude I saw it. She kicked that guy so hard _I_ saw stars watching it." Archer exclaimed with a shuddered.

"Ohh." Saber winced while Lancer just lowered his head. "Yeah. I'm sure she flattened them!" Archer continued.

"Ugh, the horror." Saber exclaimed. "Truly sadistic indeed." Lancer says. "Well at least you don't have to live with her!" Archer complains.

"Aw man, genuine ball-breaker." Saber exclaims. "You have my condolences Archer." Lancer says.

Finally having heard enough, I lash out "THAT'S IT! Will you guys leave your junk out of this!"

Aiming my finger back at Luvia I prepares to fire, but Archer then grabbed me by the back of my shirt and pulled me away. Lancer quickly picks up his Master and moves away while Saber also drags Shirou away.

I was first confused but soon was shocked to see a dozen knives sticking out of the spot I just was at, as well as where Shirou and Luvia just stood.

"Wha!" Shirou begins to say but as we all turn to see where the knives came from, I was shocked to see two young girls standing next to the destroyed gate. "Konbanwa, Onii chan."

* * *

Saber stood defensively in front of his Master.

'Not that it would make much difference, from what I've seen of my new Master, Shirou would probably just jump in front of next attack.'

Looking at the new comers I see two young girls next to what was left of the gate.

The first was a small girl about ten years old with pure white hair and red eyes, dressed in a purple coat with matching boots and cap.

The girl next to her was older; maybe 15 or 16 with her hair split perfectly down the middle with no lose strands, (Wow that prefect. How'd she do that?) dressed in an old Japanese schoolgirl uniform.

There was something creepy about both of them, something unnatural. It was like when the popular kids go over to the geek table for lunch and if they didn't tell them exactly what they expected to hear, they were going to get laughed at or worse.

"_What the fuck do you what_?" [Good evening?]Shirou replied.

Everyone looked over at Shirou in shock myself included. Did he really just say that? I know I haven't known Shirou for long, but from what I've seen of him he doesn't seem the type to snap at girls he just met like that.

"Well, you are everything I expected and more Onii chan." The littlest girl said drawing our attention to her. "But really to think you were really this crude, Tch tch tch 'Waving her index finger like she was scolding a child' that won't do."

"_Yeah and what the fuck is some nameless midget gonna do about it, huh?_" [_Who are you? You're not just some little girl are you?]_ Rin demanded.

The hell is up with everyone, two new people show up and they start freaking out?

"How rude, it's no wonder Onii chan is such a brute with barbaric friends such as you. 'Rin flinched being called barbaric.' Nevertheless I should introduce myself."

The girl bowed with a curtsy as she began her introduction. "I am Illyasviel von Einzbern . you can call me Illya, and I am the Master of Berserker."

I'm not surprised that they're Master and Servant since we just dodged about 20 knives, but Berserker!? That school girl, yeah right. There's no way a little, frail princess like her can sustain enough prana to keep a Berserker class Servant under her control. Berserkers are notorious for their heavy prana consumption. Not only that but look at her, the schoolgirl looks like they're made of sticks. The typical Berserker looks more, well you know like Spartacus, Rambo or Arnold Schwarzenegger, not some teenage girl. Does that mean it's a trap? Is she really a Caster or Assassin trying to psych us out or maybe they're a distraction to the real attack?

Looking at the others they're also having doubts as well. Guess we'll find out soon enough.

"Einzbern!?"

Sound like someone's heard the little girl's name before. Looking at the source of the voice I see the girl in red, Rin, looking at Illya in shock.

"_Friend of yours?_"[Sound familiar?] I ask.

She looks at me then says "_Yeah right, we have tea parties allll the time. The hell do you think you retard! She's an Einzbern, one of the founding families of the Holy Grail War._" [No, she's not a friend. But if she is an Einzbern then that makes her a part of the founding families of the Holy Grail War like my family.]

"_Wow, having your period, eh Master?_" [What's got you more wound up then usual Master?] Archer asked.

"_Give a rest you bastard of a Servant. Now leave my god damn beautiful ass out of this!_" [Shut up!] Rin snapped at Archer.

Shirou stepped up between them like usual. "_Fucking save it for the bedroom._" [Come on everyone, just calm down.] Shirou said.

"_WHAT!_" [WHAT!] Rin and Archer Screeched. "_What kind of homo loser would even think about screwing around with this clown?!_" [Me and him? No way.] Rin yelled at Shirou.

Luvia stepped up defensively in front of Shirou. "_You leave my man alone Tohsaka you skank!_" [Leave him out of your petty quarrel Tohsaka!] she yelled.

"_Your man?! Uh uh, Edelfelt you are not taking the father of my baby you ho!_" [He is not yours Edelfelt!] Rin yelled back.

"_How can he be the father you flat chested transvestite!_" [No way he's a father you liar!] Luvia screeched at the top of her lungs.

The two girls continued to bitch to each other ready to claw at the others throat while Archer and a really dumb founded Shirou tried to split them up.

'The hell? Ok, now I know somethings up. The situation looked like an argument on daytime reality TV where you watch to see if the guy cheated on the girl or you find out who the father of someones kid was.'

As I thought that, a loud bang was heard from Lancer as he pounded the wide end of his staff on the ground. He then put his finger to his lips to shush us and then he pointed at Illya and Berserker.

'Seems Lancer figures it out.' I thought.

Yeah, I can't be sure whether it was the little white Master or the unassuming Servant but it's clear one of them was screwing with us.

Basically what was happening was that while we mean to say one thing, everyone else was hearing something else entirely and that's causing mix-ups between us and in the girl's case, a catfight between two seriously pissed chicks.

Normally if you know someone you would notice something odd like that and try to clear up the confusion. Like if you hear Superman say something like 'Fuck the world.' Yeah, it's easy to tell something wrong there.

But with those two girls already on edge from Rin's attack, as well as some personal beef they seem to have with each other, the argument and the fight seemed inevitable.

The two girls just stared at Lancer still confused as to what was happening.

Archer stared at the Einzbern team with a stern face placing himself between them and us. 'Guess he got it too, huh.'

Shirou more or less stood there, probably still trying to figure out the thing about him being a father. I walk over to him put my hand over his shoulder and shake my head. Shirou just looks at me still a bit lost.

'Damn it. I figured he was a bit slow, but he really should have figured it out by now!'

The girls looked lost as well. 'Son of a bitch, this is going to be a really long War.'

Lancer transformed back to his battle clothes and walked up next to Archer ahead of us, both standing ready against the new enemy.

At that Rin and Luvia seemed to figure it out since they had a really deep red shade on their faces and looked ready to kill Illya and Berserker.

Shirou tugged at my arm and asked "_Are we having an orgy yet?_" [We're not really going to fight that little girl, are we?] Everyone stared at Shirou. Lancer had an eyebrow cocked up, Archer looked at him like he was insane, and Rin and Luvia stared at him, their faces even redder then before.

'Son of a bitch Shirou.' I try to maintain my composure as sexy images of Rin, Luvia, and Berserker in various ummm, lets just say tangled positions together started popping into my head. 'This isn't the time to get all hot and bothered damn it!'

I decide to tell him via writing. Grabbing a pen from my coat I write on my hand 'Can't talk, magic interference.' And show it to him.

Once Shirou sees it, his face gets red and he looks down at his pants. 'Oh don't tell me?'

I look back at what I wrote, looks the same. I decide to show it to the others. They all had the same reaction. 'Yep even writhing gets distorted, damn it.'

We can't talk, write, and chances are even psychic communication between Master's and Servant's is messed up, not that it mattered with my Master since he probably doesn't even know about it.

This is a problem.

I push Shirou over to Luvia and Rin hoping they have better luck explaining then I did, then walk over to where Archer and Lancer were facing off with the Einzbern team.

"My I hope you're done with your indecent conversation Onii chan." Illya asks impatiently

Our side just nods. 'Seems Illya isn't affected by the communication screw-up.' "Good then we can continue were we began. Berserker Kill them all!"

**RUMBAAAAAAAAAAA!**

With an ear shattering roar saying something I couldn't make out, Berserker charges straight at us.

And she came fast!

Before we noticed she was already over Lancers head and swinging a shovel at him. He tried to block with his staff but with a large crack I see Lancer at my right smashed into the ground and disappear into a crater and cloud of dust.

"Lancer!" Luvia yelled over to where Lancer once stood and where the now definitely confirmed Berserker now stands.

She then turns to me. I quickly draw a machete and put it up to defend my side just in time to smashed by her Spade which launches me straight to the gate wall at the side of the house.

* * *

'This is bad!' Archer thought as Saber is flung like a golf ball by Berserker's Spade.

"Saber!" Shirou's cries behind me but I really can't worry about that now.

Since Lancer was also down if not killed by Berserkers first attack, I have to protect to Masters from this juggernaut in the shape of a girl.

Again bad.

But just as Breserker turned to face me, she turns around and starts walking over to Rin and the others.

"_ #!$%?_" [Hey Hey Hey! Did you just ignore me?! What the hell! Get back here!] Drawing my sword from my back and pulling my Boomerang from my side I attack.

I immediately regret it. Before I even get close she turns to face me, puts her hand down her shirt and when she pulls it out I'm assaulted by a barrage of knives. "Whoawhoawhoawhoa!" I quickly and luckily manage to block the attack but when I look again she was already at my side about to swing her deadly Spade.

"Gha!" I barely manage to parry the heavy attack with my sword when a second swing comes at me. I dodge, then more and more swings come that I just narrowly avoid. I kick up dirt into her eyes and jump back to get some distance but she just throws more knives at me.

This time however she barrages me with a continuous stream rather than a single wave. I keep blocking most of them but still get light cuts here and there.

Then the knives suddenly stop and I see Berserker jump high into the air, her Spade ready to swing down at me like she did Lancer.

"Yeah Rigghht!" I toss Boomerang with all my might and while she easily swats my attack to the side, it still gave me a chance to backpedal away from her target point. She still swung her weapon and when she slams the empty ground, a large cloud of dust covers both of us.

Blinded I raise my sword defensively in front of me then slowly and quietly step back to get out of the haze being careful of where Berserker was. 'Well at least she'll have a problem finding me.'

Then she appears right in front of me!?

"Wha!"

She stabs her Spade straight at me but I managed to narrowly block a fatal blow with my sword. As her weapon slashes above my left shoulder and pushes me out of the dust cloud, I try to get some distance away from her. But she just closes in and keeps wildly swinging her spade at me with such force that my hands start bleeding from each impact I try to parry.

Being forced backwards by her onslaught I soon hit the wall of the mansion and just as she's about to deliver the finishing strike she stops her assault and jumps away to avoid Boomerang which returns to me.

She then just stands there, her dilated eyes piercing me.

"Hah hah hah hah." Aw man, I'm already getting tired and she hasn't so much as broken a sweat! Damn, fighting her head on will get me smashed to bits and even at a distance the knives she throws are tough to just barely block and avoid.

These are the times that when you need a little help, it's nowhere to be found. Glancing to my sides I notice Rin and the others were gone. Since Illya was still by the gate and I don't see them by where Lancer or Saber were, that could only mean they ran into the mansion.

"This is boring. He's just too weak to be any fun. Berserker, just kill him already and go after Shirou. Then we can really start having fun!" Illya said with a sadistic smile.

Hearing that, Berserker's eyes widen and a crazed smile spans her face as if the thought of "fun" was too much for her to bear.

I don't know what hurts more being ignored, getting slashed by a shovel, being called too weak, or being told someone else was more "fun".

Shirou buddy, I don't know what you did to this kid but whatever it was turned her into a psychopath who managed to summon another absurdly powerful, raging psychopath and is now coming to have "fun" with you. I'm hoping that you and the others are getting really really far away cause with the way this fight (if you could call it that) was going, I'm screwed and you're next.

Man, chasing after Shirou really is turning out to be one problem after another. Getting killed then getting hunted. Kinda make me wonder what Rin see in him. I mean it's sorta obvious to me that she likes the guy, she just not being very honest with herself. Maybe I should give her a hand? But her shyness, they got a term for that here, what was it….. oh yeah tsundere? Was that it? Hm maybe I should ask her if we get out of this alive.

Suddenly several yellow flashes and the loud cracks of gunfire fill the air which forces Berserker to jump further away.

Looking to my right side, I see a blood-soaked Lancer supporting himself on his staff getting out of the crater he was in. His left arm was completely twisted out of shape, the bones were sticking out of the skin and his forearm was just barely dangling on by whatever muscles were left still connected. His left leg looked like it was broken since every time he tried to put any weight on it bent at an unnatural sideways angle.

To my other side Saber was just as drenched with half his face covered in blood. He was limping over to where I was. He wasn't using his right leg probably due to the remains of his machete sticking out through his knee. He had a modern day rifle in his left hand aimed at Berserker. His right arm has a large bloody gash from the right shoulder and it extended straight across his chest to his upper abdomen which he must have tightly bound with his torn shirt.

As Lancer and Saber took position to the left and right of Berserker respectively, they began aiming their weapons when Saber yelled out. "_Good shot but no homerun Bitch!_" [Let's try this again you bitch!]

* * *

Shirou had a lot on his mind as he ran thru hallways of the Edelfelt Mansion with Rin and Luvia. Like the stars of his school being Magi, The Holy Grail Wars, and of course the attack by Berserker.

At this second however he only thought of only one thing. "Edelfelt san put me down!"

After Lancer and Saber were quickly taken out by Berserker, Archer began fending her off, during which time Luvia and Rin decided to make a retreat.

I didn't want to leave Saber behind but the girls weren't taking no for an answer, so Luvia decided to just forcefully take me away by flinging me over her shoulder and carrying me into her mansion.

After they finally stop somewhere on the second floor, she put me down. "What going on?!" I finally got the chance to say.

"Sorry Emiya san but we had to get away so we could at least talk with out the disturbance. Tohsaka, how's your servant doing out there?" Luvia asked in distress.

Rin closed her eyes then when she opened them again she shook her head. "Not good. He's quickly getting overpowered. We may need to get out of here and wait for our Servants to return to us in their Spiritual Forms." She said.

"Can Archer last long enough for us to get to a safe distance from them?" Luvia asked. "Probably not, he's really out matched out there. What about Lancer?" Rin replied shaking her head.

"Still alive but unconscious. Emiya san can you tell how Saber is?" Luvia answered Rin then the girls turn to me.

"Wait, whats going on? What happened? Why did we leave the others out their alone?" I asked frantically.

"Listen Emiya we're sorry but we need to figure out what we have to work with before Berserker can finish with Archer. So can you tell how Saber is?" Rin explained. "No, I don't even know how you're doing it. We should get back there and help them!" I tell her.

"Emiya san if we go back there we won't be able to talk like this due to whatever magic they were using to mess up our conversations. So we need to figure out a plan now before we can even think of facing them."Luvia explained. "Because if we are going up against that, we're going to need a way to coordinate our counterattack."Rin continued.

Well at least they kinda explained the weird conversation out there. "So what are we going to do?" I ask them.

"Not sure." Luvia says uncertainly.

"I know one thing. Our Servants are tenacious. Saber and Lancer are back up and are now helping Archer fight." Rin tells us.

"OK, then what do we do?" I ask. At that all we could do was stare at each other.

* * *

'Son of a bitch that hurt!' Saber thought.

After getting shot like a golf ball I ended up watching Archer fend off Berserker's attacks thru my blood shot eyes while trying to patch up my own injuries. When she hit me she snapped my machete, cut into my shoulder and chest, and when I hit the wall I ended up with a bunch of cuts all over including getting my broken machete stuck in my knee.

I tore up my shirt to make some make shift bandages for the cut on my head and to bind my chest, arm, and leg where I left the blade in.

Once done I headed over to help Archer who was pushed to the house wall about to be done in. At the same time I got up Lancer also seem to have recovered enough to help.

Despite all of us being beat up, we now all are surrounding Berserker. "Oh wow so you're all still alive huh. Well I guess it doesn't matter since you're all injured. I don't mind waiting another minute or two for Berserker to get done playing with you though." Illya mocked.

She really knows where to hit you where it hurts. Unfortunately she may be right. Still gotta try. "Lancer, Archer?" I call out to them with a questioning stare to see if they were in any fighting shape keeping the communication distortion in mind.

Archer gives me a thumbs up with his bloody hand. Lancer snapped his messed up arm to the side with a crack and to my surprise it back to normal?! He did the same to his leg and before I knew it all his injuries were gone. 'Wow, mutant healing factor.'

Technically all Servants have healing factors just that it takes time depending on the Servant themselves and their available Mana levels. Mines working pretty slow compared to his. But when we do use it, it's supposed to come with a smoky, light showy type thing or done while in Spirit Form, his was just loud and kinda disturbing.

Whatever let's just get back to killing Berserker (or her killing us).

Lancer is the first to attack, he charges Berserker shooting off his staff as he gets closer. Archer also charges her with his sword.

I drop to one knee and try to aim the automatic rifle in my left hand while bracing the barrel with my right elbow 'This isn't going to be easy. Hope I don't hit the others. With only one good arm, sniping her gonna to be tough.'

Berserker blocks Lancers opening shots with her spade like some kinda Jedi with a lightsaber, Archer then stabbed his sword at her chest but she blocks with her spade then pulling out a knife stabs back at him. Lancer came up from the side and knocks the knife from her hand with his staff then with a twirl pointed the weapon to shoot her. She grabs the staff then pulls him towards her where she head-butts him in the face. Archer jumps back tossing his Boomerang at the arm Berserker was holding Lancer forcing her to let go. Lancer then also pulls back leaving Berserker alone and open, I then take a shot.

I Squeeze off four rounds at the girl but she reaches into her shirt and throws a dozen knives towards me knocking my shots out of her way while still sending several more my way. "Shit!" I roll out of the way avoiding the knives then getting back up I notice Berserker roaring in pain. "Ghaaaaaaaaaaa!" looking closer I see sparks and smoke coming from her right arm. 'Perfect I grazed her and the iron works.'

Servant's bodys may be physical but they still are comparable to a ghost since it's composed of supernatural energy if only kinda, it won't cause them to vanish like regular ghost but it still seems to burn like a bitch.

With Berserker distracted by pain, Archer sneaks up to her side and slashed at her legs with his sword. Berserker jams her spade into the ground blocking the strike but then Lancer got behind her swinging his staff at her head. She ducks down then while jumping up grabs Lancer by the throat lifting him up in the air then in a throw smashes him down at Archer who sidesteps to avoid the human hammer.

Seeing another opening I start shooting again, but Berserker jump away to avoids my shots while tossing more knives at me. I roll and aim again.

"Chuwa!" Archer picks up some of Berserkers scattered knives and tosses them at her while quickly following up with his sword. She knocks the knives away with her bare hands then pulls out two more knives to fight Archer's sword (How many knives is she carrying?).

Lancer jumps back up, pulls out two snake like handguns, and aims. Archer rolls behind Berserker giving both of us a clear shot which we take. Under the barrage of bullets and blue lasers Berserker sends several waves of knives at me while taking Lancers shots head on not even bothered by them. The knives collide with bullets in the air with even more coming at me again.

I put up my rifle to protect myself but the knives that hit knock me backwards and destroyed my weapon. "Gha!" I get back to my feet tossing the useless rifle aside and pulling out something else, this time a pistol loaded with blessed iron silver rounds.

"Archer!" Lancer yelled out. Getting the signal Archer jumped away while Lancer tossed one of his Snake guns at Berserker. Instead of letting it hit her, Lancer shoots the thrown gun with the one he had left causing it to violently explode in Berserkers face. The huge explosion flings Lancer and me into the mansion and Archer elsewhere.

Once the explosion subsided the three of us step up to see what happened to Berserker.

In a scene looking like Judgment Day, the front wall of the mansion was completely gone and Berserker was nowhere to be seen, not a trace of her at all in the enormous crater the explosion created. 'Damn was that thing made of plutonium or something?!'

"Berserker!" Illya starts yelling out. It's only natural she freaks out like that, we just ganked her Servant in one seriously flashy way.

Guess with that out of the way one of the strongest Servant's is done with. And boy did she deserve that title; as the Three Knight Classes we nearly got ourselves screwed while we could barely hurt her without having to blow her and the entire front yard to hell.

"_Fucking bitch deserved it._" [Son of a bitch.] I say with a sigh.

"_Yeah! We beat the Einzbomb team!" _[Yeah we totally rocked! Too bad team Einzbombs!] Archer cry's out with his arms in the air.

Ignoring the really bad pun I sit down and call to Lancer. "_Lancer, call the Master's. Tell them were done here._" [Lancer, ring up the kids, the hard parts finished.]

"_Gotcha Saber._" [Understood Saber.] He replied

Once we hook back up with the Master's we can figure out what to do with Ill…..What was she smiling about?

….."SHIT!"

I yell out just as Berserker came up underneath me from underground! She slashes my already injured leg while coming for my throat with her Spade. I avoid the fatal blow by swinging my bad leg to push the shovel away from me.

"Saber!" I hear Archer and Lancer yelling at me as I get out of the way. I fall on my back then pointing my gun double tap the crazed attacker.

"RHAAAAAAA!" Blood spatters as my two bullets manage to hit her in her stomach. Sparks like a frayed electrical cord shoot out of her body and begin to burn but it still doesn't even slow her down as she brings down her Spade. 'Zeem Zeem'. The sounds of Lancers weapon ring out as Berserker is hit by another two shots straight to the torso destroying her shirt and leaving more burning holes in her body. But she keeps swinging.

'Crap!' but soon Archer's Boomerang flies by cutting the spade in two causing Berserker to hit nothing but air. "Yeah!" Archer exclaims as the two of them start to close in once again but Berserker still doesn't stop even with her main weapon destroyed.

She jams her arm into the wall then pulling it back out she also pulls out a large support beam from the Mansion. "Whaooooo!?" Archer and I scream out at the same time. With a wide swing she smashes Lancer pass the missing front wall tossing him out of the damaged mansion.

I finally crawl away from Berserker then rolling onto my back again point my gun and start shooting, empting my clip. However before my shots connect, she uses the wooden beam to pole-vault over me smashing the remaining roof over my head and lands on the second floor. Bringing the beam with her she then smashes the floor dropping it and her on top of my head.

I hurriedly roll out of the way of the falling girl but when she misses she just starts twirling the beam over her head destroying everything around her. "Ghaaaa! Hold still and let me fix you!" Berserker yells out.

Fix me nothing she's trying to flatten us with that thing!

"Berserker, forget these weaklings and just get my brother now!" I hear Illya order her Servant.

'Brother? WEAKLING? Son of a bitch! I don't even know where to begin!'

But then Berserker just turns her back at me and rushes off still spinning the beam over her head as she skips off to find Shirou destroying everything along the way.

"Strike Freedom!" [Get back here!] I yell at her but she just wanders off to kill (or worse) Shirou.

* * *

Luvia was starting to get worried about the battle. Once she heard that Lancer and Saber got back up she started to watch the battle through Lancers eyes.

At first the fight seemed to start going our way with Lancer and Archer attacking head on while covering each other with Saber providing support fire. (Weird that he and Archer got their roles mixed up though.) They seemed to finally hurt her but then Berserker overtook Lancer slamming him to the ground. When he got back up he starts shooting with a pair of Zat's but Berserker just shrugs off his shots. Then Lancer did something to one of the Zat's and tossed it at Berserker then shot it with his other one causing a huge explosion. After that we lost our visual connection.

Since then all we've heard was the sound of a lot thing getting smashed. "Guy's what's going on? What was that explosion?" Shirou asked us.

"Lancer caused that explosion. That new sound, I don't know but since it's coming towards us make me think we should run." Rin replied.

However before we got anywhere something violently comes crashing through the floor behind us. "Tag, your it!" It was a half-naked Berserker holding a wooden beam in her hands.

"Damn!"

Berserker then starts walking towards us with an excited smile. "Come here little boy I won't hurt you, I'm just going to slowly bury you from your neck up."

Before Shirou could respond though, Rin and I place ourselves between them and started shooting Gandr's at her. Berserker blocks the shots with the beam but it breaks apart after a few hits. But then Berserker starts throwing Knives from her bra at us. Having seen what they could do, Rin grabs Shirou and pulls him into the nearest room while I cover them by shooting some of the knives down with my Gandr before following them.

At this point the best we can do is run since we don't know how our own Servants were doing and we can't face her head on by ourselves.

Blasting the wall connecting rooms together we begin running through the mansion trying to avoid being in the clear line of fire of Berserkers knives. Unfortunately we soon run into the last room of the house.

I signal Rin shaking my head and pointing ahead. She understands and makes a right turn but before she could go anywhere she is stopped by a shovel flying through the walls and past her face.

Berserker caught up and now we were trapped between a monster and a wall. She slowly steps closer, knives clutched between her fingers like makeshift claws and a white toothy smile plastered over her face gleaming with twisted excitement.

The three of us stand facing her with our own weapons drawn. Shirou with a knife, Rin had a pair of jewels, and I with Gandr armed and ready. The three of us stood ready to jump Berserker with whatever we had in mind when suddenly a sword passed around us like a shark. Then the floor fell through leaving Berserker behind as she throws her knives up on the higher floor but hits nothing.

Lancer, Saber, and Archer had caught up to us and cut us down from the second floor to get us away from Berserker. As we fell Lancer caught Shirou and me, Archer caught Rin while Saber had a double barrel shotgun pointed upstairs.

Then Archer with his free hand cut thru the wall leading to the yard and the Servants carried us out with Saber covering our escape.

* * *

"My oh my. Your Servants sure are stubborn aren't they?" Illya said as she arrived to the side of the mansion where the others were gathered.

The opposing six turned to face me looking at me with dismay. "I'd ask if you're ready for round 3, but judging from your Servants condition they probably won't even be able to put up another scrappy defense like they did earlier, let alone put up a decent fight." I continued.

The three battered Servant stared at me with strong eyes that tried to defy my expectation, but I knew how weakened they were. Fending off Berserker's onslaught took nearly everything they had to avoid being shredded.

"But you should know that I am merciful. If you come with me and become my toy, I promise to let you live Onii chan." I tell them with my blood thirsty Berserker string down at them.

"I can't say the same for the others. I was going to kill them regardless. So what do you say, Shirou Emiya?" I give him a sweet inquisitive stare.

I expect him to agree, it the cowardly answer I'd expect from the man who stole MY Kiritsugu. MY father. I was going to make sure he knows just how much he stole from me by taking everything from him; from his life to his very being. Yes, I was going to make him suffer.

I could feel the eager smile forming across my face just beaming with perverse excitement over the many entertaining things I would do to my step-brother. But then he shook his head.

"Wha. Y-you're kidding right? You can't possible think you can make it out of this alive. Not in the condition your group is." I try to rationalize, but he just stood there with his knife ready to defend.

'Why why won't he come with me. Why is he denying me everything I deserve? My happiness. My family. My father. Everything that was; everything that is MINE! Why why why why why why "WHY!" I didn't even notice that I screamed out.

But he just shakes his head again.

NO no no no no! This wasn't the way it was supposed to be! He was supposed to just give up after seeing my Berserker in action. So why won't he give UP!?

But then again, there is more ways than one to skin a goat.

"Hehheh!" With a low chuckle I give Berserker the order. "Berserker. Tear off his arms and legs and bring him with us. Just kill the rest."

**ZETSUBOOO!**

She lets out a roaring scream. The Servants push the Masters behind them as they prepared for whatever was going to happen. Not that it mattered; Berserker will just smash them all to get to her target.

**RESTAURANTT! **

With another heavy yell,Berserker dives down at them, two shovels in her hands. Archer jumps up trying to slash at her with an upward swing of his sword but Berserker just swats him aside.

The others back away from my Servants landing point.

When she lands Lancer and Saber start shooting their weapons at her but she just blocks them with swings of her Spades.

With a snarl she steps up to Lancer while still blocking his shots then catches his staff with the end of her Spade pulling it out of his hands. "SCHNITT!" With a heavy downward slash, she cuts a deep wound across his torso which he then falls to the ground twitching like a fish.

'Now its Sabers turn.'

As Berserker walked closer to Saber and proceeded to cut him in half with a horizontal swing, he tries to defend himself by blocking with his gun.

But then Shirou pushed Saber out of the way of the slash taking the attack himself.

Berserker's Spade tears Shirou's right arm off then carves into his chest in a big spatter of blood and bones.

"Aaaaahhhhhh!"

"SHIROU!" Everyone yelled out his name as he fell where he stood in a growing pool of his own gore.

Suddenly nobody moves as if they're walking on thin ice.

'W-wha what happened? Did he just _protect_ a Servant? Was he_ that_ stupid? First he rejects his only chance to live then he just throws himself in front of a lethal blow? What kind of logic is that?! Is he masochistic or just plain suicidal?!'

As I stood watching the stupidity in-front of me I couldn't believe that the horrible brother I've heard about for so long would do something like that.

Not only that, but Berserker. She was still wounded by the gun fire from Saber. The bullet wounds she received in her stomach remained open with small sparks still spraying out. But why? The other injuries she got from the others have already healed thanks to my magic so why are those persisting? Even if they were lodged projectiles they still should have been pushed out by my healing spell and fixed. But they weren't.

"Tch. Berserker we're leaving." This was annoying enough and it seems that there are some new developments to address about Shirou and his Servant.

Berserker came up to me with a disappointed face. "But Master?" she whined.

"Oh don't worry you'll get your chance soon enough. So just wait for a bit." I console her. At that, a small smile returned to her face. "Ok."

"Shirou! Emiya kun! Emiya!" Leaving the cries of concern behind us we head back to the Castle.

* * *

Class: Berserker

Master: Illyasviel von Einzbern

True Name: Chiri Kitsu

Legend: Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei

Sex: Female

Alignment: Lawful Evil

Strength: A+

Endurance: C+

Agility: B+

Mana: B+

Luck: C+

Class Skills- Mad Enhancement (E) – Normally possessing the mentality of an OCD child. Can fall into uncontrollable murderous rampages if perceiving something as not precise, randomly raising any two parameters throughout her outburst.

Personal Skills:

Clairvoyance-A: Superior visual perception. Supplement long-range aiming and increases dynamic vision. Furthermore, at higher ranks it is possible to acquire precognition ("see into the future") and other forms of perception that are beyond normal eyesight (X-ray vision and the sorts). Chiri can summon a psychic third eye capable of telescopic, 360° X-ray vision. This is due to the two kanji in her name that can be read as Senrigan (Clairvoyance).

Projectile knives-B: Is the expertise for throwing projectile weapons; in this case, any kind of knife or cutting tool. Chiri conceals countless knives on her person allowing her to use them individually or throw them as a flechette storm.

Put in the Ground-C: The ability to bury oneself or others in a hole. Chiri affection for burying her victims gives her the ability to quickly dig holes and fill them. Also allows her limited underground movement when combined with Senrigan (Clairvoyance).

Noble Phantasm:  
_Subtitles – A world of words (Chiri Kitsu Version)_: Berserker's main Noble Phantasm. It causes an effect which substitutes all verbal or written forms of communication of everybody within 16 meters of her with dialogue of her own making. It will not affect her Master. This is based on her desire to properly state what is being said rather than leaving things said softly. Due to Chiri's personality the way communications are restated will be rough, brutal, and incorrect to the original. The way it will be displayed to the reader is that what is heard by that cast will be in regular quotes but in italics, while what is really said will be in brakets. Does not affect simple exclamations like "No way!" or names. Example "_Fuck do I really have to say it. Fine, I do not own Fate Stay Night or Ataraxia, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei or anybody else in this god damn Fic. There_. _Couldn't we have said that other thing?_" [Disclaimer I do not own Fate Stay Night/Ataraxia, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei or any other series used in the making this Fanfiction.]. Derived from her legend in SZS Chapter 140 and Zan Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei Bangaichi Episode 2.

_G Chiri Unit ? - The True Dynasty Warrior_: In the form of a mask from a lost civilization. When equipped, this Noble Phantasm will bestow Chiri with the strongest power of an advanced ancient civilization. Chiri will grow to a towering 88 Meters tall and increase all stats. In G Chiri mode Madness Enchantment, Strength, Endurance, Agility, and Mana stats will gain an EX ranking. With Madness Enchantment at rank EX, G Chiri will be completely dependent on her Master to control her actions. Due to the astronomical Prana consumption the Master must remain in constant physical contact with Chiri to supply Prana or she will return to normal. Derived from her legend in SZS Chapter 100 and Zoku Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei Episode 4.

?

* * *

Authors note: Just some quick things

1. Schnitt means to cut in German.

2. When I put question marks under a list of Noble Phantasms like here, it just means there is still more that I have to either fix or contain Story Spoilers.

3. The only reason I put references to my Berserkers Noble Phantasms is since it such a random series it helps to know where the idea came from incase you want to see it for yourself. I will not be doing it for everyone.

Final point. In this Chapter and in Chapter one, I put references to an "incident" that happens. I am making a oneshot prelude about it. It's just about how Luvia came to be in Fuyuki city and my attempt to make Shirou do something productive before the story. Not much though. I probably will get it done around the time I get Chapter 5 or 6 done but I'm not sure.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Breakfast Club

In the wake of Berserkers assault everyone hurried to assist the fallen Shirou.

"Guys stop the bleeding, hurry!"

"He's losing too much blood he's not going to make it at this rate!"

"Girls can't you do something with your magic?"

"I already used my best jewel earlier. What I have right now won't completely fix him!"

"Archer, give me your boomerang and help me set a tourniquet on his arm!"

"August can you hear me? I need you to bring some items for a healing ritual now!"

"Damn it! His condition is deteriorating too fast he's not going to make it!"

"I may have an idea, but"

"Do it!"

"WHOA!"

"Ok, seriously guys we can't stay here."

"We may return to the Emiya residence. It is in close proximity and possesses adequate protection in case of another attack."

"Let go."

* * *

Fire. There's so much fire all around me. It like I'm in a cocoon made of flames.

But this isn't the normal tragedy I have always seen in my dreams for the past 10 years.

"?"

I hear someone calling a name but it's not mine.

Where am I? I finally realize where I am in a burning hallway. It's not the burning city that became the grounds of my rebirth.

"?"

"D?d?!"

Someone calls out again. I see a man coming towards me but I can't make out his features due to the smoke. He bravely passes the fires around him like a hero crossing the gates of hell. He's also carrying something, protecting it with his life.

He comes towards me. I feel secure and protected with him near. He then hands whatever he was carrying to me and speaks to me.

"? Take ?, Run?" But his voice is drowned out by more static.

What did he say? I can't make out his words but now I feel stronger, braver. I feel like a hero, like him.

I'm now running while carrying something. My breathing is labored, my lungs fill with smoke. I cover the thing in my arms and protect it as I run to safety. But where is safe?

I blink and now I'm dragging a tall man out of similar flames. He's yelling out a name in distress as he tries to go back inside the flames but I keep pushing him out. "JESS!" He keeps yelling, but I have to get him away from the fire, it was just too dangerous to stay.

Now I'm standing next to a car in two different scenes; one with the older hero holding me and something else in his arms sitting on the car, the other was me and the tall man I carried out standing next to the same car.

Now a female figure appears before me, she was dressed in white and fire. She comes close and I feel warm, it so soft and warm. I've never felt this kind of warmth. It's different from the intense heat of the fires I have felt. I feel tears streak my face. And then she's gone, consumed by the fire she was dressed in.

I feel cold, empty. I look back and see the heroic man again, he's strong. Looking at him, a familiar feeling fills my chest. Then an image over laps his as I see Kiritsugu together with him. They both tell me something, give me something but also take something. What is it? What did they take? What did I gain? How did these men curse us?

* * *

"How is he Lancer?" Was the first thing Luvia said to Lancer.

After managing to stabilize Shirou, we all headed to his house.

Worried about time and Shirou's unstable condition Lancer suggested we take one of the cars stored in the garage.

The mansion currently had three cars; a limousine, a sedan and a SUV, each of which August usually uses to drive me to school with. As of two weeks ago however Lancer has insisted that he would chauffeur me to school for the duration of the war believing it to be safer in case of emergency.

Saber drove us in the SUV while the rest of us watched over what Lancer was doing to Shirou in the back. "Ok. You guys sure that was such a good idea, cause I can't think what he just did was such a good idea."

"You are correct Saber this is indeed a perilous course of action. I would by no means have ever have recommended doing so, but under the _circumstances_ I believe that it will save Shero Emiya san's life." Lancer explained placing heavy emphasis on his meaning of _circumstances_.

Remembering the circumstances he was referring to, I look down at my right hand I see the two command seals I have left.

When Lancer returned with Shirou and Saber I first thought it was a great turn of events that he came here, but I immediately realized the Servant contract he had by the Command seals on his hand.

"Pardon me Emiya san but we have something to discuss. We won't be long." I take Lancer out to the hallway and proceed to question him.

"What's going on Lancer I thought you were going after a witness not a Master. Especially him."

"Master I was tracking the boy. He is the witness. As for the Servant, he was only just recently summoned during my attempt to capture the boy."

Detailing the events before he got here I remain focused on the fact Lancer _killed_ Shirou. Out of everything that could happen how did he get involved! Damn all my efforts to get close to him so far almost went up in smoke. I had it all planned out, my strategy to seduce him and make him mine. I guess I owe Tohsaka for that.

"Master."

"Yes?" Lancer snaps me back to reality. "As I was saying the boy appears to possess latent magical powers albeit weak. His house also has a well-crafted bounded field."

Of course more surprises keep coming.

"Firstly Lancer, his name is Shero Emiya. Secondly are you sure about that. I don't detect anything." "I am certain. I felt his energy as I engaged him in combat."

This really is starting to get messy, first he's a magus and no one ever noticed, then he becomes a Master right under my nose and now he's here.

"Master, I do not support attacking an unprepared opponent, therefore I recommend informing Shero Emiya san of his position as a Master, after which we should give him some time to prepare for a proper dual in an appropriate location without distraction."

Lancers advice was sound especially after what happened today at the school grounds. Giving him time to get ready, then face Shero with his Servant once he has prepared himself, gathering whatever Mysteries he had available for a life and death struggle. No matter how I looked at it, it was the most logical approach to take.

But I couldn't. He may have been hiding his true knowledge but that's true also of Tohsaka and me. As Magi we lie to the world about what is really running behind the scene in the darkness and in plain sight. And I have seen him, observed him (A lot), so I know that he isn't like Tohsaka who hides her true persona behind a mask, in reality what you see of Shero is really what you get. He's good natured, well meaning, reliable, but most of all loyal to his friends. He'd have to be to be friends with likes the Matou's first born son.

"Master?" Snapping me out of another internal monologue Lancer waits for my answer.

"Lancer we won't be fighting him."

"Master?"

As Lancer Gives me an inquisitive stare with his eyebrow raised, I elaborate. "I'm sure that fighting them when they are prepared is indeed a good plan but instead we're going to join in an alliance with them." He continues to stand confused so I continue. "I'm not sure if I told you this but when my family previously entered the 3rd Holy Grail War we used the Magic of our Ore Scale to summon two versions of the same Saber class Servant."

"Would you have attempted to do the same with me?"

"If my sister Marjatta was here then yes, but at the time I received my Command Seals she was not here. She has an extreme distaste for this country as well as obligations of her own to deal with, so assuming that she would not join me here I did the Summoning without her or the Ore Scale."

"Are you therefore suggesting to compensate for the lack of your sister's presence with Shero Emiya san and his Servant?"

Again Lancer brings up the logical approach but I won't be like Tohsaka, I won't lie about what I really want.

"No Lancer. That's only secondary. In truth Shero is the only person I don't think I could fight even out of obligation. Living here and getting to know him, I guess I got too attached and while I know that is dangerous for a Magi especially in a war like this I really can't help it."

I raise up my right hand to his surprise. "Lancer, I Command you by the power of the Holy Grail, you will protect Shiro Emiya as our ally."

The burning glow from my hand signifies its use as one of my Command Seals fades away.

"I understand Master. (He bows his head.) But I would like to inform you that the use of the Command Seal was both wasteful as well as unnecessary. If we do indeed join in an alliance with Shero Emiya san then I would have naturally protected the boy as I do you."

I suddenly feel myself get red and warm over the realization of what I did. "Really?" I ask in a very stupefied tone.

"Yes. Contrary to the preconception you appear have of me, I too also value friendship and camaraderie for more reason other than logical convenience. In my life, I became a legend when I believed, on nothing more than pure faith, in one man and his wild claims of freedom."

I'm legitimately surprised. From what I have seen of him he seemed the type to abandon his allies just to complete his mission. It was kind of comforting to know he wasn't some kind of unfeeling machine that wouldn't understand what I was feeling. But it also makes me feel stupid for using one of my Command Seals like that.

"But are you certain that Shero Emiya san will accept if you offer?" Looking at Lancer straight in the eyes I answer. "Yes."

Thinking back to how Lancer told me that he would protect Shero even without my compulsory command, it make me wonder 'If that is the case then why was he so hesitant to save his life like this?'

We soon arrive at the Emiya estate. After Saber parked the car, we carry the unconscious but moderately stable Shero inside to continue helping him.

* * *

Saber was more than a little disturbed.

The fight with Berserker was just insane. Watching Shirou get torn to pieces by a shovel was worrying the crap out of me, though it seems he'll live.

But what's really bugging the hell out of me is _how_ he's still alive.

Well it's not the first time I've something like that, but it's still frickin disgusting!

Leaving mysterious whatever for later and while patching up my wounds, I look at the other occupant of the slightly trashed living room we were in.

Lancer had taken Shirou to closest bedroom when we entered. Luvia and Rin went in with him carrying Shirou's jaggedly chopped off arm and some other things that Luvia brought with us and were now doing something in the closed room.

That left me alone with Archer, who was tending to his own injuries.

All things considered, he got the least damage out of the three of us despite fighting the longest with Berserker.

"Wait, wha?"

I didn't mean to say that out loud but Archer still heard. "Hm, what up Saber?"

Well since Archer asked, might as well ask him. "Hey, what do you think of the fight?"

Archer gives me a weird look trying to see if I was serious. "Yeaaah, I think we got our ass kicked."

Can't deny that.

We both start nodding our heads pointlessly while we sit in an awkward silence. "Ok, that's not what I meant. I mean was there something odd about Berserkers attacks?" I elaborate.

Tilting his head then cupping his chin like he was stroking a beard the replies. "Hmmm, well her assault seemed pretty well balanced for a Berserker. Close or long range, she had it covered great. No way someone could fight her fairly one on…Wait wha?"

"Yeah I said the same thing too. How the hell did you last so long on your own when she beat me and Lancer in zero seconds flat?"

That was the question. Regardless of element of surprise, me being a gunner Saber, him being a swordsman Archer, or Lancer being whatever he was; her hits were strong, really strong. As a Berserker she won't hold back, they just don't know the concept of restraint. Which means that the strong hit she floored me and Lancer with should have been the same as the ones Archer took throughout his fight, but even blocking, we fell in one shot while he took dozens and made it out with only one minor wound and few small cuts.

"What do you think?" I ask.

"Not sure. But now that I look back, I remember some weird things. Like the fact that she spoke. I mean she's Berserker! Appearances aside the way she fought it seemed like she could actually" I interrupt him. "Think of how to fight. But that can't be, Berserker's are supposed to just charge straight forward like the Juggernaut from X-Men."

Archer continued. "And she was responsive to conversations too. Like when Illya talked to her; she smiled when she heard 'Fun', and she complained when ordered to leave and she actually left."

We stopped our analysis chain and just stare at each other. Something was off about that Berserker. "We might wanna compare note. Maybe we can find something to work with, like a weakness or something to slow that bitch down next time." I tell him.

"Yeah. Just fighting her has its own mess of problems. Scares me to wonder what kinda Noble Phantasm she has up her sleeve. But first things first, what's X-Men?"

…. "What, like really? You don't Know?"

Yup, we go a lot of work to. Just as I thought that, the house phone began to ring. And it kept ringing.

"So Saber, you going to pick it up? It is your Master's House after all." I look at Archer then back at the phone. "Damn it."

* * *

"You will give it to me!" a voice rang out.

Shirou covered his ears and shut his eyes as the booming voice continued to yell. "Give yourself to me and I will free you from your pain."

The voice felt like it was strangling me with each word. I will my eyes to open, unsure of what I'll see, but I see nothing. All around me there is nothing but a void. "This is wrong." I mindlessly say.

"Allow me to correct it for you. Submit and I shall fill your world." The voice continues to choke me. "You are empty but I can fill you."

"Is that what I want?"

"It is, now sleep. Give yourself to a greater power so that you may rest."

The voice is almost hypnotic but I still feel it. The more I listen the tighter my body feels. "Who are you? What do you want?" I try to ask but my throat feels dry and the words barely come out.

"I am your salvation of course. All you need to do is submit."

I can't take it, the words continue to grip me and I just want to get free of this constriction.

"No I don't need Salvation. I promised that I would be salvation for others; that I'd become a hero!"

Suddenly I feel my feet touch ground. I look down but there is nothing still. Wait, no there is something. It's transparent but I can make out a shape in the form of a shimmer. I feel the tightness loosen but it was still there.

"I will become the hero my dad couldn't. I promised I would protect everyone!" The more I talk, the stronger I feel and the more the tightness lessens.

"That what I want more than anything! To feel that same happiness dad felt when I was saved! To give others happiness! That is what I want in life!"

Then light consumes me. I see something, a shape, a place. It's close, closer than anything else but so far away.

"Can I reach it? Can I reach ?"

But what is it I'm trying to reach?

"Uhhh." My body feels heavy. My eyelids barely open as my eyes are hit by multiple points of dim light.

I try to lift my arms but the moment I put any force into my right arm a sharp cold pain signals my brain to stop all movement. So I lay awake and soon my eyes adjust to the light.

I look around, my neck feeling sore, when I notice many candles surrounding me. Where am I?

The walls are draped with some kind of red curtains that extend to the flood. The room has an almost fire look with the flickering of the candles.

Then I notice I'm not alone. To my left about four feet away sitting cross-legged in some kind of meditation pose was Lancer, dressed in green cargo pants and a black tee shirt.

Suddenly my memories jumpstart and I recall everything that had happened; At school, Lancer, Saber, Luvia and Rin, the Holy Grail War, Berserker.

!

"Shit Bersecaaa!" I try to sit up but putting any effort into my body just sends more pain throughout my body.

What happened? Are the others alright? What happened with Berserker and Illya?

I start to become anxious as I start demanding answers I need to know. "Are you awake, Shero Emiya san?" My struggling must have awakened Lancer from his sleep.

"Yeah. The others?" I hoarsely let out.

"My Master, Saber, Rin tohsaka, Archer, and myself are fine. Our injuries were not as extensive as yours. You should relax and recover your strength."

Unfortunately he was right. I still couldn't get up at all. Man what happened? It feels like someone dissected all my muscles, pulled them out of my skin and put the back in my body in some haphazard new arrangement that's just not working.

"You are perhaps thirsty?" I nod slightly. "Then I shall go fetch some water as well as inform the others that you have awakened." Saying that, Lancer stands up and heads out the door which was covered by the curtains.

He could have at least told me where we were. I complain while I try to move my body again.

* * *

The situation appears to be improving. Thought Lancer as he continued down the halls of the Emiya Estate to inform the other of Shero Emiya's condition.

He was still upset over the unexpected turn of events that transpired which forced him to do something he would rather not have done during the Holy Grail War. Giving Shero Emiya his Goa'uld Symbiote to heal his wounds was incredibly dangerous even if his Symbiote was still a larval.

A larval Symbiotes may have weaker hold over a host as opposed to an adult Goa'uld but even so the Symbiote was still Goa'uld, which meant that it still could have taken over Shero's body if he did not possess a strong enough mind to resist the merge.

However that did not come to pass and now with Junior the Second (Name subject to change based on Archer and Saber) safely back in his Symbiote Pouch, we will not have to be concerned about a tyrannical Goa'uld involved in the Holy Grail War.

Reaching the living room, I observe my Master and Rin Tohsaka behind the counter of kitchen as they appear to be debating over the right to prepare Breakfast.

"Edelfelt, I'll handle the cooking. You just go and do whatever it is you do in the morning."

"Tohsaka, it would be rude of me as the guest do nothing as my host lies sick and injured in bed."

"Oh, so you finally admit that you're just a lazy woman?"

"Well at least I have a legitimate reason to be here. Why _are_ you still here Tohsaka?"

"Master." Speaking up to interrupt their brewing wickedness, I become curious as to where Saber and Archer were.

After Shero Emiya was clear of any life threatening wounds and the magical reattachment of his right arm was complete, the 5 of us gathered in the living room to negotiate our plans for future conflicts.

Unfortunately any and all attempts by the two female Masters to communicate with each other failed as they quickly began bickering with each other. After an hour of avoiding a calamity which threatened to escalate into a Holy Grail War 5.5 between themselves, we Servants came to a silent agreement; under no circumstances are we to leave Rin Tohsaka and Luviagelita Edelfelt alone without supervision.

Which is why I am curious as to where they went. "Where are Saber and Archer?"

"Saber said he wanted to check out his car. After a while Archer went to check up on him and we haven't seen them since. That was 10 minutes ago." Rin replied.

Tilting my head and raising an eyebrow in confusion, I begin to wonder what Saber and Archer could be doing with the damaged car.

Suddenly we hear an argument coming towards us from the hallway leading to the backyard. "No, no way. I refuse to go with that name. So Archer, just drop it!"

Saber and Archer were currently walking together and Saber was clearly upset over something. "Come on! It perfect. It couldn't be any more perfect. Just think about it for just a second Saber."

"No" Saber rejects to Archers unknown request. "May I ask what it is you appear to be arguing about?"

"NO!" "YES!" Saber and Archer exclaimed respectively.

"Archer seriously, don't bring it up again. **EVER**! I don't even what you to think about it let alone say it again. Got it?"

Archer looked away clearly unhappy over the demand but finally he relented. "Fine." He said like a child denied his desired toy.

"Good. Anyways, Lancer how's Shirou?"

"His condition is improving and he has awakened, but he is still weak. I came to deliver him some water." I answer Saber concern.

Master Luvia then asks. "How long before he is well enough to get up?"

"I estimate he should be able to rise and move about in about half a day. But I am curious as to how long it will be for him to become accustomed to the reattached arm?"

As the three Servants look over at the girls we await an answer, but then Archer speaks before them. "Uh, hey Lancer, I think your prognosis is off."

Looking over at him we see he is pointing at someone coming down the hall. To all of our surprise, we see Shero Emiya leaning against the wall as he continues forward.

"Morning everyone." He says nonchalantly between heavy breathes.

"Shirou!"

"Hey you sure you should be up? You were pretty messed up by Berserker after all." Saber was the first to ask.

"Indeed you should return to bed and continue to rest." I add.

"Don't worry I'm fine. Besides, I was getting worried when I heard the yelling." Shero explained most likely referring to Rin Tohsaka and Master Luvia's kitchen dispute or Saber and Archer unknown argument.

Hearing Shero's answer the guilty four start facing off with each other. "He's probably means you girls. We could hear you all the way outside in the shed." Saber tells the Masters.

"I doubt that Saber, Your little squabble with Archer is probably what he heard." Rin retorts back at the Servant pair.

The two sides then continue to glare at each other like they were preparing to dual. Shero steps in between them before they began.

"Ok guys it doesn't matter. I'm just glad we all made it after last night. So it's no probl…."

He stops as his gazes into the kitchen. His eyes began emanating excessive turmoil, his face was bleached of color and his body trembling as if in uncontrolled atmospheric entry.

He just stands there.

"Um, Shiro? You alright?"

We three Servants approach Shero out of concern. Putting his hand on his shoulder Saber asks again. "Hey what's wrong?"

But he remains unresponsive as he continues to stare at the female Masters. "What's happening Lancer? I thought the Symbiote had healed him?" My Master inquires with obvious concern laced in her word.

"It had." I calmly reply but I am still worried about this new turn of events.

Then Saber, Archer, and I decide to follow Shero's stare looking into the kitchen.

Hmm. Perhaps it is better to say what remains of the kitchen. From a distance it looked tidy but upon closer examination a different truth is reveled. On the stove some unidentifiable object was slowly smoldering as it attempted to leave the blackened flames. Unknown powders, puddles, and stains covered the unseen floor in a psychedelic muddle. Various utensils lay scattered about with knives, spoons, and pans sticking out of the wall.

Obviously their argument was long started before I had arrived. Regardless, it became apparent that Shero's current unresponsive state was due to the condition of his kitchen.

"Well, so much for breakfast. So anyone feel like eating out?" Archer remarked looking at the mess in confusion.

"Is it that bad?" Rin asks as if oblivious to the kitchen's state.

"Yes." The four males immediately reply.

Then as if on cue the sink on the wall collapse to the floor. Luvia responds. "We can fix this. Don't worry Emiya kun."

"KEKEKEEKEKE!" Suddenly the thing on the stove flies away with a manic cackle.

"Whoa!" the 6 of us yell in shock. Then looking around we see it was gone

"Uhh Masters, I think your experimental meal; whatever it was, finally decided to run away." Archer comments while still looking around.

"What were you making?! Some kind of new Monster meal? Demon food? Jason Voorhees? Well?!" Saber frantically asks while also looking around.

"My kitchen, my sanctuary, my world it gone, mutated into some kind of of of primordial soup!" Shero rambles as he stares at something bubbling on the ground.

Archer then speaks to Rin. "Ok. Master I know you are upset over last night, but this, (Pointing around the kitchen.) is not the way. I know for a fact that there is a better way. So don't go all Wicked Witch slash Frankenstein on us just yet. Please. I'll even stop our gag of you as the ball busting, manhood killing, 'Women are the superior race' thing. How that sound, Huh." Archer bargained, but before Rin can aggressively reply I interject.

"Perhaps we can continue this conversation later after the mess is cleaned and the, mmm breakfast is recovered."

"Yeah that sounds good. Archer with me. The rest of you uh salvage what you can and kill anything else that tries to escape. Seriously what were you making?"

"Cereal." The two girls immediately answer.

"Wait how did.. why was…where did you….forget it. I don't care anymore. Let's go Archer." As Saber finishes and begins to head out with Archer I stop them.

"Wait Saber, Archer you may use these to hunt breakfast." Then I draw two Zat'nik'tel and toss them to the departing pair. "Hey aren't those?" But Shero's question is cut off. "What are these?" Saber asks looking them over. "They are Zat'nik'tel, a stun weapon. To activate it, squeezing the bottom. Do the same to fire. One hit will render unconscious, a second hit will kill."

The two then activate their Zat'nik'tel with an electronic hum and Saber exclaims. "Cool! Zat nickle dime huh? Do you mind if we keep these?"

"I do not mind. They do not appear to affect Servants since Berserker took many hits but did not fall."

"Wait, is this what you used to cause that explosion?" Archer asks now holding his away from him.

"Yes."

"Maybe you should take these back." "Yeah." The two say passing them back. "You do not need to worry. Unless you know how it functions, it will not explode. So they are safe."

"Alright then." Still hesitant. Then turns and head down the hallway. "Come on Saber! Let get us some breakfast!"

"Ok, that could use a less weird name."

"Ohh, how about."

"No."

As they head out Shero and I turn back to the kitchen. "This will indeed be arduous work." I state. "Aw man. It was perfect too!" Shero grumbled.

"Don't worry Emiya. We'll clean it up. Right Edelfelt?" Rin tried to encourage him.

"That right. So just rest now. We can clean it up." Master Luvia responded cheerfully.

"But was it not you two who caused this mess in the first place?" I ask. But the two girls just turn around and start cleaning.

I then support Shero to the dining room table where we wait. For now I shall take the time to explain to him what happened last night; from how we fixed his injurys with the Symbiote and the Masters magic, to when he awoke minutes ago.

* * *

"Saber?"

"Yeah Archer?"

"There's no reason to go into detail about this, is their Saber?"

"No."

"Good."

"Let's just get back."

"Uhh Saber, were gonna need new clothe theses are." "Yeah we'll grab some from my car. Now come on."

And with that Saber and Archers First hunt together ends.

"KEKEKEKEKEKKEEE!" Maybe.

* * *

Shirou was looking at his right arm. Though now it was hard to tell whether he should call it his or not. The hand itself was normal, just a bit pale.

Looking up his arm he stops at the elbow, there a junction where his flesh and blood body meet with a Blue and silver crystal substance which connects from my elbow to the top of my bicep.

"While my Symbiote was able to save your life and repair the damage to your torso, it was unable to heal your torn arm. As such Rin Tohsaka and my Master used their Magecraft to reconnect your arm. The skin, muscles, and bones of your upper arm were crushed beyond recovery. As a result a substitute was used to bind your arm back together to your body. However since they do not specialize in such advance healing magic, they compensated by using the Magecraft that they were familiar with, Jewel Magecraft. They did not have many, but they did have 3 jewels, Lapis Lazuli, Lepidolite, and Diopside, that were able to repair your body."

I was surprised at how detailed he got but I was still confused about something. "I don't understand. How did they use Jewel Magecraft to heal me?"

Rin answered me from the kitchen. "Jewel Magecraft works by using the natural properties of jewels that are stained with the power of Natural Spirits. Once Prana is infused into the Jewels, it will then have the mystical properties of the stone; such as fire or anti spirit. The jewels we used had specialized healing properties that we were able to modify and use. The Diopside that I used was good for regeneration after physical trauma, like your arm being chopped off."

Luvia continued. "The jewels that I used, Lapis Lazuli can be used to on the skeletal system and Lepidolite on muscles. So I used them to generate replacements for the parts that you lost. Think of the jewel Tohsaka used like a suture to close and bind open wounds and the jewels I used like a skin graft used on burn patients to replace lost skin. Together they function as a replacement for the parts of your arm we couldn't heal. Namely your upper arm."

"Sounds like you were performing major surgery or something." I respond hearing her explanation.

"That's not a wrong way of putting it. But you should know that for some time you may have some problems with using your fixed arm. I recommend you do not over use it. And also you shouldn't use that arm for any magic for the time being. Its stable now, but it's still not attuned to your body, soul or Magical Circuits very well. It running on our Prana now and will need to for a while. But you should know that if you start haphazardly pouring your own Prana into that arm then it could fall apart, consume your body, or explode."

Wow that last part sounded really bad. "Expolde?!"

"Yeah, but that only if you are really reckless. But right now"

Rin reply's leaving off the end of her sentence, forcing me to ask. "Now what?"

"Now we get to talk about your insane stunt against Berserker!" Rin yells back.

"Wha?"

"She's talking about your habit of jumping in front of danger Shirou." Looking around I see Saber and Archer coming back from whatever they were doing. For some reason though they were dressed in different clothe from what they were wearing earlier.

Saber was dressed in faded jeans with holes, a white tee shirt and an open red shirt. Archer new clothe were baggy on him, might be some of Sabers since he had similar jeans, and blue hoodie.

"Were you successful with breakfast?" Lancer asked them as they take their own seats on the table.

"Yes and that all we're going to say about it. Ok Shirou lets hear it." Saber looks towards me.

"Hear what?"

"**WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUMP INFRONT OF BERSERKER!" **Everyone yells at me.

"Uh well I just wanted to stop anyone else from getting hurt." I cautiously respond in case they want to yell again.

Stareeee.

"Was that wrong?"

Saber answers. "Normally no, but I'm sure that situation definitely counts as an exception."

"Emiya san, Saber and the others are Heroic Spirits. That means that what is dangerous to us isn't as much to them." Luvia says.

"No, I'm sure that was dangerous for anybody, human or spirit." Archer corrects Luvia then she continues. "Either way you need to be more careful. Remember your Servant is here to protect you during the War, so rely on him more."

"See Shirou, it _was_ dangerous. You should have listened to me. Like she said."

Sabers 'I told you so' reminds me of all the weapons he wanted me to take; like the hunting rifle, handguns and that huge battle axe. "Saber you said it was a trap and it wasn't. We just got randomly attacked." I correct him but he just stares harder at me then gives a sigh. "Yeah well regardless from now on you're taking more stuff wherever you go. Especially with your magic restricted."

"What!" "Shirou shut up and just accept it." His stare is now burning me, telling me to just give up and say yes.

"Ok." "Good boy."

Then from the kitchen Rin exclaims loudly. "There, it done!" The 4 of us at the table then rush over to see the kitchen.

It was immaculate, nothing like what it had been just an few minutes ago. All the utensils were back in their proper spot and the floor was now visible and sparkled.

Archer was the first to speak. "You used magic didn't you?"

"….. Well at least it clean now." Was all Rin could say back to Archer.

Then the Servants suddenly react. "Masters a Servant is here!"

In the distance we hear someone yell at the top of their lungs. "**SHIROUUUU!**"

That kind of ferocious yell can only come from one person. "Worse it's Fujinee. And I don't have breakfast started yet!"

"What do you want us to do Shirou?" Looking over at Saber and the other, I see another problem. How do I explain this?

"I don't know Saber. I don't know."

* * *

Taiga's instincts were burning. She had heard that Shirou was injured and now like the animal that she embodies she is charging towards the Emiya dwelling.

Along the way the wild tigress spots a doe with purple top. Increasing her speed, she now targets the pray that stands before her and with a mighty roar, pounces.

"**SAKURAAAAA!**"

"Huh, Fujimura sensaaaiiii!?"

The helpless doe now caught in the mighty grip of the charging tigress hangs stiff and paralyzed as the pair continues forward to her (feeders) den. As soon the den is insight she charges past the gate ignoring its natural defensive properties.

Now within the artificial structure, she releases another roar of dominance and hungry intent.

"**SHIROUUUU!**"

The natural scent of food that is often in the air was absent alerting her something's was wrong. Removing her shoes, the doe and tigress continue to where they and the cub gather for meals. Entering the room she spots her cub surrounded by strangers, with looks of shock due to her abrupt arrival.

Dropping the doe, the mighty tigress rushes. She mows down the threat around her cub and protectively clutches the red head tightly.

"Shirou! Are you alright? I heard you were hurt! What happened?! Did they do this to you?! Who are they?! Oh no! Why aren't you breathing?! Whats wrong?! Shirou what's happening to you?! Shirou!"

"Hey, uh lady I think your kinda smothering him to death." Looking up I stare at the red strangers.

"Who are you and what have you done to my Chefirou!" A look of confusion crosses their faces.

"I thought his name was Shirou?" A young man in blue asks turning to two girls in the kitchen.

"Huh? Tohsaka san, Edelfelt San?!"

"Fujimura sensei?"

"What happened here?!" I demand with a smaller roar

"Fujimura sensei, perhaps you should sit down and let us explain. Hey guys what do you want to do about breakfast? If you'd like we could tr"

"NO." For some reason the 4 males in the room immediately shoot down Tohsaka's offer to cook.

Shirou then frees himself from my hold then turns to Sakura.

"Sakura san, can you help me with breakfast. I haven't started anything yet." Then the man in red grabs Shirou by the his shirt and starts dragging him to the table. "Oh no you don't. You still need to rest. (Looking over to Sakura.) Sorry but you're going to have to cook solo cause he's hurt (Pointing at Shirou) and I don't trust them (Pointing at Tohsaka and Edelfelt) to make breakfast again."

"Again?" Sakura and I ask simultaneously.

"Don't ask." The young man in blue tells us then takes a seat on the table.

Then the large black man who's been quiet up until now directs me to the table and says. "Ma'am, please have a seat so that we may discuss what had occurred last night concerning Shero Emiya san's injuries."

Following his suggestion I take my normal spot on the table followed by Tohsaka and Edelfelt. Looking around the table at the 6 others present I begin my questioning. "Sooo, What happened?"

* * *

At the same time elsewhere in a building in the Shinto region of Fuyuki City, Rider whisper 2 word as he stared at a computer screen. "Found it." With the Charger located all he needed to do was to take it back.

However there was a problem.

After hacking the police traffic cams, I finally found my car driving around like a monkey on steroids I managed to get a good look at the child driver and the other 2 occupants, one in the passenger seat and another in the backseat.

At first it just looked like a bunch of kids out for a joyride. I don't care what they were using to take away control the Charger, once he killed them it wasn't going matter.

But now I see a possible reason as to how they took the car; now there were 4 people in the car. And it wasn't because they stopped and picked someone up. No, watching on one camera I saw the 4th wasn't in the car, but then on the next camera, not even 10 second later he was there in the back seat.

He must be some kind of Spiritual entity, and since this was the Holy Grail War that meant there was a good chance that he was a Servant.

It didn't change the fact that I was going to get back the Charger but at the moment I'm going to need to prepare. Facing an unknown Servant with the strategic advantage of numbers and the tactical advantage of having one of my Noble Phantasms was not good. This means that I'm going to need to get several things ready to confront them.

"I'm going to need to start accelerating the original plan. I might be ready by tonight or tomorrow if I work fast. Better get started."

Leaving the useless idiot where he was sleeping I head out to gather the necessary supplies.

* * *

Class: Lancer

Master: Luviagelita Edelfelt

True Name: Teal'c of Chulak

Sex: Male

Alignment: Lawful Good

Strength: A

Endurance: A+

Agility: A

Mana: D

Luck: E

Class Skills-Magical Resistance (C) - Cancel spells with a chant below two verses.

Riding (B) - Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races.

Personal Skills:

Battle Continuation -A: - Makes possible to fight even with deadly injuries and can remain alive so long as one does not receive a decisive fatal wound. As a Jaffa, Teal'c is able to fight even with near fatal wounds. Best shown when he rescued his son and master from imprisonment on the planet Erebus while physically weakened and injured.

Projectile (Goa'uld, Tauri weapons) -E~C: Can use multiple long range weapons. Projectiles can include any weapon that he has used in his life ranging from Ma'Tok staff to Milkor MGL.

Charisma –C: The natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. A rare talent. Teal'c successfully led the Jaffa to rise up and rebel against the tyranny of their false gods. Teal'c was one of the leaders of the rebellion and a strong advocate for freedom.

Guardian knight –A: temporary raises defensive power when protecting others. Teal'c's loyalty to his friends and people is unquestionable and unwavering. His determination is best seen when he trekked miles over forests and mountains on the planet of Celestis to rescue his friends that had been captured by Ori.

Vitrification –C: a serene state of mind. A mental protection that nullifies mental interference. As a trained and dedicated Jaffa warrior, Teal'c has some protection against mental control. If affected, through the Rite of M'al Sharran(Removal of his Symbiote and survive near death.) he can nullify all mental interference if successful or die very painfully.

Noble Phantasm:

_Regenerative Healing Factor – The Symbiote_: As a Jaffa Teal'c has a Prim'ta (Goa'uld Symbiote) in his stomach which allows him to autonomously heal himself without the use of Prana. It will heal any injury minus decapitation or complete heart destruction. Injury's will be functionally healed (60-70%) but Kelno'reem (Sleeping/meditation) will be required to fully heal (100%) his injury's. If the Symbiote is removed from the pouch for more than 8 hours Teal'c will die, however tretonin may be used as a substitute for the Symbiote but will result in the loss of the autonomous healing. RankB- Anti Unit

_Style Change –loyalty to the Jaffa/Tauri_: Teal'c's double allegiance to his people and his friends enable him to change the style of dress, tactics, and weapons he uses in battle. Under the Style Jaffa he will dress in leather and chainmail armor or Jaffa cloak, fight as a true honorable warrior, and use Jaffa Ma'Tok staffs, Zat'nik'tels, Staff cannons, and other Jaffa used weapons. Under the Style Tauri he will dress in military BDU, fight valiantly as a soldier, and will use staff weapons, Zats, FN P90, M60 machine gun, SPAS-12 semiautomatic shotgun and others Tauri weapon he has used. RankB+ Anti Unit

?

* * *

Authors notes: lot of spoilers for Teal'c and some for Saber.

Any thoughts on Saber's and Shirou's similar beginning or role model dads? They gained their path in life from their dads but they were also did get mess up in one way or another because of it.

For anyone wondering how the Style Change Noble Phantasm will work, basically it's like a personalitys disorder a Servants version of Ore Scale. Think being able to control going back and forth Arturia Saber and Alter Saber at will. Two servants in one. as far as how they will fight.

Major thanks to Third Fang for letting me borrow his OC Marjatta Edelfelt from From Fake Dreams (Awesome). Spoiler but you'll see her around. Thanks again Third Fang.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: So what I lied

* * *

As Rin and Luvia were walking down the street enjoying a good day out together, they lost track of the time and soon it was dark.

As they wandered the dark streets alone and scared they encountered some seemingly good Samaritans. But their hopes were soon dashed when they were viciously forced into a dark passageway were they were about to be ruthlessly abused.

Suddenly their salvation came in the form of a red streak that flashed onto the scene like a firefly in the night. In a show of great heroism the dashing savior quickly dispatches with the nefarious tricksters who almost had their way with the two innocent girls but in exhaustion the hero collapsed.

Worried for his condition Rin and Luvia rush to his aid where they realize that their hero is also their mild mannered classmate Shirou Emiya.

To their relief three wise men of whom they were acquainted with came to their assistance and took the three young students away to a place of refuge, the Edelfelt mansion.

Their Shirou recovered his strength and awoke but before words of thanks were exchanged disaster struck again in the form of robbers who broke in, stole many valuables, and vandalized a great deal of the Edelfelt mansion.

The three wise men managed to drive them away but in shock and concern they whisked away the in peril students to a place they are told to be safe, the Emiya estate. Here they rested and just moments ago awoke to face the new day.

"LIKE HELL I'M BELIEVING ANY OF THAT!"

Huh, guess Fujimura's not buying it. Then again since Rin and Luvia made up this really half-assed story together while trying to out lie each other, it's not surprising.

Good for her she didn't fall for it, bad for us she didn't fall for it.

As Archer tries to think of some way to salvage the coverup along with the other guys, he watches the fuming teacher slash sister like person to Shirou.

"There's no way any of that actually happened! First of all I heard that Shirou was hurt what about that?!" Then pointing at us three Servants. "And you three! You're obviously not from around here! What are you doing here?! I can't believe such shady people are acquaintances to our schools best girls! And I know you're not Shirou's friends so who are you really!?"

Saber and me start looking ourselves over while Lancer did his raise eyebrow thing.

Shady? Us? Really?

A big black guy with a gold thing on his forehead, shady? Nah not a chance.

A guy with a phony, partial Mohawk looking thing, (I think I'll call it a fakehawk. Name subject to change depending on what Saber says) shady? Pfft, give me a break.

This manly looking awesome ponytail guy, shady? Hah! Not even if turtleducks lost its shell.

Ok so maybe the other two sure but me, I redefined charming.

"Perhaps we should introduce ourselves for a more proper explanation." Lancer spoke up to start trying to repair the damage our masters have started. At least this way we can get her to at least stop growling at us.

"My name is Murray Lancer and I am Luviagelita Edelfelt sama's servant."

Then again why bother lying if we can if we can just tell it like it is.

All us magically affiliated characters start staring at Lancer for just dropping that bombshell. Considering he abandoned a fight to kill Shirou for finding out our secret, I didn't expect him to just tell someone so easily.

"Lancer?" But he just continued.

"I am currently a butler-in-training in the service of the Edelfelt household and am currently serving as her private servant to gain experience in my new trade." Ahh, that's much better. At least it sounds better than just being three stray wise men. Though I do like that wise part.

"While retrieving my master from late personal business we came across Shero Emiya san as he was heading home. After a short conversation we offered to escort him home in our vehicle to which he accepted. It was then that we encountered an accident."

Saber seemed to catch on since he took over our new story. "Yeah, I'm sorry. This is all my fault. You see I'm the person that hit them with my car. We weren't hurt too bad, just some light scratches and bruises. Shirou was hurt when uu, a glass shard got stuck in his arm. It wasn't anything really bad." When Saber stopped Shirou picked it up again.

"Don't worry Fuji nee it wasn't that bad. They offered to take me to a hospital but I told them I didn't need one."

Lancer began again. "We were still concerned for him so the three of us accompanied him back to his house. Once here we assisted him in removing the shard and applying first aid to Shero Emiya san."

Ok, me and Rin are going to need a story here too. And so I take the reins of the story. "That's where we come in. Hi I'm Archer Hakoda and I'm a distant cousin of Rin."

Feels weird to use dads name like this but it was either this or Avatar Archer.

Wait, why are we even using our Servant names?

….Damn, I missed it! I could have given myself some really cool name like Razor or Lionheart.

Duwa! The story! Ok uh…

"I just happened to be in town and thought 'Hey it been so long since I saw her. I think I'll drop by and say hi.' So I look her up." I could feel everyone's worry over how my story is going, so I turn my head and give them a wink to assure them before continuing.

"Anyways after we talked for a while we came to a very interesting topic, Shirou. After hearing her talk about him for a bit my Tsundere sense started going off and I realized my shy little cousin needed some help. I finally got her to bring me here when we found the whole mess with him hurt and all. We decided to help and after we were done, we all decided to stay the night to look after Shirou. And now we're here, in your interrogation Fujimura. "

Everyone just stared dumbly at me. Saber was doing his best to not bust out laughing, but Rin's expression was just priceless. She was frozen where she sat, her eyes were unfocused to anything, and her jaw was just hanging loose like a door hinge.

It would be pretty funny if I wasn't feeling something similar to what I felt whenever I faced Azula in a fight. Yup, I'm gonna be feeling that bad kinda burning between my legs tonight.

Back to the stunned crowd, nobody really moved until Fujimura started questioning us again. "Ok? So that's it?"

"Yeah."

"Pretty much."

"Indeed."

"So don't worry Fuji nee."

She took a second to look us over again before she crossed her arms and addressed us.

"Fine, I can accept that since Shirou says so, but I still have some questions for you. Like why are _you_ still here?" Pointing at Saber, she clearly was not liking him.

But then again we did just make him our scapegoat by blaming Shirou's injury on him so it should've been expected.

"Again I'm sorry about all this but I do want to fix my mess. I already talked to Shirou about this and while he accepted my apology, I still want to do something to make this right. So while he heals up I will be taking care of him for a while."

"Like a nurse." I point out.

"Uuuh, I'd prefer private healthcare provider, but yeah."

"Wait!" The girl cooking (hopefully a better) breakfast called out to us.

"Yeah, if anyone's going to be taking care of Shirou then it should be us! Not some stranger who caused all this. We don't even know your name!" She's not making this easy for Saber.

The rest of us should be able to understand what Saber was up to. He's trying to make a reason for him to stay here. But being nothing more than a stranger without even a name doesn't really give him much credit.

"Sorry your right I should've introduced myself before. I'm Bruce Williams. (Hey he took my idea!) I'm an FBI Agent here on vacation." As he says that he pulls out a badge from his coat to prove he is who he says he is.

Why the hell does he have something like that, or ever how?

As Fujimura looks over the badge and ID she stares at it and him in surprise but then like a lightbulb flashed in her mind she surprised us. "Alright, I guess it's alright I mean you are American FBI so you that is at least something. And since you're offering to stay and take care of him then I suppose that's fine Agent Williams san."

All right seems that's taken care of. "But just know that if you try anything weird like trying to hurt MY Shirou then I promise; _you will regret it._" But then hearing that last part is a bit unnerving. But if it still gets us a free pass here then that's cool. I hope.

"Fujimura sensei, are you sure? I mean he is still just a stranger. He could be dangerous." The girl Sakura seemed personally against it.

It's not unusual she would be concerned. Putting her friends' safety in the hands of a complete stranger. Hell that would make me nervous too if I had to trust the safety of one of the old Gaang to some unknown person who just hurt them.

"Don't worry Sakura. No matter what happens Shirou is always under the protection of Fuyuki's one and only Taiga Fujimura! So don't worry." The fact that she seems to have something in mind bothers me but it's not my problem now. Saber can handle himself so it shouldn't be a problem.

"Alright then. If you say so Sensei." So she says but I'm sure I'm not the only one who caught that dark glare she flashed at Saber.

"Breakfast is ready." Sakura said bit more joyfully.

"Here let me help Matou san." Rin offered getting up to help.

"No!"

All the guys in the room yelled out while getting up to block her path.

"You guys better get out of my way_. Now_." Her words made it hard to choose what to do, especially with her Breakfast still fresh in our minds but we continued to stand our ground.

"Ok men huddle." Saber suggested and we all huddled like a sports team to decide what to do.

In the corner of my eye I could see Rin's eye twitch in annoyance at us, but that didn't matter this may be a matter of life and death.

* * *

In a dark room in an abandoned unused building the tall ominous presence of Rider looms over another who stood chained, beaten, his chest heaving, and his body bleeding on the patterned wall he is tied to.

"BastaGHHAAGH!" Before the captured figure could finish a barely audible curse Rider slashed his throat.

Standing there with the sound painful gurgles and dripping blood echoing in the room only one word can be heard from him. "One."

* * *

Some people may say we are exaggerating, that it not that bad but that doesn't matter.

It _WAS_ that bad.

Saber didn't care what Rin or Luvia said, whatever they cooked up was truly something not of this world.

So when Rin offered to help, every warning bell in my body told me not to let her.

After our man huddle we negotiated with Rin to let me help set up the table since it was now my responsibility as a productive member of this household. Or something like that.

Anyway the food was great. "Wow. I can't remember the last time I had such a great meal." My compliment just spilled out. I'm used to fast food and microwaved meals so a homemade meal like what she made was like fairies….. was like snow dancing on my taste buds.

"Good job Sakura. You really have improved a lot. I'm not sure what else I could teach you." Shirou's statement about 'teach her' made me wonder what he could do. Not just normal thing but his other skills like fighting and magics too.

Sakura just sat (or kneeled.) there with an increasing blush taking over her face. "No senpai. I still need a lot of practice before I'm as good as you. But thank you."

"You cook Shirou?" I ask curious as to what my still unfamiliar partner could do.

"Yeah. I guess I'm good but Sakura you really are catching up. I may need start practicing some new recipes soon just so I can stay master of the kitchen." Her blush just kept growing. At this rate her head may just pop.

Looking over at Rin and Luvia I think I can see some streaks of what looked like jealousy flash on and off their faces. Not sure if it about the cooking or about Shirou's compliment, either way they're not taking it well.

"It was definitely a delightful meal but we should be preparing for School should we not?" Luvia said

.…."GHAHAAAAA! I'm gonna be late!" Fujimura shot up where she sat (or kneeled) "I'll see you guys at schoooool!" And just like that we listen to her yell as she bolted out the door and was gone.

"Huh. That was something. So now what?" I ask everyone left.

"We should probably start getting ready to go too." Shirou responded like it was obvious.

"Whoa hold on kid. You sure you should be going to school? You did just get hurt last night. Maybe you should rest today. Really, what's one day of school?" I tell him.

"He's right Emiya. You should take the day off. Healed or not you're probably still weak from everything." Rin supported my advice.

"Emiya kun you should relax today. You can take the time to get better acquainted with Williams san." Luvia backed us up in our suggestion.

Shirou took a moment to think about it then gave us our reply. "Don't worry guys I'll be fine. I just have to take it easy right? That shouldn't be a problem then. Anyways I'm going to clean up and get ready to go. You guys should get ready to go too, you don't want to be late right?" While he did have a point about the others, he was still avoiding his own issue.

"Edelfelt sama, Shero Emiya is correct. If you do not wish to mare you attendance then perhaps we should go." Lancer agreed.

"I suppose. But you are not thinking of going to school are you Emiya kun?"

"Yeah it won't be a problem."

"Um Senpai?" Sakura's concern was clear in her tone.

While she didn't know what really happened, the way the rest of us were acting was probably putting her on edge. She's already suspicious of me so I might as well not give her anymore reason's to be.

"Alright then get ready, but I want to talk to you before you go." Everyone gave me a curious look before accepting it and moving on.

"Come on Rin lets go. You need to go to school too right." "Right. Let's go then Archer."

Getting up she begins to head down the hallway when she turns around "I'll see you at school Emiya." And with that message she leaves.

"We'll be going too. I'll see you at school Emiya kun." Luvia also heads out with Lancer on her heels.

"Um senpai?" Sakura began to ask.

"You should probably head out without me today. I might be late and I'd hate to make you late too."

She was really hesitant to leave but she seemed to accept his reason and started to head out too, but not before shooting one last scornful glare at me. Geeze she really has it in for me.

Once she was gone I called out to Shirou. "Hey when you're done meet me in the shed."

"Alright." As he goes to get ready I head out to the shed to start getting something ready for him.

* * *

"Hey Rin. What do you plan to do?" Walking to school with Archer visible next to her, his vague question only confused Rin as she wondered what he meant.

"About what?" I ask him.

"About Shirou, Luvia, and you."

"What about us?"

"Well we may have some issues that you may want to think about."

"If you're talking about Berserker, don't worry me and Edelfelt agreed that working together to defeat Berserker is the best plan."

"Ok while that is something, it not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about your _relationship_ with the others."

"What?" I send a confused look at him but he just keeps going.

"Rin be honest what do you plan to do about you and Shirou?"

What's he talking about. As far as I'm concerned allying with Shirou and the others is only a way to handle Berserker. I may have some respect for him and the way he lives his life but in the end he's really an idiot who does insane stunts.

That's right before when I was still in Middle School I watched Shirou try a high jump over and over even though it he couldn't reach it. He never gave up, his determination was just amazing as he kept trying getting up every time he failed. But that's not what important now. He is a Master so sooner or later we are going to face each other

"We may be working together but in the end were enemy's along with Edelfelt."

"So for now you're saying 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' Huh?"

"Right." Saying that I expect our conversation to be over but Archer just keeps talking.

"I get that. Berserker is a problem so whatever can help, helps. But what I want to know is what happens after that. The way you're talking makes it sound like you're going to stab them in the back the second it done."

"I would never do that! I can't stand such tactics." Archer's statement really got under my skin. More than usual. As the head of the Tohsaka family I would never do something as lowly and inelegant as that.

"Ok ok. I'm not trying to slander you or anything just that you're being a bit _dishonest_ aren't you?"

I really can't get what he's trying to say. Dishonest? I lie every day to nearly everyone, that's just a part of fulfilling my family's duty as the Family Head. "What are you trying to say Archer?"

"Alright Rin I'll be straight. Are you alright leaving Shirou to Luvia?"

"Wha"

"Better yet what do you want in all this?"

So that's what he wants to know. My intentions for the Grail.

"If what you wanted to know is what my wish is then you should have just asked. There was no need to be so round about in asking. My goal for participating in this is because of my family's duty."

"Duty?"

"Yes, it's the Tohsaka family's responsibility to fight for the Grail. A responsibility which has been passed on from my father to me. As for my wish, I have none. However I can't say there isn't something personal I hope to resolve before this is over."

Archer suddenly paled as he was suddenly cast in an unknown red light which began to overtake him.

After some time he seemed able to ask his next question.

"So uhh, you're doing all this mostly because of your father?"

For some reason I flashback to the last time I see him. That day when he left to compete in the previous Holy Grail War he gave me the Jewel pendent that I've kept these past ten years. That Pendent was precious to me, it was a memento that reminds my everyday of magus I strive to be like.

"Yes. I hope that I can earn prestige to my family's name by obtaining the Holy Grail which my family has sought for 200 years. It's the only way can both prove myself to my father and honor his teachings."

Archer then looks very exasperated then his expression changes to a pensive one.

"Hummm, does that make you more like Zuko trying to prove yourself to your father, or Azula trying to be the perfect daughter for your father."

"Who?"

"Whatever, that kind of a letdown Rin."

What? I let him down?

"I guess even you wouldn't understand what I went thru when my father was killed." I say

"Actually I do know how it feels to have someone close to me killed. And as to why I am disappointed don't worry, it's nothing really." Putting his hands in the pockets of the hoodie he was wearing he starts to walk ahead of me.

'Don't worry' nothing. I obviously remind him of someone he would rather not remember. Guess we're an incompatible pair after all.

Well since we were just talking about it I guess I could ask him why he's participating. "Archer what do you want the Holy Grail for?"

He stopped and turned around to face me and with a big smile he answers. "I don't." And then he fades back to Spirit Form.

"Wait! What does that mean?! Archer you Clown!

* * *

Well as hectic as that was we managed to pull thru somehow.

Shirou finished taking a quick shower and was now getting his uniform while thinking about what Saber wanted to talk about. Best guess is something about the Holy Grail.

I'm still not sure what I should be doing about all this but one things for sure, it not something I can just leave alone. Like it or not I'm involved and that means that I have a responsibility to stop anyone form  
dying because of it.

Once in my uniform and my school bag in hand, I head out to the shed to see what Saber has to say. "Ok Saber I'm here or should I be calling you Bruce Williams?"

I remember the name and the badge that he gave to Fuji nee and wondered if he was a detective or something before he became a hero.

"Oh that, don't worry Saber's fine. That stuff I told Fujimura was all fake anyways. In the Holy Grail Wars a Servants identity is valuable, which is why we all use our class titles for names."

"Class?"

"Yeah, that's right you still don't know everything do you. Ok, how about waiting a bit for that or you could ask the girls too, you still need to get to school soon don't you?"

Gha, this guy. Now that I think about it he still hasn't explained anything has he? "Fine. So what did you want talk about?"

"Are you feeling better?" Saber asks.

"Yeah, I'm feeling great. Why?"

"Just didn't want to feel too guilty about this." Coming closer to me I didn't see his fist until it smacks me in the face and knocks me down.

"Gha!?" Rubbing my cheek I start yelling at him "Hey! What was that for?!"

"That was for being an idiot and jumping in front of every dangerous thing you come across!"

"Like when?!"

"Like when Lancer was trying to shoot you, jumping into those girls line of fire, and of course that thing with frickin Berserker!"

"I had to do something! You expect me to just sit back and let people kill each other for no reason?!"

"No, but next time you should remember that you're not doing this alone. I hate saying it but I'm your Servant. If something happens to you it bad for me too. And also I'm sure everyone else would be worried too, like Fujimura and Sakura their your family right? Well I can tell you from experience that making them worried like that hurts them more then whatever happens to you."

His word hurt. I know he's right in my head, they would worry about me. But in my heart I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do what I did.

It's just right, to me being able to help is just natural and I know that whatever Saber says won't change that.

"I know Saber but"

"Ok stop."

"Huh?"

Before I can give any explanation I'm suddenly interrupted.

"Yeah. Ok let's just move on. This is probably another conversation that could take a while so we can just pick it tonight." Saber moved on.

"The reason I brought you here is to give you some stuff to take to school."

"Oh no."

"Oh yeah. And this time you are taking them, no argument." Grabbing me by the shoulder he pulls me to the back of the car that was still in the shed and popping the trunk he pulls out a duffle bag which he hands to me.

"Saber I can't take this."

"Oh yeah you are."

"No Saber they won't let me take this into the school."

Saber then glares at me but he must have figured I was right so with a sigh he took back the bag. "Fine very bare necessities then."

He began taking something out of the bag and placing them on the hood of the car while telling me what they are. "First and foremost you're going to need this."

Pointing to the black handgun and showing me the magazine. "9mm. The guns already loaded with blessed silver, iron tipped bullets, it's good against a wide range of supernatural crap including Servants; it burned Berserker last night at least."

Then showing me another clip. "These are iron wrought rounds, still good just doesn't cover some things like werewolves, zombies and few other monsters. Irons probably better against Servants but can't say for sure, still gotta test it out when Archer gets back."

When he paused his explanation to hand me the gun while showing me how to use it, I just stand their stupefied. "Zombies?! Werewolves!"

"Yeah don't worry unless their happens to be some here then I doubt you'll need to worry about those. Anyways, next is this anti-possession amulet; pretty self-explanatory." Putting the amulet on top of my head he continues with what looks like a broken cassette player.

"This is a EMF meter. It measures electromagnetic frequencies. I tried it out on Archer before you woke up and it work the same as on ghost so if you come across anything supernatural it will alert you. Oh just don't use it near a powerline or things with a high current cause they screw with the readings." Putting the EMF in my pocket and before he moves on to the next thing he asks a question.

"Do you have a cell phone?"

"No."

"Alright, here." He then tosses me a cell phone.

"My numbers on speed dial 1. Call if something happens." Grabbing the last thing on the hood and tossing the bag back in the trunk he hands me what I assume is the last thing.

"Last but not least, don't ever be caught without a knife."

Going over the list of things he just gave me I only have one thing to say. "You can't be serious. There's no way I'm going to school with a gun and knife."

"Listen Shirou, there are two ways this is going to happen. You willingly take these and keep them or I tape and or superglue them on your body. Your choice."

Some choice. I start putting the amulet around my neck and phone in my pocket. I keep the gun items and knife in my hand while looking at Saber. "I can't take these."

"Yes you are."

"If I get caught with these"

"Don't get caught. I never did."

"Yeah well...Wait 'never'? You mean you actually took weapons to school ?!"

"Only the knife, unless dad said to take a gun."

"What kind of dad tells his son to take a gun to school!"

"A precautious one. He gave my brother a .45 as a kid when he said sacred of the dark." More like a paranoid dad.

I got to figure out how not to accept these, if I take them and am found out no telling what will happen to me. "No way Saber. Not happening."

After handing him the weapons I kind of expected some kind of counterargument or threat from him, but instead he just glares at me. Actually for some reason it feels like theirs more than one heavy stare on me.

"Shirou."

"Yeah Saber?"

"What kind of magic can you use?"

"Uh, Reinforcement and Structural Grasping, why?"

….. "Turn around and lift you shirt."

"Uh, sure?" doing as he said I start getting worried about what he's going to do, so I ask.

"Hey why am I doing this?"

"Simple I'm going to Superglue these on you back so hold still."

"Dga!?" I try to get away but he grabs me by my raised shirt and slams me into the hood of the car and holds me down tight so I can't move. "Hold still will ya."

"Saber! No wait STOOOOOP!"

* * *

"Caster, what am I looking at?" Caren was currently looking at a drawing depicting what looked like one guy trying to rape another on top of a car.

Caster looked at Caren next to her with a straight but red face and calmly responded. "Don't worry Master it's not what it looks like. Though I will admit it does look rather awkward."

Saying that last part, her light blush grows redder and brighter. After a brief silence of looking at the compromising picture, Caster broke the silence while looking away from her drawing.

"Master, I was wondering about the thing you said you um…_ordered_ was it? May I ask what it was?"

"It'll be here tonight. You'll see then. Why do you ask? Don't you already know?"

"You know I wouldn't invade someone's privacy if I don't have to. It's just that when someone gets a phone call this early in the morning, it makes people a little curious, that's all."

"That's too bad. So Caster do you have any plans for today?" Caren asks.

"No Master. Do you have something you would like to do today?"

"I do. Let's go Caster." Joining her Master' side, Caster begins to wonders what her Master was plotting now.

"Where are we going?"

"We have some work to do for tonight."

Considering she said she wasn't going to make any moves just yet makes that statement odd.

"Why the change of heart Master?"

"I find I can no longer tolerate Riders actions. Make no mistake, we won't personally engage, but we do have other options we can explore."

* * *

"Ok, so maybe that was a bit excessive but at least Shirou taking the stuff with him."

Once Saber restrained Shirou, he superglued the sheath of the knife onto his left side under his arm pointing downward so he can pull it out if he needs it and it won't be to noticeable.

Once he did that Shirou just gave up resisting, took the gun and willingly tucked the pistol into his pants. Nobody said anything else so with his head hung low in shame Shirou shuffled off to school.

"I do feel bad about how were going to get it off, but we can worry about that later."

Walking over to the Impala, Saber leans on the car and keeps talking. "His state of mind has me more worried than that. He reminds of how I was when I first sold my soul, I didn't care what happened to me to the point of just being plain suicidal."

Moving to the trunk he pulled out a cooler and a toolbox while still speaking. "Someone unstable like that is at least easy to read. He probably thinks something like 'My life doesn't matter so long as they're alive.' Or close to it. He'll probably keep being reckless like last night in the future."

Pulling out a bottle of beer, he pops it open and starts drinking while inspecting the Impala for damages. Once done looking, he leans on the wall and keeps drinking. "Well at least the damage is not as bad as it looks. I should be done in time to get Shirou when he's done."

Putting the half empty bottle on the stairs he heads over to the Impala to begin repairs. "Damn. I got one big pain-in-the-ass for a master. First he drops my baby 15 meters, then ends up knowing nothing about what he got into, and finally he's suicidal idiot. Son of a bitch."

Complaining like he was, anyone watching him would probably think Saber was going crazy talking to himself. But then again the person narrating here isn't Saber and he wasn't alone.

"Dean, oh sorry. I mean Saber, I'm sure we have problems right now, but remember that's how it was for us almost all the time. When it wasn't the demons it was the angels, and don't forget the leviathans. And of course there were all the monsters too. What I'm trying to say is it's not the worst thing to happen to us."

Saber looks at me uncertainly.

"Seriously Dean, look at me; I should be the one complaining. Especially after what Archer started calling me." Dea ahh, Saber stood up to get a better look at me, he didn't have to turn or anything since he was working on repairing me.

"Yeah I know Sam. I still don't know how you got in their again, but don't worry we'll figure something out, we always do after all. Besides there's no way I'm letting you stay in inside my Baby like this again"

Yep, again.

Currently I, Sam Winchester, am the Impala, _again_.

When Dean/Saber was first summoned I was brought as the Impala but between the crash and Lancer shooting me, I passed out.

I didn't regain consciousness until I heard Dean and Archer talking about their Masters and someone being tsundere while Dean was testing some of our Hunting gear on Archer.

When I started talking, I scared the hell out of them. Saber almost tried to exorcise me. Once they got used to it and figured out who I was, it didn't cause any more problems.

Until Archer started giving me nicknames, Dean thankfully dragged him away while he was ranting off some of his alias ideas.

He came back two more times; first with Archer again to get clothe, then with his (or our) Master.

"I doubt it will be as easy as last time." I tell him. At least last time we knew who did it and how, we just didn't know what he was at first.

"You know, I'm surprised you didn't try to stop me Sammy. Usually you'd tell me I shouldn't force him to do things he doesn't want to."

"Dean I'm a car. What was I going to do? Honk? At least remember to get some nail-polish remover later."

"Can't I just borrow yours?"

"Dean don't tempt me."

The two of us just stay in silence for a while before Dean, no wait Saber. Damn it I keep forgetting and because of me Archer now knows who Saber is.

Anyways Saber broke our silence. "Hey Sam, what do you want to do? Or better what _can_ you do? Cause if you want to help me fight in this war then we may wanna figure wh"

"Dean Behind you!"

"KEKEKEKEKE!"

Ducking to avoid the watery flying …"What the hell is that?!"

"It's Breakfast!" Saber shouted while pulling out some kind of snake thing from his shirt. "What?! Breakfast? Dean what going on!?"

"Here it comes!"

"KEKEKEKEKEKEKEK!"

* * *

Class: Archer

Master: Rin Tohsaka

True Name: Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe

Sex: Male

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Strength: C

Endurance: C

Agility: C

Mana: D

Luck: E

Class Skills-Independent Action-(C) Archer is capable of remaining in the world for 24 hours without a contract. As most of his legend was together with his friends his rank dropped.

Magic Resistance- (D) Cancel Single-Action spells. Due to his ignorance to magic this ability is low.

Personal Skills

Charisma: The natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. A rare talent.

C – capable of taking command of an army. Can precisely relay strategies and tactics to allies.

Chinese Martial Arts-B: A Chinese rationality. A value that measures one's mastery of the martial arts that made becoming one with the universe as its objective. Its difficulty to learn is of the highest level and, unlike other Skills, it is at A Rank that one is at a level where he is said to have finally "learned it". Sokka is a trained expert in Southern and northern water tribe style, Kyoshi fighting style, and Fire Nation Swordsmanship.

Military tactics-A+: is tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one's own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or when dealing against an enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasm. Learned from his father and honed in his travels around the world, Sokka is a capable leader able to take command of an army. This ability allows Sokka to quickly and effectively create stratagies against Anti Army Noble Phantasms.

Protection from ice-B: increases resistance to all cold type attacks and weather. This is an ability that was honed as a result of living and surviving in the South Pole.

Subversive activities -B: is the talent to reduce the enemy forces in the preliminary stages, before going into battle. An expert of traps. However, the higher is the ranking of this Skill, the more one's spiritual status as a hero declines. Sokka is an expert on subterfuge. Not only able to deliver but also able to see through deception.

Riding-C: The expertise to ride animals and vehicles. He can ride simple vehicles and animals. Cannot ride Phantasm Race.

Noble Phantasm:

_Hakoda's Boomerang – Sokka's Identity_: Sokka's trademark weapon given to him by his father Hakoda. He throws it and it comes back. Requires little Prana for activation and will return even if lost or destroyed. Due to his legend of defeating Combustion Man, Boomerang receives an EX rank when facing any opponent using a psychic technique. Rank:E~A+ Anti Unit

_Sokka's Jian – Space Sword:_ This black Jian (Chinese straight sword) is Sokka's primary weapon. Personally forged for and by Sokka from meteorite iron this extremely durable sword in the hands of Sokka can cut thru most materials with little to moderate difficulty. Requires little Prana for use. Rank:B Anti Unit

?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: In The Shadows

* * *

They say when you meet a monster you know to run, but is it the same about villains? They're both evil so normal people obviously should, they both stand against and harm good afterall. To the normal people who have no alignment to either good or bad, an encounter with evil can make them twisted or evil too.

You see, monsters are perceived as a source of terror and destruction. But they're more like the deliverer of evil rather than evil themselves. They carry the evil with them and the people around them just become its victim. An encounter simply results in death.

It like leisurely walking around and then finding yourself stabbed by a serial killer.

Villains however can be complicated; they can be methodical, patient, sudden, or deceitful. They can harm people with more than just physical methods. And the people they target don't always die.

In fact sometimes it better for villains to keep you alive. They can manipulate you, trick you, or even sell you out, all because you're just that valuable and when you're no longer of any use that's when they kill.

For a villain, killing is like kicking away a stone that's in the way.

Monsters are instant death and villains are prolonged suffering. Put it like that what sounds like the real evil?

Assassin's answer; It doesn't really matter Sou, you'd be fucked either way.

Sitting on the trunk of the stolen parked Charger with his new Master, Iori Mutou, Assassin thinks over what happened in the two weeks he's been summoned.

The two older Zerozaki's quickly agreed to participate in the Holy Grail War after hearing about it.

Iori however was reluctant but after some relentless prodding from Hitoshiki and some seemingly kind encouragement from her Onii chan (Soushiki), she decided to join in.

Sou left for a while saying he had to do something leaving me, Hitoshiki, and Iori to deal with things here while he was gone. It seemed he didn't want to leave Iori both for his weird sister obsession and cause of her unstable maniac nature. But he seemed to trust us to take care of her while he dealt with whatever he needed to do.

Soushiki Zerozaki, Eldest brother of the Zerozaki family. Well, he wears an ordinary suit and tie to attempt to be normal but it does work as well as he thinks. His tall lanky limbs and long hair give him a weird wireframe look.

He's known as Mainlaender/Suicidal Tendencies after his weapon; a large pair of wicked looking scissors. I'm told that Zerozaki's are often better known by people outside the family by a nickname they share with their signature weapon or trait, so in his case Mainlaender.

He is usually aloof, perverted, and like to talk like he's teaching random philosophy; most of which is really weird and doesn't mean anything. But underneath his oddball exterior is a very observant, mature, and understanding older sibling who does a lot for his family. Though he watches Iori a bit too much.

So a week after Sou left, the three of us came across another Master\Servant team, a young blond girl about Iori's age dressed in a fancy blue dress who loudly declared herself to be Luviagelita Edelfelt and her Servant, a big guy in black BDUs' who called himself Lancer.

The girl was very gun ho about fighting us saying we were going to be her first pray in the Holy Grail War but Lancer held her back before we started fighting. Edelfelt was pissed but Lancer insisted that it was better to wait till more Servants appeared before they went on the offensive. Very reluctantly they stood down, but somehow thanks to Hitoshiki instead of parting ways there we ended up having dinner together in a nearby restaurant.

Our conversation was mostly centered on the Grail War which included some information I wasn't aware of. Like the Church who oversees the War and protects the losers and some of the common courtesies most Masters follow like engaging only at night and keeping everything concerning the War and magic a secret.

The rest of our conversation was just unimportant stuff that Hitoshiki kept bringing up. We got some insight over their character thanks to that.

Lancer rarely spoke unless it was necessary and when he did it was very polite. He gave the impression of perfect soldier, the kind with a light pole up their ass. The kind of person I rarely got along with when I was alive.

Well considering that he didn't fight us despite Luvia's order to did show that he's flexible about the rules if he really needs to be. He seemed to have some kind of honor code he keeps to. Something even I could respect.

He explained to us that he wants to avoid meaningless fights now and since the War has barely begun it would be better for me to save my strength. Especially since my Master isn't a Magus so I had to conserve my Prana.

It was sorta annoying how right he was.

I don't think he meant to say it out loud but he also said he was lucky being styled the way he was that night otherwise "combat engagement would have been inevitable." Still not sure what that meant but I'll find if it important later on.

Luvia on the other hand seems to be an extremely prideful girl who's eager to fight. From the way she talked about fighting in the Grail War it sounded more like some kind of obligation. Chances are she also enjoys the challenge but that's just my first impression of her when she called us 'pray'.

In the end we left, but as we left they recommended we visit the Kotomine Church and formally register as a team.

We took their advice and went to the Church.

First impressions of the place were bad. That place was just unpleasant to be around. It felt nothing like what a Church is supposed to be like, the air felt too murky to be considered holy ground.

Hitoshiki explained it best, "It was a strange void feeling. Like a bottomless pit filled with detest and rancor."

He had his own reason but for me it was just a gut feeling that all told me that going in was a really bad move.

Iori also felt something but she seemed to be having a hard time putting a name to what she felt so she simply called it "creepy".

It was decided that while it may not have been a smart idea we still would go check it out. Probably done more out of curiosity rather than an actual need to.

Inside the 'creepy' feeling only got worse.

When we went in we saw a man and a woman in the middle of a conversation.

Standing infront of the alter was the priest in charge, Kirei Kotomine. If we were looking for why the place was so 'creepy' we probably found it.

He was over 6 feet tall dressed in typical clerical cassock and a gold cross hanging around his neck.

Looks wise he looked like a normal priest. Presence wise was another story.

Looking at his eyes was pointless they were so empty it was almost like he was dead. And the way he stood, even though he looked relaxed he had no openings in his defenses. Rather than a Priest he seemed like con man getting ready to pull off the ultimate scam.

The woman sitting in the pews to our left talking to him was dressed in a fine business suit with shoulder length hair and glasses. Her presence was so professional and her stern face gave me the impression that she was an all work and no play kinda woman. All boney and no softness, not my type.

To the right side was another girl about Iori's age. Long beautiful hair and stylish clothe that gave her a refined presence. Her entire self made me think of a high class model. When she noticed our presence she gave us a gentle nod and invited us to join her.

We took her up on her offer and took the seats behind her. She greets us in a whisper. "Good evening. My name is Cera Koeller."

"More like good morning. What's a young girl like you doing here at two in the morning?" I ask her in the same whisper.

"Work. I assume that you are here for business involving the Holy Grail War."

"Yeah, we are. How do you know?"

"I am an assistant observer along with Father Kotomine for the duration of the Holy Grail War."

"Seem a bit young for such a big role."

"Not at all. Age has never inhibited my ability to manage strenuous work such as assisting in the Grail Wars."

"Hmm, mature and humble. Seems that Kotomine has himself a good little assistant." I comment.

"Does that mean you approve of my presence despite being young?" She queries.

"Nah. Just stating the obvious. You're too young to be doing this in the morning. Don't you have school?"

"No, I do not for the time being. The Holy Grail War requires my full attention so for now my personal life is on hold."

"If you're not careful you may grow old and alone you know. You should be out enjoying life. Or at least be sleeping this time of night."

"I appreciate your concern but you don't need to worry about me. My life is already self-fulfilled."

"Hmm, Really, that so."

The other two, the priest and the woman, just ignored us while I spoke with Cera. Not sure if they had heard us and chose not to say anything or if they really didn't hear us. Either way the other woman continued listening to the fakeish priest.

"Again, I apologies for any other incidents that will most likely occur in these next several weeks. I hope that you will be able to intercept any investigation that the local authorities may try to bring. It would be a problem if they were to involve themselves in this."

"Do not worry Father Kotomine, I will not allow them to interfere with your work."

"Thank you again Detective Kiyomizu. It must be such a hassle to work on damage control like this."

"There is no need for you to thank me. It is my duty to the Church after all."

The detective then gets up and leaves still ignoring us as she left.

With her gone the priest turns his attention to us.

"Welcome to the Kotomine Church. I am Kirei Kotomine the priest in charge. I am sorry that you were made to wait and I thank you for your patience. Now, how may I help you?"

"You the priest that watches over the Grail War thing?" Hitoshiki Asked.

"I am. If you are a Master do you wish to be formally introduced to the Holy Grail War? If so I can answer any questions you may have."

"Nah we just wanted to know if there was some kind of form we had to sign or something for this thing."

Kirei gave a light chuckle before continuing. "No there is not. A simple introduction would suffice."

"Alrighty then. I'm Hitoshiki Zerozaki."

Hearing his name seemed to spark something in Kirei cause his eyes were now focused on him in interest.

"One of the Zerozaki Ichizoku. I see."

Guess he's heard the Zerozaki name. Soushiki said they were a family of cutthroat murders so I assumed they were notorious, but this guy's reaction seems to imply more than just knowing them. And he knew he was one of those Zerozaki's. Soushiki may not have been clear about his families' position.

"Yeah." Grabbing Iori and putting her it the kind of headlock you would expect a competing older sibling to put a younger one in he introduces her. "And this here is, ahhh?" Or at least try to. "Iori!" She yells at him. "Yeah, Iori. She's a baby Zerozaki. She hasn't fully awakened but she's getting there. And that's Assassin, our Servant." He finishes pointing at me

"I have never heard of Zerozaki Ichizoku Father Kotomine. I do not believe them to be Magi so how do you know their family?" Koeller asked him.

"There are few within The Church that would be unfamiliar with any of Killing Families, the Zerozaki Bandits especially. After all there are few even with the use of magic that can rival the unique murderous prowess of any of the 13 Killing Families."

"Sounds like you may have fans Hitoshiki." I tell him.

Kirei chuckled again then answered. "Fandom may not be accurate Assassin san. The Church strongly disapproves of such killing that does not follow the teachings of God. However, to improve our ability to hunt and kill heretics of The Church with the upmost efficiency, Executors study the Killing Families and their activities when in training."

"To make yourselves better killers?" Hitoshiki asked.

"Correct. Studying to be first rate murderers such as yourself is one of the duty of an Executor." Kirei casually replied.

There was an awkward silence between us. Hitoshiki stared intently at the phony priest while Iori was looking at all of us confused about what is happening. Her confusion aside, I focus on the man ahead of us.

I really don't feel like calling him a priest. I've known real men of god and this guy isn't anything like them. He's reminds me more of those witch hunters from the 17th century who burned people at the stake in the name of their god and justifying his killing saying it's for his religion.

Fuck. I really hate religious killers. Their more annoying and stubborn then regular killers.

"Group of priest that actually study killin? Crap that's just messed up. Aren't you people supposed to be 'Killing is a sin, my son.' and all?" I've notices that Hitoshiki likes being original when doing anything like singing, fashion, and killing. So he probably doesn't like the idea that someone might be ripping off his style.

"An Executor is not a preacher of God's word but rather an instrument that does his will." Kirei explained more.

"Sounds more like the excuse a soldier at war gives to say it's not just murder." I tell him.

"It is true that they have paradoxical beliefs but is that any worse to mindlessly killing innocent people?" He counters.

"My victims are never innocent." I state.

"Same here. Kinda." Now he kinda looked like he was trying to remember the name of an old classmate that he already completely forgot. "Ah Hell most of those guys were assholes who were just better off dead." Hitoshiki sort of agreed with my comment.

"So you're saying that all your killings are justified?" Kirei asked.

"I hope that's not a question of our morality. I'm an Assassin, that should say plenty of what I justify."

"I wouldn't be a Zerozaki if I went with pissy excuses to kill. I promise I never have and never will bother regretting my kills."

"I understand. That will be good for you since indiscriminate killing may be necessary for you Assassin. After all how else do you intend to replenish you diminishing Prana reserves if not by taking the energy from live human souls. Their certainly are other options, but in this situation it may be more taboo then just consuming humans."

"No reason for you, the observer, to worry bout us. We do what we need to that's all."

Everyone seems to be bringing up that issue. I can understand other teams trying to learn another's secrets and using that against them in a fight, it an obvious trick. But coming from a supposed observer seem rather odd. About as weird as the other thing he said.

"Wait you're against mass murder but you will just let us taking human souls, Why?" Iori asks bringing up the other contradiction.

"Mutoh san, do not misunderstand. During the course of the Grail War contestants are allowed any and all freedom of action they deem fit for winning the War. Obviously there are certain guidelines that must be adhered to, such as keeping the secrecy of Magecraft and a commitment to complete the Holy Grail. Only by going against these or other extreme action would the Church interfere." It wasn't Kotomine who answered but Cera Koeller.

"So either fight discreetly or deal with you guys. Easy enough." Hitoshiki responded.

"Have there been others that don't fight?" Iori asks.

"Not often, but there was one Master in the previous War that did not engage in battle while others did. As a result of his abstinence from battle when he attempted to acquire the Grail at the end, there was a violent reaction." Kirei answered.

"Violently reaction?"

"Ten years ago during the conclusion of the Forth Grail War, only two masters and their Servants remained and fought for the Grail. During the battle when one Master manage to reach the Grail. The Grail did not acknowledge him and was destroyed. In the great fire that occurred because of the Grails destruction, five hundred people were killed and 134 buildings were destroyed." Kirei answered.

"Fire? Like it just exploded? Just because they didn't fight?" Iori kept asking.

"Correct."

"You were the finalists that got rejected, right Kotomine." Hitoshiki told us.

Well that would make sense. He knows too many details to not have been there or seen it himself.

"Yes, I was Zerozaki san." Kirei says.

"HA! What a masterpiece. Ya screw up so royally and you still get to keep your job. Must be a really laid back church you belong to." Hitoshiki loudly remarks.

"Not at all. I was reprimanded. But as the successor to the administration of the War after my father's death, I was pardoned after the cleanup was complete." Kotomine explained.

"And now here you are, kickin back and watchin the show."

"I do have obligations for the duration of the War such as cover-ups and protection for the Masters who lose their Servant. However the latter is rarely done."

"Yeah, we heard ya cover for anyone who surrenders. Gee, can't imagine why anyone would come to you for help."

"It is rarely done because most Masters are killed in the course of battle. It is found to be the preferred tactic by most Masters. Especially by Assassin teams, due to their lack of raw strength."

"Logical, but not your problem." I tell him while getting up from where I was sitting, the others following my lead.

"I take it that will be all then?" Kirei asks us.

"Yeah were done." I tell him.

"What about you? You seem to want to say something, so say it." Hitoshiki interrogates him. Well rather than say something it's more like theirs something Kotomine wants to do but is still debating over it.

"No. I simply would like to wish you luck. Make no mistake Zerozaki's, your participation here will yield you the greatest reward. You and Assassin must have great desires and need to be selected by the Grail." We listen to his final comment while heading to the door. Hitoshiki responds in kind.

"Fuck you. The only reason I haven't chopped you up and lined up the pieces for everyone to see is cause ya seem to have some kinda role in this shit. Once this is all over I'll come back and get to work on that. That's all I want. Got it."

"Then I look forward to your return then Master Zerozaki. As either the winner or the loser."

We left in a after that. Mostly because if we had stayed there any longer I think Hitoshiki would have stated killing Kotomine.

I won't say I hate Kotomine like Hitoshiki may, and I sure I'm not the only one that feels it, but there is something about that guy that really rub me the wrong way.

I've followed my instincts when it comes to guys that tried to screw me over and I'm usually right, and Kotomine just set off all my bells and whistles.

One thing that made his story kinda stand out was his role in the previous war. He said he studied to be a first rate killer but then he doesn't fight in the biggest kill fest of a lifetime with a magic wish for anything as the prize? It probably would have been a steal if he really is that great of a …what did he call himself again?

Executor. That was it. Well if he was a good killer and if he was a Master but didn't fight then that means that he either didn't care about the Grail, knew something everyone else didn't, or he was being controlled and told not to fight.

Whatever the answer to the contradiction that is Kotomine, we probably won't find out till we face him again. And that probably won't happen till the end Hitoshiki promised.

The following day we join back up with Soushiki who was apparently done with whatever he needed to do.

We asked what he was doing but all he told us was crap like 'Encountering Overkill Red. You're supposed to die when you're run over by an 18 wheeler, and you can't just kick a train off the rails like that.'

Hitoshiki seemed to know what he was talking about but they're not telling us.

The four of us spend the following week wondering around the City.

Eventually Iori got fed up with our lazy days saying we should do something productive to prepare for what's to come.

And so Hitoshiki recommended a ride.

It was then Soushiki found the Charger.

And now we have ourselves one badass car.

And now after a wild night of Hitoshiki's tactical driving in the stolen muscle car (150 miles per hour in a 15 MPH residential neighborhood without hitting anything let alone crashing can't be called anything else but impressive) we parked ourselves in the underground parking lot of some deserted building and are now inside sitting around doing what Hitoshiki refers to as 'priorities'; reading manga.

* * *

Hitoshiki Zerozaki, Human Failure.

Tattooed face, dyed hair, phone straps for earrings, military tactical vest, and loaded with a lot of knives, from small pen knives to really big combat knives.

I actually asked him what the point of carrying so many knives was since he only had the two hands. His response; "I like to keep my options open." Obviously.

Knife hording tendencies aside, Hitoshiki is seriously apathetic about everything else. My guess on why he is nicknamed Human Failure is cause of his problem relating to people. He's textbook psychopath from being antisocial to amoral with his actions. In fact he stands out in how perfect he fits the term.

Sou, Iori, Kirei, and I are all psychopathic in one way or another, but Hitoshiki personifies every human twisting condition that psycho's are. The one person that comes closest to relating him has to be Kirei. The only thing that makes him different is probably their approach to things.

If Kirei Kotomine who I believe to be a person with skewed beliefs who likes to send people in circles and keep them going. Then Hitoshiki is someone who's sits and watches people go in circles and kill them if they go by.

Overall I think he at least has an efficient method of dealing with assholes; stab them. With anyone else he probably couldn't care less what happens to them. Us included.

"Shouldn't we be doing something?!" Iori's complaint rings out distracting me from my analysis.

Soushiki and I stop what we're doing and turn to see what she wanted. We could already tell what it was going to be about since we have had the same conversation several times this past week.

"Guys we really should be doing _something._ I mean what would we do if we were attacked?"

"If what the Lancer team said was true then even if another team is aware of where we are, they would wait till nightfall." I tell her.

"Isn't that a good reason to like set plans and work out strategy while we can? And what if we_ are_ being watched? They could attack?!"

"Iori chan you don't have to worry. So long as Onii chan is here nothing will happen." I could practically feel the hearts mixed in Sou's words.

"There isn't anything we can do for the moment. Well that's not entirely true but at the moment the best thing we should do is save our strength till we really need it."

"Iori chan once something happens, that's when we can develop a more specific plan but for the moment we've taken every preventative measure we can take short of going out and looking for trouble."

"Like what?! Look at Zerozaki san! He's reading Umineko on top of a stolen car! How is that being prepared?"

I guess she wouldn't be able to tell how secure we really were here in this building. She may be a budding berserk psycho killer but right now all she is a teen girl with no experience at all with fighting. She's not really nervous but rather confused over what we were doing.

That confusion is dulling her sensitivity and understanding to abnormal things around her.

Sou and I stood up from where we were sitting and proceeded to show her our security. Sou began our explanation by pointing around us.

"Wide open field of view. No obstructions to block anyone incoming. Sneak attacks would either be long range fire or an invisible strike, right Assassin?"

"A long range attacks would be hard with the dim lighting. We would sense anyone with murderous intent and I'd see them coming too." I continue.

"What if they come in force? Like if they surround us." She asks.

"We do have escape routes prepared with or without the Charger. There are three main entrances that the Charger can get out thru plus multiple other ways that we can climb out if we need to from elevators to the stairs as well as some emergency ducts all of which lead to the building above us or to the surrounding buildings or streets." Sou replied.

"This building is pretty out of the way with practically no traffic so not only do people rarely pass but it also an ideal battleground should it start here." I tell her.

"What about weapons?" She gives another question to which I answer.

"What about weapons? We got our knife armory Hitoshiki Zerozaki. We're good."

"Does he really have that many?" Iori asked looking bewildered by my answer but still sneaks a peek at Hitoshiki.

"I not sure the exact number. I stopped counting at 30. Soushiki, do you know?"

"Hmm. He seems to have gotten more since we've been here. He's also gotten much better at concealing them too. I found about 70 but he may have more that we couldn't find."

I give a whistle before replying. "Not bad."

"Hey I can hear ya you know. Just so you know I don't intend to share." Hitoshiki told us while still reading his Umineko.

Me and Soushiki remain silent looking at each other.

"….. Yeah, little late for that buddy."

He finally breaks away from his read to look at us in confusion. Then as if he realized something he jumps down from his spot on top of the car and starts patting himself down. Once he stops he looks at us.

"Spear tip dagger?" He asks.

"Assassin." Soushiki quickly snitches on me. I pull out the straight knife from the leather coat I got to better blend in. After showing it to him I just put it back in its pocket.

"Ring guard knife?"

"Soushiki." I tell him while giving him a smug look. He pulls out a curved blade with one finger ring on the handle showing it to us, then just puts the knife back in his pocket like I did.

"Push dagger?"

"Assassin." Sou now shoots a smug look back at me. I don't bother taking the knife out. I just pat the pocket that I have the dagger in.

"Karambit?"

"Well." Soushiki says while staring at me with a smile giving Hitoshiki all the answer he needed.

"My favorite stiletto?!"

"Iori." The two of us exclaim.

The three of us look at said girl while she looks dumbfounded. "What?! I don't have a knife. Especially one of his."

"Check your pockets."

Pulling out the pockets of her uniform three switchblades fall out including said stiletto.

"Hey!" Iori and Hitoshiki cry out for different reasons.

"Just for the record you may want to check your hat, shoes, spats, and bra later." I advise her.

Taking off her hat and shoes three more small knives fall out.

"When?! Why?! HOW?!" She screeches.

Looking at her square in the eyes, Sou gives his practical reason. "Well there to make you feel safe Iori chan. Why else would you need them? As to how, weeell you should know that you make the cutest little chirp in your sleep."

After slapping Sou hard enough that he got some impressive hang time, Iori storms out the building.

I follow her staying behind her as she rants off complaint after complaint about Soushiki.

"That perverted, pickpocketing, wire, ghaaghaAAHAGGAHHHGA!"

"Sis con and killer." I finish off her list of Soushiki descriptors.

"EXACTLY!" She then directs her fury at me. "And YOU!"

I put my hands up defensively to calm her down. "Hey I was only joking about it with Sou the other night. He took it seriously and went overboard actually doing it."

The night that we started taking knives started with a conversation about the birth and growth of a Zerozaki. Cutting his 3 hour oration short, basically how it goes is whenever a person with unnaturally high killing impulses pops up and is found by another Zerozaki they're taken into the family and re-raised and trained with the new Zerozaki adopting a new name. Soushiki and Hitoshiki aren't their birth names, but rather their Zerozaki names.

Personally I hate getting children like Iori involved in anything violent. That's why I didn't like Koeller working with Kotomine, or join Sou in giving Iori any knives. I just kept them for myself.

But here I'm gonna need to make another exception. First is because it was their choice and I really don't have any right to force them to do or not do anything.

Not after last time, with her.

Secondly we're in the middle of supernatural war; violence tends to go hand in hand with that kinda thing. So I guess whatever can help her.

Anyways I was joking about giving her something to defend herself so I figured maybe one of Hitoshiki's knives, but again Sou took me seriously and started loading her up with knives. While I know I should have stopped him, Sou was too determined with his "brotherly love" to do so.

Though I have to admit the obvious outcome was fun to watch.

"So, where to?"

"I'm going to check out more of the city. Since those guys aren't doing much I figure I could do something productive myself."

It not that they're not doing anything, just their not really explaining anything they're doing to her.

Before we got the Charger, Sou had already cased out four other hideouts that we can use, learned the geography and history of the area, and kept track of rumors and news of the city for anything that may be related to what we're doing.

Hitoshiki on the other hand has been getting funds and equipment that we may need. He's been going out at night to kill n steal for cash, so we've got some war funds that we can use. Other stuff he got is more knives, food, med stuff, and other miscellaneous items like our manga. We got it all stashed here and there.

Along with the money he takes, I also take the dead guys soul to keep my Prana up.

"Well Master, if you're taking suggestions then I have one."

"What?"

The loud sound of her stomach growling gave her my answer.

"Breakfast."

* * *

Iori Mutoh. 17 year old self-proclaimed cute high school girl with a hat (Assassin says it a chullo, whatever that is).

Also, new born Zerozaki.

She's been raised as an ordinary girl so for now her view on things is as one would expect form any ordinary girl her age. But that was then. Now that view is beginning to change.

Iori chan before was reluctant to commit to anything and so in life she has often fought, no that's not right. She never fought, what she has done is simply kept ignoring and tried to distance herself from the oddity that she always felt herself to be.

Avoiding ones nature and replacing it entirely with the  
common nurture she has been raised with despite the mismatch with one's self. That has been her life till now. Even now she can't come face to face with her inner Zerozaki (Nature) and struggles to stays as the teenage girl (Nurture).

But in meeting and experiencing vast things like this War and the people in it like Kotomine san and other Masters, she can form a self that is one she can face. One that she can overcome. One that she can truly be.

One that will bear the Zerozaki name as it should be with pride, conviction, and resolve.

It is not a coincidence that all this is happening. It is inevitable, it is fate.

"Hey General you could at least get off the ground before you start monologuing. Seriously in that position it looks like you're masturbatin or somethin."

Hitoshiki picks up his stolen knives while talking to the downed Soushiki.

"Oh little brother. Couldn't you at least come to check that I wasn't killed or anything. Your new little sister was very rough on your big bro. What would you do if I was killed?" Soushiki replied while energetically jumping up.

"What do you mean 'what would I do' If you get killed by that then you deserve it especially after stealing my stuff."

"Ahh! That too cold little bro! Come on show some family spirit!"

"Family spirit nothing! Just get her her own stuff! DON"T TAKE MINE!"

Soushiki gives an exasperated sigh towards his brothers attitude. "Little brother you really need to more considerate. You're a big brother now so you need to watch over Iori chan. Remember that the older Zerozaki's teach the younger ones. That is the way of our family."

"Don't change the subject! I know my responsibilities. But you're the one that's expressing your creepy affection all over her."

"Creepy!? I resent that. My love for Iori chan is the same as I would for any of the others. Ohhh, I see. You're jealous. You think that your baby sister will take all the family affection away from you. Don't worry I, Eldest brother of the Zerozaki family will always show you the same affection I show her."

"…. That's a really disturbing thought. Please don't."

Soushiki lightly dances around the car and with another sigh continues. "You may have said please but your still that same antisocial little brother. You don't have to be so tsun tsun you know. You can show some dere every now and then."

….

"General. If you're gonna keep talking like that then I'll just kill you."

"….Ok. If you're gonna be like that, we can pick this up when Iori chan returns." Soushiki accepts as he sits on the hood of the car. Hitoshiki takes a seat next to his big brother

After a while on top of the car the pair let out a loud annoyed sigh.

"General."

"I know Hitoshiki. We are being stupid. The fact that we skipped over such an important ritual shows how distracted we are."

"You're distracted. I was just having too much fun with it. Either way if we still hope to call ourselves men we should do it now."

"Indeed. It would be an insult to such a beauty after all. " Looking at each other in and with a nod they both agree in a plan of action.

"Pop the hood."

"Whether you like cars or not, muscle cars new and old always catches your eye. Even if you don't know anything about cars and only use them for what they are, cool cars with major horsepower will, even if just a very little, make you curious. So it's only"

"Sou nii, shut the hell up and just open the damn hood. No one's listening to your pointless lecture. I sure as hell ain't."

"Hump. Fine."

Moving over to the driver seat Soushiki begins poking around under the steering wheel until he pulls a lever followed by the popping sound of the hood opening.

"That's not the hood, that's for the fricking trunk!" Hitoshiki complains to his big brother.

"Sorry. Ah, here it is." Now the hood opens. Meanwhile Hitoshiki move to the back of the Charger.

"You know little brother, I should ask but chances are I already know the answer."

"So why the question at all?"

"Because as your big brother I'd like to know if you've changed any from your old indifferent self. An experience like this can be very life changing after all."

"What, war? Supernatural crap? How is any of this different from what we usually deal with. I mean we've faced the female equivalent to Hiko Seijūrō and came out alive somehow, can't imagine worse."

"Ok, over the top encounters aside I'm more interested in your more resent encounters. Usually you don't interact with people very well. You usually either kill or ignore most people you meet while doing you own thing. But recently you've met some characters which you can't do either."

"Like who?" Hitoshiki asks his brother.

"And that brings me to my question. What do you think of them? All the people you've met these past three weeks. Like Iori chan, Assassin, Lancer and his Master, and of course Kirei Kotomine. The former four aside, I hear that there was _something_ between you two. Hmm?" Soushiki asks getting to the heart of his concerns.

"That weird priest? Ok so I admit that I did feel something similar. It was like looking at myself in a different colored mirror kinda feelin. An incomplete human from birth."

"What do you think you will do next time? Do you think you could actually connect with this similar man?"

"No. I sure I'll just kill him. When I said a mirror it more like I was looking at everything that I could possibly hate about myself, and I really can't stand it so I'll do him next time."

"I'm surprised that you didn't when you first met him. Why is that?"

"That's simple. I didn't feel like it at the time. Ya know inside a church and all, but now I do. Anyways General could you come here."

With a curious expression Soushiki goes over to where Hitoshiki was near the trunk of the Charger "Huh, what is it?"

"Check it." Hitoshiki says holding up a water gallon filled with red liquid. "What is it?" Soushiki asks again. Taking the gallon he removes the cap as smells the content. "Is this"

"Yep. It's blood." Hitoshiki interrupts.

"Was this in the trunk?"

"Yeah" Hitoshiki pulls out two more gallons. "I found three of them all filled with blood. But that's not the best part, Check this."

With a gleeful smile that distorted the tattoo on his face, Hitoshiki pulling up the flooring of the trunk revealing a hidden compartment.

"Nice knife."

* * *

Me and Assassin eventually found a café and after eating we're now just sitting in our booth trying to focus on our own issues over the various noisy gossiping happening around us.

_'You really shouldn't be going out at night senpai. It getting dangerous these days.' 'I heard that nearly all the victims are teenagers.' It's a haunting I tell you! They were all cursed by the Girls of Homurahara Academy!'_

"Hope you calmed down some Iori." Assassin addresses me.

"How could I? I just found out that so called big brother has been touching me in my sleep." I answer my so called Servant who just let him do it.

"Actually you should know that when he did slip them, he managed to do it without directly touching you. At most he may have ogled, but he was cautious not to cross certain lines. But seriously that guy is good with those scissors." Assassin details Iori on Soushiki's exploits.

I don't care how careful or good he was. I wonder how you would like it if someone stared messing with you in your sleep? I guess it's nice that he at least was thinking about my safety, but still, there are better ways. Like actually asking me!

I'm starting to worried about what those guys do when I'm not looking. I know what that perverted Soushiki and Hitoshiki do but what about Assassin? All I've seen him do so far is follow our lead. I really don't know much about him or what he wants in all this. Does he even have a wish?

"Still worried?" Assassin asks.

"Oh, uh yeah."

"He means well. Just that"

"That he's being a freak about it."

"Well there is that."

_'Did you hear several students have gone missing like overnight.' 'Shit! We gotta hurry. The Boss is waiting for us to bring him that old stuff from storage. If we're late he'll have our heads!' 'It was the curse I tell you! I know it, I felt it I smelled it, I TASTED IT!' _

While I could keep complaining about Soushiki san, I'm more curious about Assassin. I really don't know much about him. I know he was a hero since that's who the Holy Grail is supposed summon but who was he? I've only seen him fight once and that was with a trash can. Doesn't really say much.

In the two weeks he's been with us he's became good friends with the guys, especially Soushiki. All three of them hang out constantly just talking about nothing important like the people they saw on the street, what girl they think are hot, what manga they preferred, games they should play later, and what they preferred to eat.

It's kinda weird. Is that how all guys normally are?

"Hey Assassin, could you tell me if you've done things like this before if your life?" I ask him. I wonder if he'll tell me anything about himself. He's my Servant so why not.

"Fighting? Yeah." His short answer makes me think he won't.

"Even against magic things?" I keep asking.

"Once or twice. If you're wondering if there is some kind of trick to how to do it, then all I can tell you is use you head, stay calm, and stay on your feet. It's basically the same in any kind of fight, supernatural or not."

I think over his advice. Use my head, stay calm, and stay on my feet.

He's right, that's good advice for almost anything. I'd still prefer some more specific advice but at least he has some experience on this. It does make me feel better about fighting. Not to mention were having this bonding time an all.

_'It's been three weeks since people have been disappearing without a trace. None of the bodies have been found yet.' 'Yeah and it's also been two weeks since the killings started. Mutilated corpses and none of them are any of the missing people.' 'It kinda feels like there may be more than one psycho out there.'' OKUMAAAA!' 'Ok, quick someone tranquilize him or something before everyone knows.' _

"Someone's way too active in the morning. Anyways still having second thoughts about this Iori?"

Yeah of course I'm having second thoughts. Not long ago if this had happened to me I probably would have worn down my shoes to nothing trying to run away from it all. That I'm still here is a huge improvement.

"Considering what could happen I am a bit nervous. Aren't you guys worried about what could happen? Like what happened ten years ago?"

"If that happens then it happens. It's already happened once, who's to say someone else like Kotomine does the same thing and repeats history." Assassin's right.

In truth I'm not really concerned about the end where we get the grail and may explode. What I'm really worried about is everything from now to the end. The fighting and the danger is supposed to be something that even professional magic people couldn't imagine.

Our teams fighting strength are a giant pair of scissors, an arsenal of knives, and Assassin. I've seen them in action so I know the others can at least defend themselves.

But me? Compared to them I really feel like I'm just in the way. Seriously I don't even count since I've never really fought let alone killed anyone.

I was about to ask more when Assassin suddenly reacts to something.

Even with his goggled eyes I could tell something serious got his attention.

"What is it?" I ask a bit distressed.

Assassin just sits their silent and focused at the crowd passing by the window. He seemed to be thinking about something.

Was their another team here? An enemy? Is someone about to attack? All these thoughts put me on edge. Not sure if it means anything but I try to ready myself to be attacked while addressing my partner.

"Where?"

He remains still as if wondering what to do.

This anxiety in my chest is unbearable. What's happening? It's like being in the middle of the ocean with something in the water but you can't see it, you just see big splashes on the surface. Is it a shark, dolphin, whale? What is it? I ask him again what was going on.

We remain seated there while I wait for whatever Assassin sensed to come.

Finally Assassin answers. "Tank."

"Were being attacked by a tank?!" Where? I don't see it. Is it invisible? Flying? What's happening!

"The other seems to be….HmmHmmHmmHmmmmm….I think it's Strength, but it could just be some kinda murderfied techno disco."

"…What?" Are we being attacked by tanks, a small girl with giant metal fists, or a homicidal dance party?!

"Com'on lets go Iori. Seems were having a family get-together." Assassin keeps talking getting up from where he was sitting.

"You could at least tell me what's going on!" I get up to follow him.

"It's nothin. Just Sou and Hitoshiki calling us back." Assassin casually replies.

"How!? You don't have a phone or radio! Are you guys psychic!?"

"Nah. Nothing like that. Their just calling us over with their murderous intent."

His answer just leaves me as confused as when I thought we were being attacked by tanks. Either way after leaving the café we starts walking in the direction we came from.

I follow him still confused. "Hey could you at least explain whatever it is you saw or heard or whatever!"

"The guys are just calling us back." He gives me the same answer.

"How?"

"Sou and Hitoshiki are flickering intense killing intent like their flipping a lightswich on and off in the tune of a song. Sou is doing Tank from Cowboy bebop and Hitoshiki, who seems to be tone deaf, is playing either Soul Eaters 4th ending Strength or his own thing. Can't tell, the guy seriously got no rhythm. Remember that karaoke thing we did the other night. His singing was worse than the Charger without a muffler."

I can't tell what weirder; their singing with their killing intent or that were using that as a batsignal from across the city.

"You can't feel that?" Assassins question just makes me more confused and worried. "No!"

"Hmm, guess you don't know how to detect murderous intent and evil presences yet."

"And you can!?" I yell at him. Yeah like I ever thought I would have to feel out someone beeping their emotions to send a message, OF COURSE NOT! I could understand it if it was something like Morse code but anime opening and ending songs?!

"Wait when did you listen to those?"

Assassin just shrugs as he keeps walking.

Great he's done answering me. Maybe I'll learn something when we get back. Or not. I suddenly got the feeling that this is gonna get really weird.

With a defeated sigh resigning myself to whatever was going to happen while following Assassin as we head back to the others.

* * *

Authors notes: No Servant stats for this Chapter. Why? I only put them in for characters that have fought and that are in the chapter. Assassin's hasn't really fought yet so no stats on him just yet.

Note on Lancers NP, the Style change, is demonstrated here. He was in Tauri style in this chapter so he engaged and acted logically and individually. If he had been in Jaffa Style he would have fought head on and followed Luvia's order to fight. Both Styles reflect how he acts and believes based on who he served in his life and both mindsets will be shown in his actions in my story.

If these guys or any of others seem a little out of character then my bad and I hope someone corrects me before I screw up really badly.

There was a lot of stuff here that may not make sense surrounding the mysterious Zerozaki family. So here's a quick cheatsheet. First Ichizoku is just Japanese for family (I think). Their also known as bandits.

In their original verse, Zaregoto, they have a term known as the violence world. They are groups that are just unbelievably good at killing.

There are 13 Violence family's separated into two groups; the 7 Killing Names Families who kill directly with their own hands or whatever weapon they use like the Zerozaki's, and the 6 Cursing Names Families that kill indirectly like with poison and other sneaky manipulation they have like the guy in Chapter 2 that Assassin dismembered with the trashcan. He was from one of the Cursing names families; he killed indirectly with hypnotism and mindcontrol forcing others to do the work for him.

I have two OC's in this chapter from my other story, FBI (Fate's Band of Investigators). Again not necessary to read it since I will detail the important stuff here but you know if you want the full story of boy meets girl mage and a bunch of others people, then read FBI (Fate's Band of Investigators).


	7. Chapter 7

CH7: Stranger Things Have Happened

* * *

"Dean! Jump on!" Sam(pala)'s shout rings out throughout the small shed.

Saber does what his mechanized brother's said and jumps onto the hood of his car/brother hybrid avoiding Breakfast's surprise attack. Once on, Sam(pala) hits his gas at full speed crashing out of the shed wall.

"Hey Sam your scratching the paint!" Saber yells getting off while getting off.

"Would you rather have been cornered in that little cramped shed?"

Realizing Sam was right he didn't say anything else about it. "Still doesn't it make it any better."

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!

The two brothers turn to see what it was that was attacking them this time.

What they saw had no shape, just a pale white surface with small clumps moving across its skin which laid splat on the ground after it flung itself and missed. While on the ground it kept trying to get up and regain some form, cackling loudly every time it moved.

"Seriously what is that Dean?"

Watching Breakfast writhe and wiggle out of the shed Saber thought back to what the girls did and said earlier. "Supposedly it breakfast."

"What the hell were you guys eating? Demonified Flubber!"

"Don't ask me. I'm only, Whoa!" Ducking, Saber avoids another charging attack from Breakfast. However as it passes over his head the long tail like appendage that followed behind it's charging front body curved to catch Sabers head like a noose. With its tail wrapped around Sabers neck Breakfast pulls him onto the ground and drag Saber with it. However before it could move forward, the tail falls apart in a sticky mess leaving Saber behind as Breakfast runs away.

Holding his neck and coughing from being chocked, Saber stands up to face the slime. "Aaah crap, not again."

"Is this why Archer and you were"

"Sam, I don't want to talk about it." Saber cuts of Sam(pala)'s observation as he tries to wipe the goo that was dripping from his neck.

"Dean where did it go?" Sams question prompts Saber to look around but he finds Breakfast just as it slipped into the brushes.

"Damn it!" Sam(pala) and Dean swear out loud as they chase after it.

They couldn't let it get away, there really was no telling what it would do if it got out into the city. Best case scenario it got crushed by a semi as soon as it gets away and dies. Cause that kind of convenient end always happens for us. Or worst (and most likely) case we end up with some kind of maneating Godzilla sized whatever rampaging in the city.

As soon as they drove and ran close to the brushes where they last saw it they heard the rustling in the vegetation moving away from them. They followed the noise and soon it jumped out in the open.

Sam(pala) circled round behind it and surrounded and closed in the blob creature. It must have become desperate because it lunged at Sam(pala) the closer we got.

Sam(pala) threw himself in reverse to get away. But Breakfast stayed on path and charged forward slamming onto Sam(pala)'s windshield. "Ghaw! What the hell!" Sam(pala) blared out but Breakfast then tried to enter him through whatever crack it could find.

"Dahhhh?! Dean do something!"

Saber aims his Zat "Off my car -brother!"

The electric shots hit Breakfast causing it to stop and fall off Sam(pala) who startes sputtering like a old jalopy.

"DeEEeaAn? ZZAHZThttHAzzza HEHELeLEhhELEhELlll?!"

"Crap. Sorry Sammy, you ok?"

"NnOooOh!"

While Sam(pala) keeps sputtering, Breakfast starts to slide away. Seeing the retreat Saber fires several more Zat shots to try and stop it but every time it gets hit it convulses but keeps trying to move away.

"So the Zat hurts it, but it won't kill it. What do I do with it then?"

Saber dashes to Breakfast, pulls out a pack, and stuff the blob in.

"Ok, obviously not my best idea but at least it gives me some time to figure out what to do next. Hey Sammy you still seizing over their?"

"God what the hell was that Dean? Feels like I got tazed by a supped up stun gun."

"I'm surprised that you can _feel _like that."

"Huh, your right. Anyways, you got that thing trapped?"

Tossing the slime filled bag aside Saber answers his brother. "Ya. I got it. Thanks for the hand."

"Dean I can run you over so don't tempt me."

"Sorry. I keep forgetting." He answers with a small laugh.

Turning himself around so his headlights face Saber, Sam(pala) starts aggressively roaring his engine. "What do you mean you forgot?! Look at me! How can you forget this!?"

"Hey! Let's focus on the thing in the bag. So can you cool your engine for now."

"Dean!"

"Sorry, sorry. But you got to admit this is pretty funny the second time around." Saber says walking over to his brother.

"Why don't you say that when you wake up and find tires instead of feet." Sam(pala) was getting upset. First with Archer and his coming up with what he called "code names" for him, then his brother ragging on him with all his puns, it's starting to get tempting to run someone over.

"Ok, seriously Sam what are we going to do about that thing?"

"Sorry Dean, but this is my first shapeless, meal monster."

…..

"Not sure where to begin on this but if your researching, you're on your own. No hands." Sam(pala) reeves his engine to prove his point.

"Yeah, that would be kinda tough. Oh well, it's caught for now. Gives me time to use our good friend; the internet." Saber lets out an exasperated sigh as he moves to Sam(pala)'s trunk where he pulls out a labtop.

"Gotta admit this Servant thing really useful. Kinda wish we could do this when we were Hunting. Seriously check this out." Putting the labtop to the side, Saber starts pulling out a number of random items from the trunk several items from the trunk.

"Uh, Dean is this really the time to be playing around like this. We still have something in a bag to take care of. Remember? I bet this Servant thing is cool for you but…. Wait is that?"

Sam(pala) trails off as Saber pulls out a guitar. "I know right! I mean I don't even think I ever used this thing since high school and now I can just pull it out like that. I got everything I ever had in here. And some stuff Dad had too."

If Sam(pala) had eye he probably would have rolled them, but at the moment all he has are windshield wipers. Yelling will have to do for now. 'Ah crap, now I'm punning myself too.'

"Dean that's not what I'm talking about! Over here next to my left….." Sam(pala) lets out a sigh before finishing his sentence. "Front tire." Hesitating to say that last part Sam(pala) rotates his front wheels to get Sabers attention.

"What is it?" Walking over to where Sam(pala) was spinning his wheels, Saber looks down to see what his brother was talking about. "Don't tell me that's"

"Yeah I think it is."

"Well at least we have a next step. I'll get started."

Before Saber could head over to the where he tossed Breakfast to, something blows out from the ground slashing at Sabers leg and arm.

"Dean!"

Jumping back to get some distance from his attacker Saber sees that Breakfast tore thru the bag and dug itself in the ground with its new claws.

* * *

At school Shirou was walking unnaturally stiff. The other students could tell something was wrong and were asking if I was alright.

What can I do? It not like I made it a habit of walking around with weapons glued to my body. Not to mention that knife on my side is really starting to itch.

Convincing his classmates he was fine and that it was just that he didn't get enough sleep last night wasn't too hard.

Fujinee still wasn't convinced even with everything we all told her during breakfast, but overall there's no way she'll learn the truth short of me telling her and I definitely won't.

Regardless, other than being chilly inside the school, my day went by like any other right up until just before lunch when Rin and Luvia secretly told me to meet them on the roof.

Which brings me to my current situation. Rin and Luvia glaring each other while Lance and Archer try to calm them down.

"Tohsaka san, I invited Emiya kun here for a private meeting. We can give you a summary later so you don't have to be here. After all, I'm sure you have other things to handle isn't that right _Miss Honor Student_." Luvia words didn't sound very sincere.

"Edelfelt san, I am only hoping to instruct Emiya san on the rules of the Holy Grail War. I'm sure you have your own work to see to, so I will assist Emiya san so you certainly do not have to bother being here, _Miss Homurahara Queen_." They might as well be saying the same thing. And what's with this war like tension between them.

Archer interrupted to cut the tension. "Okay I'm sure we all have something to say to Shirou. But I can't see why we can't just share him in this uhhh, war meeting."

"No."

"Why is it _that_ is what you guys simultaneously agree on." Archer comments.

"We're not agreeing on anything." Another simultaneous answer.

"Sorry, I really want to know what's up with you two but I also have some questions that I want to figure out while we're all together." I tell them hoping it breaks their tension.

The two girls look at each other and with a defeated sigh agree to stop for now. "Alright Emiya kun, what do you want to know?"

I want to know why they seem so hostile towards each other, but do I really have the time to handle them? Should I focus on the Grail War that seems to be the bigger problem?

Or should I worry about their issues? As a hero I can't just let them continue fighting each other like this.

Like last night, they near started blasting the hell out of each other. If Berserker hadn't arrived we would have ended up fighting each other.

What do I as a hero do?

* * *

Breakfast was evolving.

Or at least that's what it seemed like. Before it was just a blob that kept popping out around it edges. But now it was gaining shape, its form is now elongated. It resembled a two tailed snake with two praying mantis like sickles and a small orb where a head should be.

"The hell?"

"It's like it got some kinda imprint to your physiology when it grabbed your neck Dean and is trying to transform to look more like you."

"I look nothing like that!"

"I mean your human anatomy. I mean look at it, four limbs, center body, and a head."

Ok Sam may have a point (ironic since he doesn't have one at the moment). But it's more accurate to say it's a jello made, noodle limbed human.

I guess shape wise it kinda the same. I bet if it had a more ridged skeleton it wouldn't be so floppy.

"Dean, you got a plan now that we know what it probably is?" Sam asked confirming what we found.

Next to Sam was sulfur, a good sign that Breakfast is a demon.

So it may look weird and we've definitely never hunted one like it but it would make some seams. Magic and demons tend to go together after all. Either way, doesn't change what it is.

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to Sam. It's just another weak ass demon."

"I doubt you're gonna be able to stuff it in another bag."

"Hey that was a tentative plan. But now that I know what it is it'll be easy."

KEKE

After that calm laugh, breakfast began its attack again. And fast. Before it moved by bouncing like a basketball, now it jumps using it tail like a spring.

I barely avoid it slashing at my head with its sickle like arm. I try to turn around to face it but before I can fully turn it makes another missed strike at my head.

It kept lunging at me too fast to fully dodge, getting scratched up all over.

"Crap." It got faster, too fast.

I could feel blood trickle from my forehead to my eyes. I blink to keep the red liquid out but in the less then second it took to blink Breakfast was gone from my line of sight. I then hear Sam warning me. "Dean, above you!"

I jump out of the way before even looking. I see something white flash in front of me and crash where I was. I look at where I stood but there's nothing but a hole in the ground.

"It's underground again."

I look across the ground but I couldn't see it. Where's it going to pop up from?

Think. It's a demon. Doesn't matter what it looks like when it comes down to it it'll act just like all the others; manipulative, lying, and backstabbing.

"Shit!" Twisting my body I feel the blades graze my back. I manage a glance of Breakfast but that enough. I immediately draw a rocksalt loaded double-barrel shotgun. I lift the gun where I last saw it and squeeze the trigger.

The loud crack from my weapon is the accompanied by the pained screech of Breakfast.

Gotcha

I don't let up my attack. Dropping the shotgun I pull out my Zat and keep shooting watching it squirm in pain after every shot.

It doesn't kill it but I can at least hold it in place like this.

And while I could do this for a while eventually I'm actually gonna need to kill it.

"KEEEEEE!" But it's screaming does puts me at ease somewhat.

"Dean this may be a stupid question but how many shots does that thing have? For that matter where'd you get it?" Sam(pala) asked slowly driving behind me as I keep shooting.

I really should have asked Lancer about that first question. I have no idea how long I can do this.

"Sammy I kinda wanna kill this thing first. Any ideas?"

"Dude don't you have The Colt, just shoot it with that."

"I don't want to waste the Prana to summon it for something like this. I got a lot when I was summoned but since I'm not getting much Shirou I need to be careful what I use the juice on. I'm taxed as it is between the two of us. So for now I'm savin it for bigger game." I explain to Sam(pala).

Hell, I still am a bit busted up from last night and now being cut up here. If I try to heal myself all in one go or use too much Prana for anything else than I may lose The Impala and Sam with it.

I also get the feeling I'm really gonna need all 13 bullets later on. I may have more then I need for less than 6 Servants but I'm not being paranoid, its caution based on my gut.

So about Breakfast. ….. I'm getting a cramp in my hand. I like this thing but I'm really not used to the trigger.

"Excuse me." A new voice behind me startles me. I stop shooting and quickly turn around to see who it was.

I see a small elderly man in a yellow tiger strip hakama supporting himself with a bamboo cane. He had a sharp stare that was carefully dissecting the situation before him with professional precision. He stood there like he owned the place with the kind of confidence that is built from experience.

Kinda reminds me of Bobby; old guy with a lot of history.

"Dean!" Crap I forgot about Breakfast. I turn to where I was shooting but it was too late. Breakfast was already gone. "The wall!"

I look to the wall Sam(pala) was driving to just in time to see Breakfast jump the wall and escape.

"Son of a bitch, it got away." I look back to the old man and realizing something else. "You didn't see any of that did you?"

* * *

"Is there something wrong?" Shirou asks Rin and Luvia.

"No" They answered at the same time. Their voices sounded like a well-practiced duet.

"You sure? I feel like theirs some tension between you two."

"Yes" another perfectly timed answer. They seem to be getting in a worse mood every time they answer.

"Come on were a team so we shouldn't fight." I tell them.

The girls put on a sour face like they just heard something unpleasant. What I say?

I look over to Lancer and Archer. I can't tell what Lancers thinking with his stony expression, but based on Archers expression and him shaking his head I must be poking at a bad topic.

Luvia answers me. "Emiya kun, you were resting when we were discussing our future plans. Didn't Saber elaborated to you on what our strategy, our plan, was?"

Elaborate? All I've gotten out of him are dodged questions and a knife glued on my body. "No, he hasn't. What you guys come up with?"

The girls look at each other and after thinking for a second began discussing our position with Rin picking up the explanation.

"Last night here at school, Edelfelt and I were having our first battle in the Holy Grail War with each other. That is until we were interrupted."

Last night? "Wait don't tell me that that flashy display here in the sports field was"

"Yes Emiya, that was us."

"Why! Shouldn't you two be working together to "

…

Right now it's the middle of fall so it naturally a bit chilly, but the roof now feels frozen and eerie. Iced like the inside of a freezer with something inside crawling over you. The first thing that comes to mind is the Breakfast these two made. In fact it almost exactly like that thing.

"Uh, Masters? Continue?" Archer stepped up to keep them talking.

"Emiya kun. That is incorrect. Tohsaka and I never had any intention of fighting together before last night. In fact we intended to finish each other last night before you interrupted. But now after everything about Berserker and her Master we've decided it would be best to form a temporary alliance between the 3 of us until the largest threat has been neutralized."

"And after Berserkers out?" I ask them.

"We finish what we started."

I can't believe this. It's like they want to fight each other. I can't let them do that, I (I'm on the high way to hell) have to (high way to hell) think of (high way to hell) some (I'm on the highway to hell) thing?

"What's that?" I hear music coming from somewhere. I look at the others but they all give me a confused shrug.

"I believe that is you Shero Emiya san." Lancer answered.

"Me?"

"I think your pants are singing Shirou." Archer clarified. He must have been joking. Actually I hope he was.

My pants? "Oh." Realization dawned on me when I remember that I have the cell phone Saber gave me.

I pull out the phone from my pocket and see that it was flashing an incoming call. There was a number on the screen.

That's my house number. I should already know who it is but if so why is he calling me from my home phone?

I press the accept button and put it to my ear. "Hello, uh Saber is that you?"

"Yeah. Shirou where do you keep your coffee or tea or whatever." He sounded rushed. I look over to the others who look curious as to what was happening.

"Uh, I have a new bag of coffee in the cupboards above the refrigerator. Why do you need to know?"

I could hear some rummaging in the background then I hear him again "Ah, here it is. Ok where's your coffee maker?"

"Saber what's going on over there? Oh and the coffee makers next to the sink. What are you doing?"

"Making coffee." I guess that should have been obvious but I still had to ask.

I don't hear anything for a while so I assume that he is looking for my coffee maker. Then I hear him again. "Damn it Shirou where? I just found the pot. Where's the rest of it?"

"What do you mean 'where the rest of it is'. That's it." I tell him. My coffee makers a manual drip. It's just a filter and the pot.

"This? What do you mean? How do you heat it? Is it made of some kinda Japan made, space age, self-heating glass or something?"

"No! Just boil some water in the tea pot on the stove, fill the filter on top with the coffee grinds, and pour the hot water into the pot."

"Oh. And there's the tea pot. Ok thanks I got it. Listen I got to go. Oh yeah listen, I'm gonna pick you up after school. What time do you get out?" Saber asked.

"I get out at fou….No Don't you"

"Got it. See you then." Saber hung up before I could finish my protest.

What the hell was that?

"What did Saber want"? Luvia asked.

"Coffee." I tell them while I was still confused about it myself.

"Sounds like he's going to come to get you. I wonder if he's gonna bring his car?" Archer commented sounding excited.

Aw, man that's going to cause a scene here isn't it. There aren't many students who come here by car after all. Probably aren't more than 4 who do. One being Luvia.

And my kitchen! AHHH people keep using it without my permission! I'm gonna be lucky if it still in one piece by the end of all this Grail War stuff. OHH Kitchen, please don't blow up. Please don't blow up. Please don't blow up. Please don't blow up. Pleeeeaaase don't blow up!

I don't know why but I start involuntarily scratching my side with the knife on it.

"What is the matter Shero Emiya san?" Lancer asks.

"Huh? Nothing just my knife bothering me." I reply.

"Your knife?" Luvia asks. Why am I calling it mine, it's really Saber's.

"Yeah. Saber shoved some stuff on me before I came to School, like that phone."

"Just take it off if it's bothering you." Archer told me.

"I'd love to, but Saber made sure I wouldn't by super-gluing it on me."

"If that's the case then why didn't you tell us earlier? Just have the girls here do their hocus pocus thing and poof! Glued knife free."

"Hey that's a great idea. What do you say?" I ask them.

Rin and Luvia look at each other, then agree.

"Show us." They were enthusiastic to help. At least they seem to be able to work together. I may be able to stop them from fighting each other by using that attitude to keep them together.

I stand up and lift my shirt. But I forgot about the other things Saber gave me like the gun tucked at the back of my pants so when I stand and lift up my shirt it falls on the ground with a clatter.

Everyone just stares at the weapon. "Uhh, Ok I can explain."

"Wow, I wouldn't have pegged you as the type to carry something so violent Emiya." Rin exclaimed.

"It's not mine. Just another thing Saber gave me before I came here. I really didn't want to but he was stubborn about it."

"Couldn't you just tell him you could just use your Magecraft? At least then you wouldn't be walking around like…" Luvia spoke before trailing off.

"Like what? Wait, Emiya knows Magecraft?!" Rin exclaimed very shocked.

That's right, I only told Luvia and our Servants so Rin still didn't know about that.

Luvia snapped out of her thinking and responded "Oh my, you didn't know Tohsaka _san. _It's just a little secret between just the two of us, but I suppose _WE_ _Should _tell you." Luvia explained with a very arrogant tone.

"Tch, It's not like it's that important. Anyways about the knife I think it's a better idea to leave it for now. Saber had a good idea considering last night." Rin told me.

Luvia kept looking at me with my shirt lifted for a bit then responded. "I suppose that's a good idea for now. If nothing else you can scrub it off with nail polish remover."

"Nail polish remover." Archer asked confused which Rin answered.

"Yes, Nail polish remover usually works to dissolving glue off of skin."

"Wonder if it be enough against glue-bending?" Archer muttered under his breathe.

"Anyways we could help you scrub it off later tonight when we come over."

"Sure thank, what?"

"We are coming over tonight. It'll be better for us to stay together until Berserker has been dealt with." Luvia responded.

"It probably helps that your mansion was destroyed." Archer added.

"Indeed." Lancer added.

"In any case, tonight will be a good night to prepare for our next bout with Berserker." Rin continued.

Well if their coming over I can save the rest of my questions for tonight. Besides lunch is almost over and its getting colder so I guess it'll be alright to leave it at that.

Besides Sabers weird call made me lose my momentum.

Well there is one thing I can ask. I'll need to go shopping for food tonight since the girls wasted most of what was in my fridge and the rest was used by Sakura to make breakfast (the nonmoving one).

"If you guys are coming over tonight do you mind if I ask what you would like for dinner tonight. It'll be good to know so that I get the ingredients after school." I ask them.

"Are you sure you're strong enough to cook tonight. You did just lose your arm last night. Maybe one of us should make dinner."

I'm not even going to imagine that scenario.

"No. In fact, new house rule unless your name is Shirou Emiya or Sakura Matou you're not allowed into the kitchen. If I can't cook then Sakura can do it. Understood." I ordered with an strangely authoritic tone I'm not used to using.

Normally I wouldn't be so forceful to deny someone anything, but I, Shirou Emiya, want my holy ground in one piece. I don't care if the rest of my house is destroyed, I can just rebuild that but my kitchen; I have it just the way I want it, right now it just disordered but if it's destroyed that's that, there's no 'back to normal' or 'fixing it'. It'll be gone for good.

If I'm not careful it may be the death of my personal culinary territory.

"So do you have any requests?" I ask them.

What's Lancer looking at?

Rin, Luvia, and Archer are looking at me like I'm some kind of nut but Lancers was looking away at something else.

"Hey. Lancer what are you looking at?" I ask. Everyone turns to looks at the distracted Lancer.

He just kept looking away.

What's he looking at?

Since we didn't get an answer we just look towards where Lancer was looking at.

You gotta be kidding me. There was a girl looking our way. Did we seriously just get busted.

But there's something off about her. She wasn't wearing our school uniform. She was dressed in a sailor fuka and had short black hair. It was similar to the one Berserker was wearing. Could she be another Servant?

"Hi." I call out to her.

She looked at me, her eyes clawing into me with a freezing touch. This girl's icy stare made me melancholy. I was beginning to feel as if ice cubes were being stuffed up my nose and mouth.

Her presence was becoming unsettling.

Then her head twisted around with a loud snap.

"Fuuquw?! You guys see that." Archer spat.

"It is a difficult oversight Archer." Lancer replied.

_HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

The girl then lets out an ear shattering screech before lighting on fire. Then she falls over of the side. We all run to see if she was alright but when we got their she was gone without a trace.

"Well she left the stage in a blaze of glory." Archer remarked.

"You don't say." I sarcastically reply looking over the ledge.

* * *

Class: Saber

Master: Shirou Emiya

True Name: Dean Winchester

Sex: Male

Alignment: Chaotic good,

Strength: A

Endurance: B

Agility: C

Mana: B

Luck: A+

Class Skills-Magical Resistance (A)- Cancel spells of A-Rank or below. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi. It would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a "Magus Killer".

Riding (B)- Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. Cannot ride Phantasmal Beast.

Personal Skills:

Expert of many specializations- A: Access to and use of many expert skills. Dean has over his life mastered many skills of to improve his ability to hunt. Some skills include military tactics, lying, tracking, Mechanics, research, gambling, stealing, First aid, impersonation, falsifying documents, weapons creation and modification, picking up women, evasion, hand-to-hand combat, torture, cooking, basic chemistry and electronics, and pop culture knowledge.

Independent Action- A: The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the prana supply from the Master. At the higher ranks, it is also possible to remain for extended periods of time in this world without an established contract. It is both useful and troublesome depending on the disposition of the Servant and the rank of Independent Action. Acting in autonomy from the Master's prana supply, the Master can concentrate their own prana on large spells, or the Servant will be fine even in the case they cannot supply prana due to injury. The downside is that they can be harder to control and keep by their side, making the only true way to command them by utilizing Command Spells. He can remain in this world for a week even after losing his Master. However, to use Noble Phantasms of great Prana consumption, back up from the Master is necessary.

Divinity- E+: The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster, Demonic Beast raises. It can also decrease due one's dislike for the gods. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called "purge defense" in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith. Dean is blessed and protected by the Angel's of God but because he rejected his destiny he does not have a high rank. He also has protection from Angel's sight because of the Enochian sigils on his bones.

Pioneer of the stars- The unique Skill given to heroes that became turning points in the human history. All difficult voyages and challenges which are considered "impossible" turn into "events that can be realized". This is done when Sam and Dean averted the Apocalypse. This is only possible when the Winchester brothers are together, along with the help and support of their friends. This ability when used raises Luck Rank to EX allowing them to create a miracle.

Noble Phantasm:

The Colt – _The gun that can kill anything_: With Sammual Colts legendary Colt, Dean can instantly kill any being. Only armed with 13 bullets. (Note there are 5 beings immune to its effect). Rank: EX Anti Unit

The Impala – _Dean's Baby_: This black 1967 Chevy Impala is the Winchester family's pride and joy. Handed down to Dean by his father, it has been with him for his entire Hunter career. In the trunk is an arsenal of weapons that have been collected and used to combat supernatural foes the Winchester's has faced. Dean can summon any weapon or tool that he has ever used or keeps in The Trunk at low Prana cost. When summoned, the weapon is classified as it's own Noble Phantasm ranked E~A+ depending on the weapon itself. Rank: B+ Tactical Support Unit

List of items that can be summoned include various knives, machetes, axes, anti-shoujo sword, dead-mans blood, crossbow and arrows, stakes made of Silver, iron, and a variety of wood including Palo Santo. Purgetory blades, many firearms including Sawed-off double barrel and pump action shotguns, several pistols, along with multiple types of ammunition such as regular, silver, iron rounds, buck, and rocksalt. A high power rifle, flamethowers, multiple amulets and charms used for detecting, protection, and ritual summonings, hex bags made by Ruby and Sam, bags of salt, shovels, gasoline, EMF scanner, Angel swords, iron inscribed chains, Holy oil, labtop, coolers, fake ID's, Hunter books, and costumes.

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Class: The Impala

Master: Shirou Emiya (Sub-Servant)

True Name: Sam Winchester

Sex: None

Alignment: Chaotic good,

Strength: C

Endurance: C

Agility: B

Mana: A

Luck: D

Class Skills: Independent Action (C)- The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the prana supply from the Master. Sampala is a Sub-Servant summoned by Shirou Emiya under the command of Saber(Dean) as his Noble Phantasm. He receives a low level because of his Prana dependence to Saber rather than Shirou.

Personal skills:

Headache Sufferer- C: A curse inherited from the birthplace of one's previous life. Due suffering from chronic headaches, the success rate of mental Skills decreases considerably. Sam's soul will experience increasing headaches the closer he gets to his body.

Innocent Monster: The name of the monster that had his past and way of being distorted because of the image that was born from his behavior in the previous life. Both abilities and appearance were transformed. This skill cannot be removed.

Noble Phantasm:

1967 Chevy Impala— _Sampala the Knight Rider (fake)_: Because Sam's soul possesses the Impala he can control the car as if it were his own body. He can also summon any of the tools in The Trunk. Rank: D Tactical Support Unit


End file.
